Venting is it time

[keyakizaka]

I want to kill myself really bad and I have it set up in my closet for whenever I'm ready. but I never feel ready lately. it always feels like there's just one more thing I need to do, but I know that's not true. I tried to do it in 2023 via carbon monoxide but backed out after I don't know survival instinct? I just zone out. I think it's a defense mechanism or something. I might just do it now or within a couple of hours. I have no one irl, and my online friends are even distancing themselves, it's too lonely. too lonely. if I don't kill myself tonight I'll just be embarrassed.

 

[whywere]

I care about you a lot and I know the feeling of not only loneliness, but having people "forget" about me, yep been there.

HOWEVER, you belong to SaSu and as far as I am concerned, we are ALL family here looking out for each other and making folks feel wanted and important, like YOU!

Lots of hugs, love, caring thoughts and the knowledge that you are a VERY valuable soul and family to/for me always.

Walter

 

[Languish]

I want to kill myself really bad and I have it set up in my closet for whenever I'm ready. but I never feel ready lately. it always feels like there's just one more thing I need to do, but I know that's not true. I tried to do it in 2023 via carbon monoxide but backed out after I don't know survival instinct? I just zone out. I think it's a defense mechanism or something. I might just do it now or within a couple of hours. I have no one irl, and my online friends are even distancing themselves, it's too lonely. too lonely. if I don't kill myself tonight I'll just be embarrassed.

If we have to question if it's time, and we don't feel ready/have more things to do - then it isn't time. Could be SI, could be hope, but there is no rush to die. I think it is best for one to choose death when they are ready, calm, content. Not as a panic impusivity during a bad day.