L
lionetta12
Just a random person
- Aug 5, 2022
- 1,147
I'm not sure what the «right» answer to this question would be. It's a very complex topic with several possible issues and outcomes depending on the circumstances of the situation, the people involved, etc. I assume most people would say and think that CTB when you have kids is an awful thing to do due to the potentional trauma you might put them through and since they might feel abandoned by a parent when you're gone.i have this battle with guilt everyday. I love my children so much yet im struggling everyday with suicidal thoughts. I feel guilty for wanting to leave them but also guilty for staying. Cant go on much longer
I've had thoughts about CTB since I was 11 and I'm now in my mid 20s. I still have these thoughts no matter what happens in my life it seems. I had a pregnancy and chose to end it due to various of reasons, but the main reason was that I was pretty sure that the dad would CTB if I had the kid even though he said he wanted me to keep it. People always say «people change when they have kids» but that's not always true and there's no guarantee for that. Some get more suicidal than they already were when they have a child, while some finally feel like they have a purpose or something to live for. I didn't want to take that risk and I didn't want to potentionally traumatize my own kid in the future and explain to them that they don't have a dad anymore suddenly and why. My dad got kicked out by my mom when I was a toddler and I didn't know where he was or if he was alive, that was pretty devastating for me to experience and nobody would tell me anything. I can't imagine doing that same thing to my own child and for them to go through anything similar to that. I wouldn't be able to handle such a situation mentally and I'd blame myself for it and feel overwhelmed by the guilt.