Discussion Is it bad I have thoughts of wanting to ctb because I can't get a girlfriend?

[sadgirl2002]

Thanks so much! I really appreciate it!

You're welcome!

 

[1kev]

You'll benefit greatly from the gym. Find a high volume routine and stick with it. Your confidence will skyrocket and you will have less anxiety and be able to socialize properly.

 

[Retard]

Being completely honest I don't love myself which is why I want to do myself in. I hate the fact I'm some quiet guy who is quite awkward socially and suck at making friends. My math grade is terrible also and its something I need to pass before the end of this year as I finish college, and I'll be looking for an apprenticeship. I hate being alone and not having many people to talk to. But what drives me up the wall and insane you could say, is the fact I can't do anything to fix it. Because people say just go out and socialize and meet people. Man I wish it was that easy otherwise I'd have done it loads. I suppose there is gym that would be a good option though. As I am a very slim dude. But yeah nowadays if you try to talk to someone you don't know in my area they'll look at you as some weirdo, like I don't know you why you talking to me etc...

I used to be very slim like yourself (8.5 stone at 6'), but after years of going to the gym I'm currently 15 stone 10 lbs now. It does help with confidence to an extent in my experience, however it made me obsess over getting bigger and wanting to lift heavier and heavier weights which isn't really healthy (also diagnosed with autism, hence the specialisation). Feel free to message me if you want any diet or exercise advice though.
In terms of social life, I'm afraid I don't have any useful suggestions as I'm in a similar boat to yourself except I'm 27. I've tried meetup groups and dating sites, classes at the gym, etc, but have never had much luck with any of them; the only long-term relationship I've had was with someone I met through work. That was at 22 so there's still time for you
Much love to you and all the very best

 

[terry_a_davis]

Hi all,

I'll start off by saying I'm a 19 year old male and for around 2 years now I've had this on and off depression. I've had thoughts of suicide quite a lot because I tell myself there's no chance I can ever settle down and I'd rather die then be alone my whole life. I understand that nobody owes you anything, but for some reason seeing others go by and not really take any notice of me, pains me. As I don't really have many friends or people to talk to and do stuff with. The one's I do have are very busy with their day to day lives etc...I get that nothing is certain because everything is coincidental, but wanted to hear some people's thoughts out of curiosity. I am fairly new to this forum, but I've seen that there's some really lovely people on here.

There's quite a few 'gym' suggestions coming your way i see. I posted this earlier but i just want to emphasize how beneficial working out can be. I had a good 18 to early 30's because of the gym.

Going to a gym as a newb can be daunting and at first you'll feel self conscious, you have to learn the exercises, and won't talk to anyone. But stick with it a while and your face will become familiar and people will start exchanging friendly hello's and eventually progress on to brief chats. Newbs aren't looked down on in the gym as everyone was in your place at one time. You'll find a few in there are people like yourself with low self esteem and social anxieties (I was). You get the occasional not so nice person but they're rare.

It is hard work but take it one workout at a time and it isn't so daunting. You will need to train for 12-18 months minimum to get into shape (i'm assuming you're normal build) and eat well too. You don't need to become the next hulk. A couple of stone of extra muscle and being lean is ideal and attainable. It might be a sad aspect of life but the fact is for many physical attraction is the most important factor in attracting a partner. It won't change your face much but your jaw and cheekbones will become more defined if you get your bodyfat low.

If the gym really doesn't appeal then there's other ways of getting into shape as has been suggested which might suit you. I think the gym is the best though if your prime goal is to get buff to attract a partner.

 

[BlackPoppet]

Hi all,

I'll start off by saying I'm a 19 year old male and for around 2 years now I've had this on and off depression. I've had thoughts of suicide quite a lot because I tell myself there's no chance I can ever settle down and I'd rather die then be alone my whole life. I understand that nobody owes you anything, but for some reason seeing others go by and not really take any notice of me, pains me. As I don't really have many friends or people to talk to and do stuff with. The one's I do have are very busy with their day to day lives etc...I get that nothing is certain because everything is coincidental, but wanted to hear some people's thoughts out of curiosity. I am fairly new to this forum, but I've seen that there's some really lovely people on here.

