Discussion Is it rational to care about what others think of you after you die?

[killedbypsychiatry]

I worry too much about who is going to see my body after I'm death, about what my ex friends and family are going to think about me dying by suicide, etc etc

Do you think it's irrational to worry so much about what others think of you after you die?

 

[Breakout92]

I don't think it's rational, but humans aren't as rational as we pretend we are. so it's okay to care about those things. I care a lot about how I'm going to look after I die. I want to be sure that it's a police officer or first responder who sees my body first rather than a family member. I have enough money to pay for my cremation and cleanup costs. stuff like that. It won't matter after I'm gone but while I'm still here it's important to me. I'm also leaving letters to try to influence how friends and family think of me and my choice.

 

[booray]

No, I think it's perfectly rational.

 

[esoterispeec]

Idk if it's rational or not but I do this all the time. For this reason I don't want a ceremony or funeral

 

[Inkling]

Measuring the consequences of your actions is a perfectly reasonable thing to do, the world doesn't stop spinning just because we're dead. The way people see us matters to us while we're alive so it makes sense anyone would worry about this even while picturing a post-death scenario.

 

[signifying nothing]

I worry too much about who is going to see my body after I'm death, about what my ex friends and family are going to think about me dying by suicide, etc etc

Do you think it's irrational to worry so much about what others think of you after you die?

I think it says a lot about what is important to you in life and your relationship with yourself (eg self worth) and your relationship with others. If it were me I would be exploring the feelings that these kinds of thoughts evoke.

 

[Bensharp]

It is not irrational especially if you have a loving family and society still looks down at suicide.

 

[contemplatingjaahil]

Its irrational but I worry.

 

[Unlucked]

I worry too much about who is going to see my body after I'm death, about what my ex friends and family are going to think about me dying by suicide, etc etc

Do you think it's irrational to worry so much about what others think of you after you die?

I don't think it's irrational, I think it's totally valid to worry about those sorts of opinions from others, especially if you want to be remembered a certain way after you are gone, which is why people leave behind legacies. If you do CBT you may want to give your family members some nice memories of you and/or deliberate on what your note will be, it'll affect their outlook in the long run.

 

[W’ren]

I think it's rational to worry-
I'm just not sure how much good it does you to concern yourself overly with it.

There are ways you can leave a positive memory of yourself for those left behind-

Ultimately though, i know in my case specifically it's a lost cause to worry since i can't affect how others think and feel once i have CTB.
If others want to be angry or think badly of me for it then that says more about them than it does about me- i will leave an explanatory letter, and a detailed will- and i will try to do my best in both to address all possible issues that could arise following my suicide.
It matters more what i do now, while i'm alive- that will be what affects others' points of view about me when i'm gone.
That is my belief... does that make sense? So i try to be a good person by others now. Sadly all i do is screw up...

 

[muffin222]

No, it's not rational. But, we're human beings- little of what we think or do or feel is rational, nor does it really need to be.

 

[ClairyFairy]

I'm not sure if it's rational but it is a usual thought for most people to wonder. I try not to do it because I don't care, I'll be dead. They all think what they like already

 

[Some1's_Wasted_Fetus]

I often go back and forth with this in my head. It's going to be traumatic. Your friends and family will see your corpse at some point. Whether you take your life in a place where they will readily find you or in the wilderness or hotel, a stranger will eventually find you. One way or another someone is going to be traumatized by your lifelessness. It's the only way I see it. I'd prefer for it to be a random stranger I don't know but sometimes I wish I could just take my life in the comforts of my room. I'm afraid I'd permanently scar my friends for the rest of their life though so I wish I could find a place in the wilderness to do it. At the same time, once you're gone you're gone. Assuming you don't go to an afterlife where you can look down and observe what your family and friends are doing, it's irrational to worry about something you won't even be aware to worry about once you've CTB'd

 

[bad luck]

You are a human being. It is normal for us to worry about the people around us. I worry about them too, and that's probably why I'm still here.

 

[BandAddict]

Humans are irrational creatures. But I understand, I worry about this too. I'm so self-conscious about it, like will I look stupid? Lol

I think it's a normal concern to have for a living person. It's normal to worry about how we're going to affect others or how we'll be perceived. I think about it a lot. However, the worry might be irrational because it's something you likely won't experience.

 

[FreeAngel]

I have a friend who would be very sad if I died, but she knows what it's like to live with suicidal thoughts

 

[whitefeather]

I worry too much about who is going to see my body after I'm death, about what my ex friends and family are going to think about me dying by suicide, etc etc

Do you think it's irrational to worry so much about what others think of you after you die?

Tibetan Book of the Dead specifies at least 5 days after death with NOBODY around the body as being necessary for a clean journey !

 

[bad luck]

Tibetan Book of the Dead specifies at least 5 days after death with NOBODY around the body as being necessary for a clean journey !

Wasn't it 49? I read once that it takes 49 until the soul, whether it exists or not, reincarnates. It's funny because it's just the time a fetus develops its nervous system.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

No fucks given , yeah it's irrational (but that doesn't mean shit).

 

[929er]

lol i every time I've tried to ctb I've dressed and done my make up to look as best as possible. even while preparing for death i have the worry that people will think i looked gross, although i know my looks will be the last thing they'll be thinking about when they find me dead. my ego doesn't want them to remember me looking like trash like i almost always do.

 

[Wandering_Fox]

Personally me, I would never want someone to find my brains blown all over the wall. But I also don't care about matching clothes and stuff like that. Preferably yes I would rather someone find me before my body starts rotting.

 

[Railiah P]

I worry too much about who is going to see my body after I'm death, about what my ex friends and family are going to think about me dying by suicide, etc etc

Do you think it's irrational to worry so much about what others think of you after you die?

I worry about the same thing. On one hand I hope death will bring me peace and I won't be lingering around to see the aftermath. On the other hand I worry that I will be treated worse in death than I am in life. I worry that my husband's family will talk trash about me and convince him that he dodged a bullet. I worry that my family won't care... idk why though. None of this is really about any of them.

 

[ExistentialEntropy]

Personally I think of my body as borrowed matter. I believe with death comes the death of the ego and we let go of everything in the physical world and so have no care for this borrowed matter. It's like a costume you take off at the end of a play.

 

[S like Siren]

I often do it too, I think it is another way to torture us unnecessarily.We will be dead we will no longer exist and I hope that we will be in peace.This is what matters most

 

[DarkNearDeath]

I worry too much about who is going to see my body after I'm death, about what my ex friends and family are going to think about me dying by suicide, etc etc

Do you think it's irrational to worry so much about what others think of you after you die?

If death = void, then there's nothing to worry about, you won't even get to see the aftermath, time stops with you and the void settles in.

 

[FuneralCry]

I honestly don't see it as my problem. I will no longer be existing so I will not witness it. I believe I will be in a empty void after I leave this earth so I will not feel any emotions. There will just be nothing. I mean it is bound to cause pain to others but there is a cycle of pain, to end mine it will inflict it on others. But that is just the nature of life.
Once the desire to end your own suffering increases you no longer think about others as much. It is rational to care about others, it can be seen as part of our survival instinct really.

 

[TheBlackSwordsman]

Some would argue that none of this is rational.

 

[Isisnefert]

I Told my parents about ctb and one of their reasons for not doing it was the opinion of the neighboodhood about Me if I finally ctb
I Want everyone forget me forever, then, my soul will rest in peace

 

[poisonedminds]

i think it is normal to want to be remembered a certain way, because the only part of you that doesnt die are the memories your loved ones will keep of you.