Venting Is loneliness a good reason to commit suicide?

[Eren]

I know this is the typical thing that many people say, but loneliness really bothers me.

I have a job that I like, I don't have really serious health problems (some not serious, but tolerable), I get along with my parents etc ... but loneliness bothers me, I don't feel like others, I can't even keep IRL friendships, the only "friends" I thought were my friends (I met them since childhood) ignore me and use me as their "plan b" which is really painful.

I would love to have a partner and share my life with that person, but it is impossible due to my null social skills and my strange sexuality. Many people would think that they are nonsense, but I really do not enjoy life, loneliness is not the only reason, but it is 70%, I never feel good in a group etc ... Does this happen to anyone else?

Do you think it is an absurd motive for CTB?

 

[BabyYoda]

Do you think it is an absurd motive for CTB?

Nah. In fact it's also one of the reasons why I want to CTB. While I do have friends that I can talk to, I'm nobody's favorite among any of them. I neither have a best friend or a romantic partner. My motivation for socializing has sharply gone down during the last few months of 2019.

 

[anonymous anomaly]

I think it depends on how you view yourself in the future. Do you think that you'll find someone in the future? Do you see yourself having a future? Loneliness can be very hard and it's especially hard to reach out to anyone. Personally, I find the best thing to do is to do things you love and enjoy. You might find yourself making new friends or meeting someone. But still, it's completely normal if you want CTB out of loneliness (I've often considered it myself). This forum is a very caring community and if you ever feel alone, there'll always be someone who understands or who you can talk to.

 

[randomz]

It could be a reason, yes, but there is always time to make some friends. Try taking on a social hobby even if it is an online now - like playing a MMO game or something.

 

[Garbage Person]

Not absurd at all. Loneliness can be crushing and things aren't always what you may expect on the other side. Personally, I feel more alone when I'm around others in most cases, especially in groups. At the same time, you may learn to enjoy your solitude. Relationships can take a lot of work and you're still responsible for your own happiness and also part of someone else's. The responsibility can become a burden to either party at any time. They are a gamble and a responsibility, to me anyway.

 

[CarefulWithThatAxe]

I don't think so I've been lonely my whole life but it's not why I want to ctb.

 

[Eren]

Do you think that you'll find someone in the future? Do you see yourself having a future?

Not really, I've already tried everything, and I can't, I feel unable to integrate into any group.

It could be a reason, yes, but there is always time to make some friends. Try taking on a social hobby even if it is an online now - like playing a MMO game or something.

I play online games, and I don't see that as really socializing, and yet, I've had a lot of problems with others online, I'm a social handicapped

 

[Defenestrator]

I think loneliness is a big factor for most of us wanting to ctb - I also think that's why this forum helps so many peple, at least for a while. Birds of a feather and all that...

 

[Xaphous]

Yeah loneliness/isolating main reason I want to be gone. I have no one but my own mother to talk to. I can totally see why chubbuck shot herself in the head.

 

[Y-B]

Yeah, I can understand that too. Loneliness is terribly.

 

[1DayItWillBover]

Imagine you wake up.. you have no one to talk to.. you go to work you and again you have no one to talk to. No one understands you. Something memorable happens at work or you see something but you have no one to tell. You see everyone around you happy, in relationships, etc. but you come home and you look in the mirror and you only see yourself then you go to bed by yourself just for the same shit to happen all over. Wanting it to end because you are lonely is very true, especially for me.

 

[Jean4]

It's one of the reason on my list. Having no friends or family and only leaving the house for doctors appointments. I don't even get dressed anymore. I live in my pajamas.... so I understand.

 

[Scooby-Doo]

I choose to be lonely because of my problem. I know it doesn't do me any good but until I find a solution things ain't gonna change. I don't see any hope but keep going till the bubble bursts.

 

[Jean Améry]

What a 'good' reason to CTB is up to the individual to decide. I cannot and will not make that call for anyone but myself.

I do believe loneliness can be extremely painful since companionship is a basic human need and we are social creatures after all.

