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J

Jkennedy

Knocking on death's door
May 20, 2021
90
Is suicide a process you have to come to terms with? how long before you take the leap? Or do some revert and recover?
 
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WornOutLife

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,183
I think so.
Suicide will always be part of me, no matter how many great things happen to me. I'm just...suicidal!

I'll live with it as long as I can but I'm conscious about the fact that I might ctb some random day in spite of being in recovery!
 
J

Jkennedy

Knocking on death's door
May 20, 2021
90
I think so.
Suicide will always be part of me, no matter how many great things happen to me. I'm just...suicidal!

I'll live with it as long as I can but I'm conscious about the fact that I might ctb some random day in spite of being in recovery!
I just wanna ctb full stop
I just wanna ctb full stop
I'm still starving myself see how far I can push it then push it some more
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,830
Yes. I have honestly never wanted to be alive and I have accepted the fact that life isn't for me. I take comfort in death. It is likely that I will ctb at some point in my life as I do not want to be old. However, I wish I didn't have to do it myself and I could just pass away peacefully. The thought of attempting many ctb methods fills me with dread due to the thought of failure, so maybe I haven't fully come to terms with the suicide process yet.
 
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Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
928
It certainly is. Takes variable time for everyone, every experience is different. Some do recover indeed.
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,081
Some people just do it, some people think about it & then do it, some just helplessly fantasize about it until they die of natural causes, some fight the urge & try to recover but never fully succeed, some actually recover
 
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Bedrock48

Bedrock48

Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
Feb 1, 2021
540
I'm sure there's some people that, either through impulse or brain chemistry, don't need to and just do it. However, I definitely have needed to take time to come to terms with it. Gradually wearing down my SI and accepting that I can and likely will die by suicide sometime in my future. Its a strange thing to accept but for me doing so has brought some peace and comfort.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still actively trying to recover and keep pushing forward on the daily but I think being suicidal will always be a part of my living experience.
 
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inthemoonblue

inthemoonblue

Member
Nov 26, 2020
84
I decided that it's a viable option so long ago, and I've considered it for the majority of my life. There's no way to undo that.
 
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RealLostSoul

RealLostSoul

once rock bottom, always rock bottom
Oct 11, 2019
212
For me it's a hard pill to swallow (nice pun lmao) as I know what it will imply to both me and my family and friends.
I am not yet sure if I will do it in an impulse or planned date but I know the future holds dark things for me.
fact is, once you really plan it everything changes. Everything loses it's meaning as it shatters in relevance, it's actually like you are already dead. This is a good feeling if your life has already shattered and I believe a lot of people stop at this point but once you don't really want to do it anymore the weight of life falls back on your shoulders and crushes you.

In reality suicide is a severe decision no matter how you twist it and definitely is something that, if planned, has to come to terms with. I am currently in the process of realizing it's over.
 
K

Kali Yuga

Member
Oct 4, 2022
50
The last year its all I think about every hour every day. I've been trying to perfect my plan, my letters, the execution of it all. But when the actual moment comes and I'm about to CTB I;m not sure how I'll handle it... I try to visualise it vividly to prepare. Sometimes I get worried, other times it seems like it will be easy enough. Kind of like bungie jumping or something I guess. I'm so scared about the repurcussions of suicide on others though. and a part of me is ashamed at becoming "that person who died by suicide" and draw attention to myself. So I cant quite seem to accept the factors out of my control. I just want to make sure I leave peacefully and dont bring any of my challenges with me after life
 
CentreMid

CentreMid

Midfielder
Aug 23, 2018
535
Is suicide a process you have to come to terms with? how long before you take the leap? Or do some revert and recover?
It varies from person to person, so I can't give you a definitive answer, sorry. I know for myself I've gone both ways. I've had 2 serious attempts, and multiple failed recovery attempts (currently stuck in limbo trying to figure out what to do)

I know from my own experience that it was something I had to come to terms with and accept, but it didn't take a very long time. It may take longer for others to accept it for whatever reason and that's okay.
 

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