is it just me who has no SI

[Spiral]

Yesterday I was reading about 2 separate people who survived jumping from Golden Gate Bridge, a man and a woman. The man said that as soon as he jumped from the railing he changed his mind and wanted to live. Will to live
The woman said as soon as she jumped she was very relaxed and fell, knowing she was ready to go, she felt peace as she plummeted towards the water. She survived impact though and not until she realized she wasn't dead did she think ''I don't want to drown'' (not the same as I don't want to die) she was out of her mind when she jumped though because her medication dose was wrong.

So it's different for different people, but I agree with muffin that its natural to hope against hope for the tiniest chance of a better future, even when we know its bs. At the moment before ctb it's very hard to be rational.

 

[262653]

It's possible to achieve a state of zero SI. It would help to be in a psychosis or in severe mental breakdown.
Unfortunately I do not know how to replicate the desired mental state of either.
I've had both before and at that time if I had a good method I wouldn't be here anymore.

I feel like I still don't understand what psychosis is about, and how it helps to weaken SI.

Common sense tells me that, if danger to self-preservation is not percieved, then SI doesn't kick in. It can be demonstrated by imagining walking through a natural clearing where no one is around, and then imagining the same glade filled with landmines.

If one could reach a state where the danger to self-preservation is near but not percieved...

 

[untimelydemise]

I feel like I still don't understand what psychosis is about, and how it helps to weaken SI.

Common sense tells me that, if danger to self-preservation is not percieved, then SI doesn't kick in. It can be demonstrated by imagining walking through a natural clearing where no one is around, and then imagining the same glade filled with landmines.

If one could reach a state where the danger to self-preservation is near but not percieved...

i dont have psycosis as such but my bpd and asd put me out of touch of reality but when im in the state you either dont feel rral and as such your not losing a life or your soo preoccupief with the danger of others that its a mercy to kill yourself bc what they want to do is worse or its like self protection

 

[StateOfMind]

I feel like I still don't understand what psychosis is about, and how it helps to weaken SI.

Common sense tells me that, if danger to self-preservation is not percieved, then SI doesn't kick in. It can be demonstrated by imagining walking through a natural clearing where no one is around, and then imagining the same glade filled with landmines.

If one could reach a state where the danger to self-preservation is near but not percieved...

SSRI Stories – Antidepressant Nightmares

Antidepressant Nightmares

ssristories.org

I'm talking about artificially induced psychosis via SSRI's + alcohol + cannabis. When I cut my carotid I made it through all the layers of skin some flesh and the artery, felt no pain. I wish I could replicate that state of mind in a more controlled manner.
Problem with that is if you have a good method and completely loose your mind you may not be able to execute it properly.
I guess its best with just some alcohol and the rest you have to compensate with sheer willpower and determination.

 

[BandAddict]

ctb is catch the bus.

I totally thought it was "cease to breathe" lol

I guess it means the same thing.

 

[muffin222]

Thanks for asking. My first guess would be emotions. I felt strongly emotional prior to every suicide attempt I had. I felt strongly emotional (after recieving insult from the person whom I deeply admired) before I started working out for the first time. I felt strongly emotional before approaching people I really like.

The common denominator seems evident to me. I feel strongly emotional every time before I intentionally do something I wouldn't normally do, something I would be very afraid to do, something risky, something that requires a huge deal of effort that I'm normally not putting in, or something that puts me into a vulnerable position.

What I felt before my attempts was usually envy for those who appear to be more fortunate than me, and indignation from being treated unfairly by the universe. Exiting would be an act of defiance, saying no to a game that seems to be rigged against me (I'm fine with games being rigged in my favor).

It could be that other people attempt suicide driven by different emotions, like grief (loss of a loved one), shame (humiliation, status/reputation loss), guilt (feeling a burden to others? I don't get to experience guilt much, maybe I'm good at rationalizing my offenses), or fear (impending homelessness or prison).

So in my current eyes, there is this mighty SI, and there are emotions which have the potential to temporarily overwrite SI. People who believe in good afterlife (like heaven) can be driven to die by positive emotions. I believe that my life experience will end and nothing good will come out of it (nothing bad either), so it is likely I that I can only be driven to suicide by negative emotions, or by trying to avoid unpleasant things in life. (Even If there is an afterlife, I'm not sure if its quality (good-bad scale) is affected by anything I do in this life, and even if it is affected by my acts, then I don't see how can I possibly know which acts will make my afterlife more or less desirable.)



That sounds plausible for me too. For now I see SI as similar to emotions in the driving force but it always has the same direction, which is to keep the organism alive. It feels much faster and more basic though. It is the force of similar nature to the one that makes my eyes blink whenever the drips of water spring into my face, or to the one responsible for maintaining body temperature, respiration, sexual arousal, and other basic things.

This is really interesting, thank you for sharing! I actually agree with you that emotions are one of the main driving forces behind staying alive vs overriding that drive to live in order to suicide. I've never thought about emotions as being a driving force, but it makes sense.

I definitely believe that all emotions serve a purpose, and if the most basic biological purpose of our existence is to survive and procreate, then your theory makes a lot of sense. For me, it's definitely grief and despair that drives me towards wanting to die, and then hope and curiosity jump in and push me back towards living again.

I suppose that when a person's anguish and their unbearable pain surpasses a certain point, the SI can be overpowered temporarily to create a window of time for the person to attempt suicide. I can definitely see that