Given that there are over 7 billion people on this planet theoretically it should be possible to be able to find someone with whom one can relate at least to some degree.

I do not often ask myself whether I'm lonely (perhaps I simply don't want to know, lol). I do have family but I do not relate to them much. I do have friends whom I care about but that only goes so far. I had a few people with whom I was really close, to the point of becoming happy just by being with them or even just talking to them on the phone but that is gone. Am I loney? In part but I try not to let it get to me.

 

[voyager]

[...]

It's funny, ever since my mhi I've become a total recluse (180° difference from before). I don't want any more company and have pushed everyone away. Most gave up rather quickly. My best friend otoh kept at it for three years, bless him. If I could I'd fly solo through space I would. Never saw myself ending here socialising, but this is in bounds.

Thing I'm saying is, what bothers us is completely down to each of us as individuals. I'd give you lot my comfort with solitude if I could and you probably have some things I would've yearned for. If you really feel this makes up 70% of what troubles you then I'd stick at it for a while. You might be an individual, but you're not an exception, there probably is someone out there who will fit to you.

 

[Empty Smile]

I think loneliness hits people differently. I prefer to be alone. It gives me the ability to do what I want and without judgement from others.

Sometimes I want to be in the company of others, but when it happens, I lock up and don't say anything anyway, so it's pretty pointless.

 

[LMLN]

It's the major thing for me. Loneliness. But loneliness with my husband passed on. I had 30 years of companionship with him. I'm so lonely without that love and companionship.

 

[Eren]

Yeah loneliness/isolating main reason I want to be gone. I have no one but my own mother to talk to. I can totally see why chubbuck shot herself in the head.

I understand you perfectly, I am exactly the same.

 

[OneBigBlur]

Yes. I have many other problems from traumatic experiences but ultimately it's 30 years of loneliness that will kill me.

 

[mesohappy]

When I was young,loneliness bothered me..I always thought I needed to be in a group or in a romantic relationship,if not I didn't feel fulfilled..But then after getting burned in relationships and running with the pack and getting dragged into other peoples problems and feeling used and manipulated all the time,I learned to really appreciate solitude.If I could, I would be alone all the time,with just pets.But in order to function and survive in this world, im forced to put on my mask and dance for the crowd.

 

[MysticPerception]

No reason is absurd in my opinion. If being lonely is hurting you enough that you want to ctb then that's just how things are. While I think maybe you could work towards making your situation better in the future and make yourself feel less lonely it's still a valid reason just as much as any other.

 

[TheEndof]

I think loneliness is a reason or part of the reason for many. I think that if I didn't feel deeply lonely, I would be less likely to CTB. It's more than just not having friends or a romantic partner. I've had periods with a healthy social life, but I was still lonely. It is difficult to find friendships and even partnerships that go beyond the surface level and touch you in a way that is significant. I'm currently in a long term relationship and still feel deep loneliness.

I think that after a certain point I've just become so damaged that even if I was able to form a connection with friends or even another partner, it wouldn't matter.

 

[Final Escape]

I know this is the typical thing that many people say, but loneliness really bothers me.

I have a job that I like, I don't have really serious health problems (some not serious, but tolerable), I get along with my parents etc ... but loneliness bothers me, I don't feel like others, I can't even keep IRL friendships, the only "friends" I thought were my friends (I met them since childhood) ignore me and use me as their "plan b" which is really painful.

I would love to have a partner and share my life with that person, but it is impossible due to my null social skills and my strange sexuality. Many people would think that they are nonsense, but I really do not enjoy life, loneliness is not the only reason, but it is 70%, I never feel good in a group etc ... Does this happen to anyone else?

Do you think it is an absurd motive for CTB?

I wouldn't do it over this. Yes I'm going through it too. I lost someone that I really liked seeing. It shattered me, but I don't think it's a good enough reason even though it hurts very badly. I mean it is a reason but I would try to do something about it b4 u just end it. Social skills aren't something that comes easy for everyone u must learn. If u can sign up for like improv class or anything that gets u around new people. Ballroom dancing class for example. Heck go to 12 step meetings u can be awkward as fuck in there and pple will treat u nice. It's usually pretty non judgemental. It is up to u to push yourself out there. Don't worry about your weird sexuality that's something that can probably be solved once u form some relationships. Just focus on getting used to being social. If u have to have a drink first then do it lol! Good luck :)

 

[chris8000]

Sorry to hear your suffering a lot from this.

