Is their actually hope for bigger guys to date someone skinny?

[CatLove56]

Sorry I don't know where else to ask and was wondering ya'lls dating experiences. Rather not be fetishized like having a chaser but like fat guys are at a huge disadvantage. Plenty of skinny dudes will send me pics but never follow through and it's suicidal fuel lmao. Why the heck are these hot twinks messaging me and I guess they end up asking themselves the same thing.

 

[Golemishna]

why not? my aunt who is very skinny (i guess around 50 Kg) just had a kid with a huge guy who is around 2m and 120Kg

 

[identity0]

Of course. Not even sure what to say because it seems self-evident to me tbh.
It suppose it does get harder the bigger you get. hard to know what "bigger guys" means because i know some people with low self-esteem would write a post like this when theyre not even what i would consider "fat" or whatever. Gotta point out that there's always the possibility that you could lose weight too.

I have never tried apps though. Sometimes I've thought about trying them but i dont even know where to start. Seems like there are no gay dating apps that are for people that want to seek real monogamous relationships... grindr is not for that afaik?

 

[CatLove56]

Of course. Not even sure what to say because it seems self-evident to me tbh.
It suppose it does get harder the bigger you get. hard to know what "bigger guys" means because i know some people with low self-esteem would write a post like this when theyre not even what i would consider "fat" or whatever. Gotta point out that there's always the possibility that you could lose weight too.

I have never tried apps though. Sometimes I've thought about trying them but i dont even know where to start. Seems like there are no gay dating apps that are for people that want to seek real monogamous relationships... grindr is not for that afaik?

not picking on you but I always love when others suggest that the bigger people lose weight. no one ever tells skinny people they need to bulk up.
I think a lot of the dating apps are garbage anyway some of the profiles don't even look real

 

[identity0]

not picking on you but I always love when others suggest that the bigger people lose weight. no one ever tells skinny people they need to bulk up.
I think a lot of the dating apps are garbage anyway some of the profiles don't even look real

i spent almost all of my life underweight and had plenty of people tell that to me tbh. I did feel a bit off when i wrote that sentence so im sorry if it came across in a bad way, i didnt intend it (getting checked if i have autism soon, maybe it's that showing). In terms of having 'hope' like the thread topic i just see body weight and muscle etc as something that's very changeable, unlike a lot of things about our body and mind

I think a lot of the dating apps are garbage anyway some of the profiles don't even look real

Yeah it's hard for me to motivate myself to try at all, feel like it just harm me somehow

 

[derpyderpins]

not picking on you but I always love when others suggest that the bigger people lose weight. no one ever tells skinny people they need to bulk up.
I think a lot of the dating apps are garbage anyway some of the profiles don't even look real

Uh I had plenty of body dismorphia and esteem issues as a guy in my teens and 20s for being too skinny and not adequately bulking up. It's true people don't tell women to get larger too often (evidenced by you seeking a skinny woman in this thread) but there is immense cultural pressure for guys to get big, just with muscles and a proper figure rather than straight up weight.

i spent almost all of my life underweight and had plenty of people tell that to me tbh. I did feel a bit off when i wrote that sentence so im sorry if it came across in a bad way, i didnt intend it (getting checked if i have autism soon, maybe it's that showing). In terms of having 'hope' like the thread topic i just see body weight and muscle etc as something that's very changeable, unlike a lot of things about our body and mind

Yeah it's hard for me to motivate myself to try at all, feel like it just harm me somehow

You said there was a possibility of losing weight at the end of a very positive message. Which is true. Nothing you should feel bad about in that wording.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I guess it depends on how big you're talking, e.g morbidly obese will certainly be harder as it limits the relationship and the things you can do a lot.

I don't have an issue if a guy is overweight, I see physical appearance as something fleeting. Intelligence is what gets me going, and sense of humour, kindness, on the long run.

My long term boyfriend is 20kg overweight, I still find him hot. There are so many things to find attractive in a man: pretty hands, arms, kind eyes, nice back, shoulders, etc.

I think the biggest struggle of being overweight when the other person is skinny is the self confidence. My boyfriend has been plagued for this his entire life, his weight makes him feel ugly and hot all the time so he is uncomfortable. He has tried several times to lose weight but can never reach the ideal weight. Now he is trying again and I'm supporting him.

Personally, my only concern with someone being under or overweight is health. You love someone, you don't want them to be at risk of developing a serious illness and dying.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess it depends entirely on either what a person finds attractive or, if they even have that as a priority. I suppose I'd wonder more why you want to date someone skinny- their appearance is important to you- obviously. Again, it's fine if they go for bigger guys but, if you're expecting them to look good for you (I imagine it takes a lot of work- healthy eating, exercise) but, you're not willing to put in the effort to do the same for them, I imagine that could be a problem. Would you consider dating a bigger person and you both loose weight and get healthy together?