Hugs from me to you

 

[Lastravel]

Dating apps should be baned it ruins relationships. If you're a girl you just have to go on tinder and you have a bunch of possiblities even if you're not good looking.

On the other hand for a guy, even normal it's hard to find a partner on these apps.

It may change a little depending on your location.

Tried the gym thing and it didn't skyrocket my confidence (I guess it didn't change my face lol), but I guess every people is different. Tried escort girl too about 20 times and over the time it depressed me even more. I've lost interest on dating women.

 

[Mr. ‘K so?]

Tried the gym thing and it didn't skyrocket my confidence (I guess it didn't change my face lol), but I guess every people is different.

You ever thought of kendo? You wear protective bad ass masks and you can use the 'I fuck with real sword kendo' and make people think you're for really reals

 

[BlackPoppet]

Yeah, read that post of yours. Fwiw, I think acceptance of one's circumstances is a necesary step towards making peace with oneself, this will improve one's outwards appearance and from there anything can happen. Sometimes pleasantly surprising. Might also disillusion oneself of course, but still better than grinding away at oneself with unfulfilled desires and expectations. Btw, I'm 42, so you should still have some years left in you to find happiness, I hope.

:-)

My mother who I have a really good relationship with, I feel like I can't talk to her now about this because she starts insisting its off to the doctors for some meds then. But I'm scared to take them in case they f*ck me up if I dont for whatever reason have depression, which sounds mad in itself. It sounds crazy because I think about wanting to do myself in, yet the idea of antidepressants scare me. I honestly don't know anymore....

Hugs from me to you. I'm here for you if you ever need a friendly ear

 

[Lastravel]

You ever thought of kendo? You wear protective bad ass masks and you can use the 'I fuck with real sword kendo' and make people think you're for really reals

The thread is about getting a grilfriend bro. Appreciate your help but honestly I would rather change my genetic all the way than doing any effort now. But I'm not OP and it's his thread.

 

[Marchioness]

A few people have mentioned to me they think I'm a decent looking guy. I dress smart, I'm really into vintage typically things related with 1950s America. I like to always have my hair done up and that.
.
Thought about local swing dancing events? There's always a ton of gals and not enough guys. I think you'd fit right in. Also dancing is great for confidence building and it's consensual non-sexual touch.
.
Just my opinion but I dislike online dating, I'd rather meet people in person. All I've ever gotten in the past in the very, very short amount of time I decided to try it was just saying different things they wanted to do to me. Disgusting.

 

[Suez]

Hi all,

I'll start off by saying I'm a 19 year old male and for around 2 years now I've had this on and off depression. I've had thoughts of suicide quite a lot because I tell myself there's no chance I can ever settle down and I'd rather die then be alone my whole life. I understand that nobody owes you anything, but for some reason seeing others go by and not really take any notice of me, pains me. As I don't really have many friends or people to talk to and do stuff with. The one's I do have are very busy with their day to day lives etc...I get that nothing is certain because everything is coincidental, but wanted to hear some people's thoughts out of curiosity. I am fairly new to this forum, but I've seen that there's some really lovely people on here.

Wow, your 19 yrs old hun, your just starting out. Please believe me, this is just the beginning for you. If you were asking about why you were unable to get in a relationship and you were in your 40s for instance then we would be talking about something very different. I didnt get into my first relationship until i was 28yrs old. I was barely ready when i was 28. To be really ready for a relationship you need to know yourself, be comfortable with who you are and that takes time. Take time to learn how to be a good person. Start by just developing relationships with people in general. You often develop relationships from simple aquaintences, people you just meet through, university, work, sports etc Learn how to be a good friend to someone, learn how to empathise, go out and experience life. Doing these things will draw people to you. People like, confidence, self assuredness, strength etc If you spend more time learning how to be a good person, things like relationships will fall into place. People notice others who are just genuinely good people. If you focus on that then the relationship stuff will come to you easily and it will come when your ready for it. Dont rush it. You dont need to, believe me, youve got plenty of time.

 

[KiraComplex]

My daughter is pretty much the only reason I haven't yet.

Not here to dictate anything, but please stay for your daughter
It may be their reason to ctb