It isn't an absurd reason, think of all the older people there are which lose their life partners after many years and how they must feel to be alone. So loneliness can be a cause of significant suffering I'm sure. However, there are things that can be done to try to deal with this and it isn't always a hopeless situation. I think you've had some good suggestions from others here.

Now I have this disease, I've lost contact with most people, and I guess this forum and others provide me with some sort of replacement. Other than that I try to keep my mind occupied with various activities and exercises. It works pretty well.

 

[TAW122]

I know this is the typical thing that many people say, but loneliness really bothers me.

I have a job that I like, I don't have really serious health problems (some not serious, but tolerable), I get along with my parents etc ... but loneliness bothers me, I don't feel like others, I can't even keep IRL friendships, the only "friends" I thought were my friends (I met them since childhood) ignore me and use me as their "plan b" which is really painful.

I would love to have a partner and share my life with that person, but it is impossible due to my null social skills and my strange sexuality. Many people would think that they are nonsense, but I really do not enjoy life, loneliness is not the only reason, but it is 70%, I never feel good in a group etc ... Does this happen to anyone else?

Do you think it is an absurd motive for CTB?

I am in a similar situation as well, no one really calls me or invites me to do stuff. It's almost always I am the one who does it first and sometimes they wouldn't even respond or quickly dismiss me, which is really sad. Maybe once in a blue moon someone will just initiate contact but only for a very brief small talk. I also have terrible social skills and not really "fully" belong into a group. Sure there are people who act 'nice' around me just to be friendly (as they are with like everybody), but other than that, I'm pretty much an outsider for the most part.

As far as this being one of your reasons for CTB, I don't think it's invalid nor absurd. Being lonely can negatively impact your mentally and affect your quality of life in various ways so it is a valid reason imho.

 

[Eren]

I am in a similar situation as well, no one really calls me or invites me to do stuff. It's almost always I am the one who does it first and sometimes they wouldn't even respond or quickly dismiss me, which is really sad.

I'm sorry, it's really hard, I don't have any IRL to talk to really. The only two childhood "friends" I have have disappointed me, it's hard.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Loneliness is one of my reasons. I don't live alone but I feel lonely. It's a killer.

 

[terry_a_davis]

+1 for being lonely as the main reason for ctb.

 

[ComingClose]

I live with my husband and my 'almost' middle aged son but I'm soo lonely. The odd thing is, I don't really have much time to BE lonely due to working most waking hours, cooking their meals when I get home, sleeping and then waking to repeat it all again the next day but still, this loneliness lies within me and pushes me to find a place like this. CTB may be the answer..I just don't know for sure

 

[dundyfundy]

It is one of my reasons as well, not the main reason but it adds to the issues. At the very least maybe I could last longer if I had an SO and a bunch of close friends I could hang out with everyday, or could get a different perspective on things which would help me push through to find a way to permanently hang on.

As for if it's a right reason, it depends I guess on the person and the situation. Generally I think it is a valid reason. But as others suggested would really try working on it first, see where things take you. Maybe try IRL communities, or even online communities based in your country for things you are interested in, or specific things you identify with. You might not get along with quite a few people, but best to do is not to dwell on it and just move on, hopefully you will find like minded people. And maybe they will know an individual or two as well, and you could vibe together.

I have tried hard for years pursuing my main reason of severe depression before I considered pursuing CBT. As I ended up failing reaching it (financial independence, which would give me freedom of pure existence and nothing else), and got myself into a worse situation, I don't have strength to keep on going or pursuing it anymore. Loneliness adds on top of that. But I am glad I at least tried doing something about it, I think those who can identify a root cause should all try and see if they can deal with it first somehow, before pursuing CBT.