Help is it worth going back to therapy

[strawberrydino]

i want to preface this by saying i am almost 100% certain that i have extreme mood swings because of my period. but basically my therapist went on a month long vacation and I really hate online appointments. i think i like her a person, im not sure shes a good therapist. i want to try therapy again(mostly bc i wish it would just fix me but thats a delulu belief)
but a) im lgbtq and my current therapist just doesnt really understand nonbinary gender identities and im having a hard time trying to get my body dysphoria understood. generally a topic i also dont get.(side tangent i think im more nb, but i have constant thoughts about wishing to be a boy thinking of how better it would be to be a boy- that one might be internalized misogyny. i hate having a gender. i dont like my more fem name so i kinda split up my name into a nickname thats pretty androgynous. i hate my body- only time i appreciate having a nice body is when i think about myself in the third person as another person. have a repulsive feeling when referred to as woman or girl. had the greatest moment when a stranger said to my mom she should be proud to have a smart son. its just. i cant associate myself with male either. long tangent. i also wouldnt mind advice about my suddenly acute but constant gender confusion)
b) i feel like i dont really connect with my therapist and she doesnt with me.
c) once a status quo is set i have a hard time changing it. i want to ask her what shes looking for/is writing(if she can even disclose) but i feel like ive set a mental boundary of her being an authority
c) my mom is paying for therapy and i think she doesnt understand why i go. shes always asking me when im going to be done and since i havent gone for two months i dont want to ask her again. plus i would have to take the car and its just. idk. this is made worse bc i would likely want to change therapists and shes going to be like why, to who, its just not good
d) time is an issue sometimes. maybe i should just limit to one month

pros
a) i think i need therapist. i have anxiety its evident in my everyday life and i fear its getting worse and worse. i feel a constant impending sense of doom of the next day my whole life coming in general and grades
b) i cant keep venting on here its not healthy or fair
c) i need help from my meltdowns its not good. everything feels like its spiraling out of control
d) suicidal ideation

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How can a therapist solve a genetic issue?

Either you want to cope with the facts how you are and you search a therapist who is able to help you in this case or you don't wanna cope then therapy won't have any chance. That's my honest opinion on that.

b) i cant keep venting on here its not healthy or fair

You can vent here as much as you wish!

c) i need help from my meltdowns its not good. everything feels like its spiraling out of control

You need a solution at the core problem.

d) suicidal ideation

If the core problem is solved suicidal ideation most likely will disappear.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

Therapy can help with gender dysphoria, but if you don't have a good read on it yourself than they can only do so much that wouldn't be outright convincing you of things that might not be true. You're clearly not happy about being female, but you're also not sure if you fit as a male. That's logical within the realm of gender dysphoria, so what you need to figure out next is what exactly are you looking for in yourself? I'm pretty satisfied being a transwoman even though I would never accept the label of "female" (the reasons behind such are beyond the scope of this reply). So, do you like anything about masculinity specifically, or is it more a general discomfort with femininity?

It's perfectly valid to be somewhere in the middle. Androgyny is something a lot of people find themselves most comfortable in even if they don't exactly ID as NB. It's also fine to not like, or still like your femininity despite any hang-ups you feel about it. Experimenting is your right if your social surroundings allow for it safely, so if possible, don't be afraid to. It doesn't have to be anything radical, just enough to help you feel out what does and does not work for you.

 

[Scythe]

For me it's more can the problems be solved by talking. Something like gender dysphoria is not to me, because it requires physical change, I suggest getting some kind of HRT, at least hormone suppersants. Hormone suppersants have no lasting effects and is safe for trying things out. Therapy can help with general anxiety, paranoia and the likes that's purely in your head. You need to find the right therapist but it can help.

 

[strawberrydino]

How can a therapist solve a genetic issue?

Either you want to cope with the facts how you are and you search a therapist who is able to help you in this case or you don't wanna cope then therapy won't have any chance. That's my honest opinion on that.


You can vent here as much as you wish!


You need a solution at the core problem.


If the core problem is solved suicidal ideation most likely will disappear.

true a therapist cannot fix the fundamental issue which may actually just be a brain imbalances(made worse by teenage). i think the core problem is i dont know what the core problem is. i know lifes not so simple to be just a singular thing. but i wish a therapist would help me figure out this core problem.

but on venting here. its nice the community is possible the most relatable you can have when im in the absolute shitter. but am i really working towards change of my situation if i just keep venting it feels like short emotional releases that only stave off the inevitable doom and gloom.

Therapy can help with gender dysphoria, but if you don't have a good read on it yourself than they can only do so much that wouldn't be outright convincing you of things that might not be true. You're clearly not happy about being female, but you're also not sure if you fit as a male. That's logical within the realm of gender dysphoria, so what you need to figure out next is what exactly are you looking for in yourself? I'm pretty satisfied being a transwoman even though I would never accept the label of "female" (the reasons behind such are beyond the scope of this reply). So, do you like anything about masculinity specifically, or is it more a general discomfort with femininity?

