lost illusions

lost illusions

bye
Sep 12, 2018
548
I've spent the last two holidays (Christmas) holed up in my apartment drinking myself to death. I'm looking forward to not having to deal with the intense loneliness of such a holiday—everyone is happy with their families and so forth.


Online dating is a shit show. I did it on and off for years. And even if you do connect with someone most men seem to just want sex, and women are equally shallow (I've seen profiles where women say "if you drive a Kia don't contact me). I no longer want any part of it.

Inability to connect with other humans is the prima facta reason I want and need to go. Never had a single friend in HS, couldn't relate to their fun and games plus I was a weirdo I guess, and still am at 38.

Life without connection is for me completely meaningless, and I've been lonely too long because of it. Time to get the hell out NOW.

The only connections I care about now are with other suicidal folks and people who understand my decision.
I agree
 
lost illusions

lost illusions

bye
Sep 12, 2018
548
I've only met one person that didn't really judge what she seen, and actually took a little time to get to know me. I call her my best friend even though we were nothing more than "acquaintances" sorry spelling sucks. I'm thankful every day. But also made wonder why a stranger could be kind, loving, and want nothing in return. And yet many people treat me like shit. I don't get it
 
Samuel

Samuel

Wise
Apr 25, 2018
243
Thats a matter of perspective.
Im sure many people who dont feel attractive still want to live. However if someone feels ugly and wants to CTB thats fine too.
If someone has been lonely for a long time and its not going to change at all, i would say that person has a right to CTB.
You can change loneliness, but you cant change ugly. I see your point though.
 
Ashpac

Ashpac

Lost and always will be.
Jul 22, 2018
795
You can change loneliness, but you cant change ugly. I see your point though.

You cant always change loneliness, your partner could of died and you have no children to begin with and no friends or family left. Plenty of situations where loneliness cant change. I get what you meant though, sometimes it can change but it depends on several factors.
 
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