is it wrong for me to admire people to attempted suicide before?

[Verklempt]

i have never attempted before. when i see people who say they attempted before, i just admire them. because for me, i see them as a strong person and that they fought back their SI and did it. i was too scared to ctb and i'm still am. maybe i'm not that suicidal enough, or i'm just over thinking all of this

 

[BooGirl]

I feel the exact same way. I'm a weak little shit who doesn't have the courage to do what I need to do.

 

[Verklempt]

exactly what i'm thinking.

I feel the exact same way. I'm a weak little shit who doesn't have the courage to do what I need to do.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I'm on the other side of it. I hate that it has come to this and i wouldn't wish this for anyone. The inevitability of my mortality is so jarring.

I see plenty to admire in those who still have hesitations and reasons to continue living.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

I'm the same, I've even sadly pushed others to suicidal attempts through my bipolar crazy but that's no excuse, and yet I have not yet attempted suicide myself <3 Except that I deserve to it feels like as much as they did <3 When the world is very cold and I have to try to be bold and play with mold but the mold is not very clear sorry a bit of word salad it's healthy <3

 

[Lostandfound7]

i have never attempted before. when i see people who say they attempted before, i just admire them. because for me, i see them as a strong person and that they fought back their SI and did it. i was too scared to ctb and i'm still am. maybe i'm not that suicidal enough, or i'm just over thinking all of this

I admire those who decide to stay n fight, cuz I don't have the strength to..

 

[Ghost2211]

It is not weakness to fear death. It is deeply ingrained in our evolutionary coding. There may be a part of you that still wants to live. Being suicidal isn't always about wanting to literally die. Sometimes we just want every aspect of our existence to change, and death is the ultimate change. Feeling trapped can also make us want to die, as we see no other path. A lot of people with suicidal ideations would be a hell of a lot less suicidal if we were handed a billion dollars and a fresh start somewhere new.

Fear of ctb might just mean it's not the right time. Personally, when I ctb I want to do so with hope, joy, and relief. I would not want to ctb with fear or anger.

 

[S1mpleme]

This is going to be my first and the last time.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

i have never attempted before. when i see people who say they attempted before, i just admire them. because for me, i see them as a strong person and that they fought back their SI and did it. i was too scared to ctb and i'm still am. maybe i'm not that suicidal enough, or i'm just over thinking all of this

I admire those who have a suicide plan and go through with it ,I want one so bad

 

[Trisolaris]

I admire those who have gone through with it, especially those who hanged themselves, which I just can't seem to do.

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

i have never attempted before. when i see people who say they attempted before, i just admire them. because for me, i see them as a strong person and that they fought back their SI and did it. i was too scared to ctb and i'm still am. maybe i'm not that suicidal enough, or i'm just over thinking all of this

I was going to mention it to my friends though they wouldn't understand bc they're not suicidal . I'm jealous of people who've killed themselves as macabre as that sounds . They went through with it and are finally at piece and I couldn't help but envy them .

 

[mathieu]

I have tried many times but I'm so not worthy of admiration. I wimped out most times and saved myself. I admire people who've actually done it. I think it takes a lot of courage.

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

I was going to mention it to my friends though they wouldn't understand bc they're not suicidal . I'm jealous of people who've killed themselves as macabre as that sounds . They went through with it and are finally at piece and I couldn't help but envy them .

*peace smh

I have tried many times but I'm so not worthy of admiration. I wimped out most times and saved myself.

Same here . We're in the same unfortunate boat :(

 

[Merith]

It'll just be a few gulps.

 

[Mr2005]

It's too easy to imagine they commited suicide so they must be just like you but it isn't true. There's a wide range of reasons for doing it. It might not be someone you'd miss. So do I admire them just because they commited suicide? No, it doesn't automatically make them a great person

 

[waterbottleman]

It'll just be a few gulps.

SN?

 

[TAW122]

I don't think it is wrong and the people who had attempted before, had to fight their SI so that in and of itself takes a lot of courage to do. Also, they are in difficult circumstances that caused them to consider it so there is also a part of me that feels empathy.

 

[AlreadyGone]

I do not admire people who ctb because I wouldn't want it to come down to that. I do applaud their courage to take matters into their own hands and follow through. They made a decision and they saw it through to the end. That is admirable.

