Is one special person enough to not make you feel lonely?

[landslide2]

well, there are those times when u feel really down and alone and just one person reaches out and it can make it better. in those times it doesn't even have to be a romantic partner or someone super special.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

In my experience, having one person is a very, very dangerous place to be. It's like a recipe for dependancy, and when or if (it's usually when, human relationships have an expiration date) that person leaves, or when or if the nature of the relationship somehow changes (moving away, getting caught up in a job or a crisis, having an argument and needing to take a break, falling in love either with each other, the other person, someone else, illness, anything can happen because people are volatile) that is most often a guaranteed trauma. Through my life I have had a habit of not really attaching to anyone, then comes a person who seems to Have It All™, I get super attached to them because of my lack of meaningful attachment and then bam another traumatization. Nowadays, when I notice it happening I run towards other friends first thing. I wouldn't rely on them, humans are untrustworthy by nature and tend to leave as soon as it truly matters but it eases the need to attach.

 

[Blue Elephant]

So having someone close is dangerous while having no one is safe but lonely. Bloody hell but this is sad!

I would chose one person though, I have no one and it's so.. I mean what's the point of existing?

 

[derpyderpins]

One person can accomplish a lot, but I think most people will typically need more than one person in their life. Different connections give you different benefits. Different people can fit different moods and more appropriate for certain subjects. It's nice to have a primary romantic partner and then supplemental friends to fill in the cracks.

It's a lot of pressure to dump on one person expecting them to be everything for you.

Been thinking about this.

You and the potential single life partner can work towards filling all the cracks over time. It will always be a working process if you go about it right. You need to build trust and intimacy. Physically being together plays a big part of that (at least for me): going to sleep and waking up next to that person. You become more like one person than two as you experience life together.

It's very dangerous to expect someone to fill all the roles and cracks early in a relationship. That seems destined for failure and unhealthy codependency.

 

[Shakespeare&Company]

No, just leads to codependency. I still felt lonely.

 

[Blue Elephant]

I fully agree with @derpyderpins. One person CAN be enough if it's the right person. Looking into her eyes, seeing her sleep, feeling her presence.. that was plenty enough for me. : )

Dependency will follow once you open up and trust them. I mean this is love, or friendship, the ability to allow another to support you, and to support them back. This kind of dependency doesn't have to be a bad thing though. Would you walk in the cold without a jacket on? I wouldn't! Am I dependent on the jacket? Of course I am! But I don't see it as a bad thing, I see it as a simple comfort that every person who is cold should have. No one should freeze in the winter! .. No one should be alone! And yet .. : (