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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
6,214
Selfishness and suicide is often seen from different sides. Sometimes the person who commits suicide is called selfish. Because he leaves his family, friends, animals (?) and in general loved ones behind. Often a train suicide is called selfish because it can be traumatizing for the train driver.
I have read in this forum that they feel that their parents are selfish when we openly talk about suicide. They absolutely don't want that their children die before them. I think this is only a natural impulse.

This leads to another question. Is true love selfish? Can't we let someone go even if we know it is better for them. I think in fact there is often a discrepancy about this evaluation. Many people don't talk openly about their suicidality with parents/loved ones due to several reasons. Almost no parent will make a compromise concerning this topic. For example my dad told me if I try to apply for assisted suicide he will stop giving me money. I am very sure I could never persuade him. In this case I see it as selfish. Due to the fact that he would never make a compromise. There are situations when a suicide can be a rational decision.
Another reason why people don't open up about suicidality is the stigma or the fear of being locked up in the psych ward. I read it very often on here. I think it is not always necessary at least this is my experience. But I respect that there are also other stories which I read.

Many people on this forum have committed suicide lately. Am I allowed to have this thought I would have preferred you would have stayed here? On the other side who am I? I barely know another person on here. I avoid deep friendships. But if I had one it would be a huge struggle for me. Suicide can be so horrible. For the person who commits suicide and the loved ones. I try to speak openly with friends and family about my wish. I try to prepare them. Though my parents seem to be treatment resistant (ironically like my suicidality). My friends are also scared to be traumatized about my suicide even despite the fact I have warned them. One of my friends suffers depression from himself and cannot cope when I openly talk about my suicide. I avoid it since he told me that.

I think it always depends to the ethics of an individual person to make this judgement. Many people who commit suicide feel guilty to leave loved ones behind. This is a consideration everyone has to do for him or herself. I try a lot to avoid committing suicide. But personally I think my freedom to end my pain is a higher good than eventually traumatize someone. This can be seen as selfish. I even met a dude in clinic who was a complete wreck because his gf committed suicide 20 years ago. This dude was really mentally fucked. However there might have been other reasons which I don't know.
I really hate it when people tried to guilt-trip me for wanting to commit suicide. These people are often really ignorant. Moreover these people would probably don't give a fuck when I killed myself.

What are your thoughts on it?
 
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Feeding Pigeons

Feeding Pigeons

Warlock
Aug 5, 2021
776
Am I allowed to have this thought I would have preferred you would have stayed here? On the other side who am I?
A human with emotions? It isn't wrong to want the people you love to live on, even if for selfish reasons. Now actively stopping them if they really need to is a different thing, but expressing it? I don't see anything wrong with that. Hell, I think its important to know someone loves you that much. Love is wild, and has many different faces. You could throw around some qualifications of what makes love true but its all incredibly subjective.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,947
I do believe that it is selfish expecting someone to suffer against their wishes as they are just thinking of themselves rather than what is best for the person. Many people do not seem to respect the right to die. I know it can be painful for family members losing someone, but to me it is horrifying when suicide attempts are stopped, as they are just prolonging that persons suffering and going against their wishes. To me there is nothing selfish about actually ctb as we all have the right to exit at a time of our own choosing, it is our life and our decision.
 
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Sanva

Sanva

:/
Dec 10, 2021
261
it's not selfish wanting someone to live on, but imo demanding it is. a lot of non-suicidal people assume that being suicidal is just temporary, that suicidal people just aren't thinking straight and will be okay again in the future when for some people this just isn't true. people having to grieve the loss of a loved one is terrible but to me, it's preferrable to having to suffer for decades. My family will move on but I would have to suffer for the rest of my life
 
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W

WishfulThinker

Member
Feb 5, 2022
11
It is selfish, but here's the thing… all humans are selfish!

It's selfish to ctb, there is always someone out there that will be affected by it - and it's selfish to give them pain as a result. It's selfish to want someone suffering to live just so we don't have that pain.

We are all selfish creatures. All human beings are selfish.
 
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fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
It is selfish, but here's the thing… all humans are selfish!
Yeah we would hate to see our offspring killed as nature conditioned us to be like this. It is specifically not ok to ctb because there is this bond between family members. I mean love is love I guess. Human love is only reserved for family and mates.

But we ask that because we feel guilty about our decisions and our will to leave this place. I believe some people want apocalypse because they don't want to be in charge of their death and destiny. But we must understand that our lives are ours and ours only. I am owner of my body and my time.

We bargain and negotiate with our life to try to feel what is our tipping point. How much can we suffer, for how long, will It get better, what If It won't. We calculate how much suffering can we take and how will It repay later for our sin of living this planet to early. The longer we survive, more suffering we can take, the less of sinners we feel. Because It is noble to suffer for other people, so they say.

It is us who place judgment on ourselves and only we can either sentence ourselves to eternal damnation or give ourselves an absolution.
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,883
Demanding someone else to do anything is selfish.
 
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S

SuicidallyCurious

Enlightened
Dec 20, 2020
1,715
You wrote about a guy that the love interest CTB 20 years ago. That sounds really bad but think about the alternate universe timeline where it didn't happen:

They most likely would eventually end up in a sexless marriage , divorce , and CTB anyway :(
 
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fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
You wrote about a guy that the love interest CTB 20 years ago. That sounds really bad but think about the alternate universe timeline where it didn't happen:

They most likely would eventually end up in a sexless marriage , divorce , and CTB anyway :(
sexless marriage is hell. Imagine having kid in that marriage and having to destroy his life when you ctb...
 
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demuic

demuic

Life was a mistake
Sep 12, 2020
1,383
there is always someone out there that will be affected by it
Not necessarily. There are people who are completely alone.


Selfishness is mostly just flung about in order to try and get people not to CTB. There are many people who live selfishly their entire life without concerning themselves with anyone else, but will point the figure and call someone else selfish for wanting to CTB. It's mostly irrelevant to me for that reason.

It is true that all humans are selfish and there is only the case of things that are more selfish or less selfish. To me, it can be considered more selfish to keep someone who is suffering alive because of how it would affect someone else. Can it be said the pain of grief or aftereffects from someone's passing would be greater than or equivalent to the pain that the suicidal is enduring in life in all cases? I don't think so. If both pains were equivalent in intensity, than the suicidal's own autonomy overrides. No one asked to be born.

The only time where things differ is in the case of someone with dependant children who wants to CTB. They brought them into this world unnecessarily, they have a duty to them and should ensure at least that they will be supported in some way after their passing and not merely left to the wolves.
 
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Of The Universe

Of The Universe

Specialist
Dec 31, 2021
382
Were I in a situation of one I loved wanting ctb,I would do everything I could to stop them.
 
S

SuicidallyCurious

Enlightened
Dec 20, 2020
1,715
It sounds like making a lot of woman really unhappy. I think so at least
Yeh I'm mostly joking but I am curious about their way of life with respect to that
 
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nolongerhuman

nolongerhuman

Arcanist
Feb 9, 2021
497
Yes but it's such an automatic human impulse that I don't blame anybody for it
 
Sprite_Geist

Sprite_Geist

NULL
May 27, 2020
1,678
It's selfish to ctb, there is always someone out there that will be affected by it - and it's selfish to give them pain as a result. It's selfish to want someone suffering to live just so we don't have that pain.
How exactly is a suicidal person "giving" somebody else pain? I would argue that they are feeling pain as a response to a suicide.
 
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