 

[terry_a_davis]

My username is based on a man with a tragic story who ctb in 2018, i admired him but not for killing himself, i think killing himself by train was a horrible ending and a waste of real talent.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Just to add to the convo, David Foster Wallace put it in much better words than i could:

" The so-called 'psychotically depressed' person who tries to kill herself doesn't do so out of quote 'hoplessness' or any abstract conviction that life's assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable levels will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is till just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire's flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It's not desiring the fall; it's terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling 'Don't!' and 'Hang on!', can understand the jump. Not really. You'd have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling. "

 

[Alec]

I admire them too and think the same things, I think they were brave enough and strong enough to try and do it. And I admire people who successfully did it too.
I used think that just because I haven't tried yet maybe I'm not suicidal enough or maybe I don't want it at all and am just being dramatic, maybe I don't even feel or have things being so bad and I'm just exaggerating if I still haven't tried it. But I don't think it's the case now, now I know better, the truth is suicide involved many MANY things and fear of death and SI are just some of those things. There's unfulfilled dreams, thoughts about what happens after death - afterlife? Thoughts about what if I haven't really done everything I could have to save myself, what if I waited at least one more day some kind of miracle would happen?... and stuff like that. Eventually I attempted, I survived, and now when I want to do it again I still think if maybe my reason to ctb isn't valid enough, maybe I'm not strong enough to actually do it and go through with it and so on. I think it's just a state where one feels like it's time and a person feels as ready as they'll ever be and maybe because one is tired of waiting in that miracle, because a person can only take so much. It's a complicated topic really because there are so many things playing part in it. But what I'm trying to say is, you are not weak and you are not a coward, you pain is valid and should be acknowledged for as big and as painful as you feel it, the rest of the thing like whether you are ready or not, I don't know what to say really maybe I can't give any advice because for everyone it's different after all, so I'll just - I wish the best for you, and I love you!

 

[Shero]

I don't admire them, i envy them. This attitude is in general with the deceased.

 

[Flippy]

I feel the exact same way. I'm a weak little shit who doesn't have the courage to do what I need to do.

Couldn't have put it better myself!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

People have called me brave because I do things they are afraid to so, but for me it's not brave, I just can. They experience who I am from their own experience, just as I do others.

I think admiration comes when we agree with something the other person does or can do, and we aspire to do the same, or/and they affirm what we value about ourselves, or desire for ourselves. It's like they're the affirmation of what we see in the mirror that we like, or desire to see if we don't.

 

[lookin4areason]

well if it is then i'm even more wrong, cuz I actually admire those that DO it, not just attempt it. I want the strength they have to end it.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

People have called me brave because I do things they are afraid to so, but for me it's not brave, I just can. They experience who I am from their own experience, just as I do others.

I think admiration comes when we agree with something the other person does or can do, and we aspire to do the same, or/and they affirm what we value about ourselves, or desire for ourselves. It's like they're the affirmation of what we see in the mirror that we like, or desire to see if we don't.

You put it with such clarity. It really is the subjectivity of experience. I have accomplished things that allegedly seem remarkable to certain observers, but to me it just felt like i had to do it to survive. There was no choosing an option of doing better.

Sink or swim.

 

[ReneeSuicideAccount]

I've had a few different attempts but sadly none worked, I do not deserve admiration. I am just a fucked up mess that should be dead already.

the last attempt I really thought was it, I could feel my body was not going to survive it when I passed out. It was so peaceful and felt like I was going to be free. Sadly hours later I woke up I was so ruined mentally by it that the next few days when I was too weak to get off the couch I passed out on did not even bother me. I was and remain just a failure.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I admire those who decide to stay n fight, cuz I don't have the strength to..

I feel the same way, have attempted several times before, I feel nothing but admiration for those who stay and live a life that I get crushed under the weight of.

 

[WhiteDespair]

I do not. I mostly find myself irritated when people attempt to ctb as a cry for attention. Wears thin really quickly.

I can understand why people do it, however.

 

[EmptyArms]

I find the whole suicide rockstar thing quite immature, and those threads about who is your favourite famous person who killed themselves are sick frankly. Theres nothing glamorous about being dead.