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J

johntee2

Member
Jan 17, 2021
59
This is probably a rhetorical question. I wake up terrified every day. My heart doesn't work properly so I'm condemned to waiting for a suffocating, hideous death from a cardiovascular event. My daily routine is one of fatigue, fear and fighting sleep, I need an escape from this hell. I tried with helium but failed. I found out in the PPH that they doctor it with air. Getting the flow rates right anyway without a regulator would need a friggin on-site engineer to oversee it. Ideally, I'd like to go in a drug haze without pain. It's impossible to do anything with the lockdown though. I've no chance of getting the N, H or F that I want. I don't like the thought of SN - even if I could get it.
To cut to the chase, is suspension hanging really that bad? I've seen reports that it could take 45 minutes. I saw another that said 1 minute. I'm over 90kg , 210lbs. That's a lot of force. My wife has to go out on Monday to the pharmacy. That's at least a half an hour . I know once I feel that suffocating inability to breath I'll back out though. I'd have to find some way to exclude any possibility of getting a foothold. My hanging place would be from the attic into the corridor below it. There's a hatch in the ceiling and lots of places to tie a long, sturdy rope-like dog lead. There'sa foldable ladder/staircase thing which can be pushed up out of the way. Yep/f#ck it - I'm stuffed. I'd love to have a double barrelled shotgun. In the mouth - both barrels - bang!
 
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Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,939
I can't advise you on anything regarding hanging since I'm not an expert in that method, but perhaps there may be some words of wisdom in the megathread related to it.

I feel you regarding the Helium. I had hoped that would be my method two years ago, but learned that what's available in stores is now so diluted, and that the setup for the flow regulation can be tricky to accomplish. I've settled on SN myself. Could you share why you're hesitant about it?
 
J

johntee23

Member
Jan 31, 2021
33
I am very squeamish about CTB In general I'm only doing it because I have a terminal illness that will lead to disability and death in the near future. It really saddens me to see healthy young people on here with what look like solvable problems who are opting out. I'd beg them all to reconsider.
As to your original question, SN looks like it could fail if the antiemetics didn't do their job. Half doing this job is the biggest danger.
 
abruptum

abruptum

Lost
Jan 10, 2021
167
I know its gonna sound weird but I was testing out some meathods of self choking and truthfully because I was so at peace with death there wasnt any pain or struggle it was oddly euphoric, only getting to my last couple breaths for air did I realize it was neither the time not the pace for me to ctb. Anyways I know everyone is different but I just hope you have a peaceful decision whatever it may be
 

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