is it normal to not want to get better?

[Verklempt]

i could go out and get some real help but another side of me don't want to. i don't have the energy nor motivation to get better, it's kinda like i given up.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Sounds like apathy at least if you don´t have any hopes, dreams or passions then you have no drive to get better then why bother?

 

[SlackJim]

been there for sure, recovery is like the unknown, it's much easier to stick with what you know.
makes me think of this song..

 

[MysticPerception]

I'd say it's a pretty normal feeling to have at least. I could easily go out and get some help right now, I even have the money to and I could go see a doctor or therapist but I don't want to either. In the end it's your choice to make, there's no reason to force yourself to 'get help' if you don't want to or feel the need to. If you think however that getting help might actually make things turn around for the better I would recommend at least trying before giving up. It's okay if you just want to give up though. Giving up can be surprisingly comfy and reassuring knowing you just need to get out and don't have to jump through annoying hoops to try and fix your life or your outlook.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

For me I have tried to get better so many times. When I actually make progress things come crashing down again worse than before and it gets more and more disheartening each time. I have just personally given up...why bother when things will every single time inevitably get worse.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I just want to turn everything off. I don't want to get better because I know I will never fully heal even at best outcome and life will be a struggle. I don't want no more. I am broken.

 

[LMLN]

I am trying to get help but maybe it's not working because I'm too weak to work hard on it. Everyone says it takes hard work and determination. I'm just too tired. I guess I've given up and it's my fault.
I guess the pain is so bad and unrelenting I feel like I dont have what it takes to fight anymore.

 

[noctiva]

I think that sums it up for me. I would like to get better. But I can't see it happening. I feel weak and broken. And I'm so tired of it all.

 

[Despondent]

You're not alone. Same here :/

 

[TAW122]

I think it's normal, especially when one realizes that their situation is beyond salvageable. I don't see giving up as wrong or anything as no one is obligated to keep fighting and surviving in this hellish world (with very few exceptions).

 

[WaitingAround2Die]

It's not normal, but if you've given up it makes sense.

I recovered before but some how I don't have the heart to do it again.

And everything is so broken this time I don't think I want to.

 

[Tearygirl]

I don't want to get better either. I don't deserve it. I know I should die.

 

[Rushon]

That is me most of the time, but I am in a special kind of hell in that I will have a few positive days and get my hopes up for the future and then reality hits. I can't take this rollar coaster.

 

[Deleted member 13412]

kinda same... although my personal better is non existence tbh ;;

 

[OneBigBlur]

I think that's a lie that normal people often spout to people like us. "Getting better" is often not possible and only the person experiencing their own life can decide if their quality of life is going to stay that way whether they struggle or not. The problem isn't even it getting better, it's about my life actually being good and that's not a realistic possibility, at least not for me.

 

[Shero]

I knew a girl who really tried her best to turn things around. Tried every medication and all types of therapies. She was really brave, kindhearted and the most beautiful person i have ever met. You saw her struggling and desperately pushing forward, but there was nothing to minimize the suffering. Sometimes, like physical illnesses, there is no relief, no recovery. She died two years ago.
What i want to say is, im in her position, i can't take it anymore. My tolerance limit has long been exceeded.
The thought of seeing her and the deceased people dearest to my heart, pulls me more and more away from the living. No matter what lies in death, the possibility is what attracts me.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

It's not that I don't want... I can't get better.

 

[Moonicide]

It's normal, especially when you are entirely consumed by darkness. Not only that, but it's all you know... Getting better is scary, because that is something foreign. We don't know what to expect. It's uncomfortable... But if there is an opportunity to get better, if you haven't exhausted all options yet, then perhaps it's something to reconsider before the decision to ctb becomes reality. Make sure there are no 'What Ifs' haunting you or your thoughts when you decide to cross to the other side, because it will make things much more peaceful.

Sending you all of my love and support.

 

[k75]

I think it's common. But it's not a real feeling. Depression causes apathy. That's why you feel that way. It can come in many forms, too.

Over the summer, I stupidly stopped all of my meds. First I just honestly forgot a few doses, but then I decided to stop altogether because I wanted to see how bad I really felt. Turns out, the answer was really, really fucking bad. So bad, that once I realized that, I couldn't be bothered to start them again. Even though I knew it will probably help.

I thought about it all the time, but I just got more and more depressed and more determined to not take them. And my suicidal urges went in the overdrive, and I quit wanting to take the meds because I knew they would make me feel better and less likely to hurt myself. I didn't like feeling that way, but it felt like a way to meet my goal of dying. So it's kind of like I didn't like it but I liked it.

A wonderful friend I met on here helped pull me out of that hole, but it was hard.

 

[realjunes]

It's normal, especially when you are entirely consumed by darkness. Not only that, but it's all you know... Getting better is scary, because that is something foreign. We don't know what to expect. It's uncomfortable... But if there is an opportunity to get better, if you haven't exhausted all options yet, then perhaps it's something to reconsider before the decision to ctb becomes reality. Make sure there are no 'What Ifs' haunting you or your thoughts when you decide to cross to the other side, because it will make things much more peaceful.

Sending you all of my love and support.

Lovely, Moonicide. Thank you.

I am trying to get help but maybe it's not working because I'm too weak to work hard on it. Everyone says it takes hard work and determination. I'm just too tired. I guess I've given up and it's my fault.
I guess the pain is so bad and unrelenting I feel like I dont have what it takes to fight anymore.

LMLN, my friend.
Nothing you speak of, is "your fault." Try to dismiss that notion, what everything is, just is, and I understand and feel your sense of loss, and get your sentiments entirely. I am thinking of you.