It's perfectly valid to be somewhere in the middle. Androgyny is something a lot of people find themselves most comfortable in even if they don't exactly ID as NB. It's also fine to not like, or still like your femininity despite any hang-ups you feel about it. Experimenting is your right if your social surroundings allow for it safely, so if possible, don't be afraid to. It doesn't have to be anything radical, just enough to help you feel out what does and does not work for you.

yeah i guess i really need to be more comfortable not always being a label. its okay to not have a singular label. but man i live by boxes and sorting and generalizing. rules and logic are the only things sometimes keeping me going and if i can guarantee i fit into a box i know what goal to fix. otherwise im fucked. i have a bad emotional hold on my feelings, actually probably because i sort myself into boxes including my emotions, and i fundamentally dont understand what i want. i contextualize and rationalize everything into what i know others experiences are like and hope i work the same way. spoilers it usually is not that simple. yk i think this is exactly wat a therapist is for. okay great.

 

[tormentedhusk]

a) i think i need therapist. i have anxiety its evident in my everyday life and i fear its getting worse and worse. i feel a constant impending sense of doom of the next day my whole life coming in general and grades

It's worth it if you think it will make you feel better.

 

[nya]

i want to preface this by saying i am almost 100% certain that i have extreme mood swings because of my period. but basically my therapist went on a month long vacation and I really hate online appointments. i think i like her a person, im not sure shes a good therapist. i want to try therapy again(mostly bc i wish it would just fix me but thats a delulu belief)
but a) im lgbtq and my current therapist just doesnt really understand nonbinary gender identities and im having a hard time trying to get my body dysphoria understood. generally a topic i also dont get.(side tangent i think im more nb, but i have constant thoughts about wishing to be a boy thinking of how better it would be to be a boy- that one might be internalized misogyny. i hate having a gender. i dont like my more fem name so i kinda split up my name into a nickname thats pretty androgynous. i hate my body- only time i appreciate having a nice body is when i think about myself in the third person as another person. have a repulsive feeling when referred to as woman or girl. had the greatest moment when a stranger said to my mom she should be proud to have a smart son. its just. i cant associate myself with male either. long tangent. i also wouldnt mind advice about my suddenly acute but constant gender confusion)
b) i feel like i dont really connect with my therapist and she doesnt with me.
c) once a status quo is set i have a hard time changing it. i want to ask her what shes looking for/is writing(if she can even disclose) but i feel like ive set a mental boundary of her being an authority
c) my mom is paying for therapy and i think she doesnt understand why i go. shes always asking me when im going to be done and since i havent gone for two months i dont want to ask her again. plus i would have to take the car and its just. idk. this is made worse bc i would likely want to change therapists and shes going to be like why, to who, its just not good
d) time is an issue sometimes. maybe i should just limit to one month

pros
a) i think i need therapist. i have anxiety its evident in my everyday life and i fear its getting worse and worse. i feel a constant impending sense of doom of the next day my whole life coming in general and grades
b) i cant keep venting on here its not healthy or fair
c) i need help from my meltdowns its not good. everything feels like its spiraling out of control
d) suicidal ideation

hii, good to see a fellow enby <3
but uhm, what are describing really does sound a lot like gender dysphoria, which, as you probably know, is a very real thing - classified in the icd-10 under f64, and thus should be taken really seriously by any self-respecting therapist, especially due to the high suicide rate in trans folk (almost feels a little ironic bringing this up here qwq)
luckily, there are treatment options - in this case mostly transitioning (because yes, enbies do fall under the trans umbrella), ranging from social transition, so coming out to people around you, legally changing your name and removing/changing the gender marker on offical documents of yours, to physical transition, tackling the body dysphoria you have.
be it cross sex hormones, be it binding, be it, at some point, top surgery, haircuts, clothing options, all of that stuff, which is proven to help the vast majority.
now, there aren't a lot of countries where this is can be done "just like that" (sadly), and having a supportive therapist by your side is something really important, also and especially considering the things you outlined here - the impending sense of doom, the spiraling out of control, of course the dysphoria which present through depressive episodes, kill self-worth and all sorts of stuff, and finally also the suicidal ideation suggesting you are not feeling too great about life.
thus i would wholeheartedly recommend looking for a queer-friendly therapist, here in germany we have sth called 'queermed', an online directory of queer friendly doctors of all sorts - perhaps the country you are from has something similiar? if not, then look around online for anecdotal reports, maybe write mails to queer organisations near you, get into touch with other queer folk in your area - maybe they have recommendations?
and you can absolutely go on venting however long you want - it is, in my experience rather healthy to speak your mind and just let/type/speak it all out - many people find it makes them feel miles better afterwards
and, even if some people here may not want to read those vents, which is totally fine, then they should just stop reading, get out of your thread, and go about their day, reading sth else on this forum perhaps, so you absolutely can keep venting here or anywhere really, that's what this whole recovery forum is for after all, engaging in this type of interaction with other users here ^^
finally, let me just say that this must be incredibly difficult for you (it was for me so i'll just project if you don't mind :3), and i am proud of you for getting this far despite the challenging situation - i believe that, ideally with therapeutic help, you will be able to grow into someone you recognise as yourself, and in whose skin you feel genuinely comfortable, i solemnly wish that for you, and i am about 134% sure this someone will be absolutely amazing, just like you probably are amazing <3
so lots of love, and if you ever need a friendly ear to vent to, just want to talk or really whatever, i'm there ^^

 

[Praestat_Mori]

i wish a therapist would help me figure out this core problem.

I would assume that is the major job of a therapist to find the core problem of a "mental illness" - unless the core problem is solved there's no cure. "Mental illness" isn't like a broken leg that basically heals on its own.

I wish you all the best and good luck