is help worth it?

[hybridtheory]

Hello. I haven't posted in awhile. I was TDO'd by my therapist on February 11th and spent some time inpatient. I was pissed because I was going to ctb on February 14th. Since then, I quit my job and I'm slowly running out of money. Which kinda provides motivation to get tf out of here for good.

Though right now, I was considering checking myself into a treatment center but they don't have any beds available at the moment. I'm on the edge of wanting to try to ctb once and for all since my previous plan was interrupted, but there's a side of me that is willing to receive help. Even though every time I do receive help, it lasts for maybe a couple of years and then I'm right back to where I was. Miserable and depressed. I just don't know if it's worth going through treatment again when deep down I really don't want to be alive. I don't know what to do.

Yeah I hope everyone else is doing well.
xx

 

[Namelesa]

Its totally up to you whether you want to risk continuing life and see if you recover or just continue to suffer or risk attempting to ctb. Its awful that either option is hard to achieve when mental health help can be unreliable and peaceful methods are getting restricted. I hope you can get out of your suffering one or another as soon as possible.

 

[hybridtheory]

Its totally up to you whether you want to risk continuing life and see if you recover or just continue to suffer or risk attempting to ctb. Its awful that either option is hard to achieve when mental health help can be unreliable and peaceful methods are getting restricted. I hope you can get out of your suffering one or another as soon as possible.

Thank you so much for your feedback, I appreciate it

 

[OhWellDerp321]

I am kinda at the contemplating the same thing.

The first time you seek help. you feel relief because you think that therapy will solve all your issues.
Then after you seek help, you realize that therapy doesn't actually solve your problems. They just come up with bullshit mindfulness to try to get you to "think differently" and hope the outcome will be different.

Every time after that, it is less helpful because you realize that when your life is really fucked up, there is not much that can be done to fix your problems.

Of course, it is totally up to you if you want to seek help or not. I mean, what harm can it really do?
Is seeking help pointless? Will you end up just as depressed as before in a few years? Maybe.
But I mean whether you seek help or not I think it will be the same.
You can still quit treatment if you don't find it helpful.

The only thing I am scared of is when I go to hospitals now, I am more careful with what I say because I don't want to be hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. That's the only thing keeping me from going.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

Hello. I haven't posted in awhile. I was TDO'd by my therapist on February 11th and spent some time inpatient. I was pissed because I was going to ctb on February 14th. Since then, I quit my job and I'm slowly running out of money. Which kinda provides motivation to get tf out of here for good.

Though right now, I was considering checking myself into a treatment center but they don't have any beds available at the moment. I'm on the edge of wanting to try to ctb once and for all since my previous plan was interrupted, but there's a side of me that is willing to receive help. Even though every time I do receive help, it lasts for maybe a couple of years and then I'm right back to where I was. Miserable and depressed. I just don't know if it's worth going through treatment again when deep down I really don't want to be alive. I don't know what to do.

Yeah I hope everyone else is doing well.
xx

In my opinion and lived experience, "help" is not worth trying, particularly if a significant amount of you wanting to ctb is related to things that cannot be changed. If you're in poverty with no tools/resources/network connections/knowledge/experience to get you into opportunity and remote comfort or abundance, I DGAF what anyone says, "help" that is available is not going to change those things or your life in the vast majority of cases.

Maybe in cases of abuse, PTSD, or crimes against you, talking may make you feel better vs bottling it up however, there are no guarantees and many people say they have not gotten much from therapy or the help given to them and some like myself have had bad experiences with therapists.

Still, a fair number of others forced into hospitals say it didn't do anything but make them sadder, angrier or more determined to ctb because it did not help their actual situation, took away their autonomy, dignity and choice and made them feel like a criminal as this is what those places for "help" can often look like.

Some really unlucky people seeking or accepting "help" forced upon them are abused verbally, physically, sexually and/or financially by those tasked with the job of providing "help."

All I can say about help is that too many are not actually helped. That gives me too great a reason to avoid it. To each his own. Good luck

 

[galaxid]

I've been there a lot lately. On one hand, I'd like help. I've been asking for help for ages, going to psychs and therapists, talking to friends and asking for support, went to the ER and thus inpatient to get actual help. All I got in return was a bunch of discharges and a ton of people telling me that 'I wasn't bad enough' to get the help I said I needed. Legit got kicked out of partial hospitalization because I couldn't wake up on time. It's almost as if that's what I needed the program for or something... Also, medical bills are a killer.

If there was any hope, I'd absolutely continue the hunt. But no change in circumstances and no measure of support is going to change the way my brain works. Alas!

 

[Promised Heaven]

Getting help is worth it...sometimes.

If your reason for wanting to CTB is internal, such as depression without exterior causes, or PTSD where all the triggers are gone, therapy and sometimes certain medications do help with coping mechanisms should you want to continue living to begin with and you see hope.

External causes are different. A therapist can identify if you're hopeless due to abuse, and help you get away from it, cope, and recover. But the economy crashing, laws biased against you, and other uncontrollable causes, they can only help you to cope, if, once again, you choose it.

"Help" is also difficult because every professional is different. A good therapist can listen to your concerns, emphasize, ease you into a treatment plan you find yourself able to do, and not play trigger happy with having you hospitalized if you say something like wanting to die. If you say you want to die, they ignore it, and you CTB, the professional can get into legal trouble as they are mandatory reporters, all of them. That is why they are so quick to send you away, and what I personally believe is a major barrier stopping many suicidal people from seeking help. If the risk of being sent away is always there, less people are willing to seek help, ironically, increasing rates of suicide.

If you have a ounce of wanting to live, seeing a faint hint of a good life, help will always be an option as long as you are alive. But by CTBing, you take away the pain, yes, but you also take away the possibility of recovery. People in my own life have went from chronically suicidal to full recovery with professional help, but the same kind of help can make people feel more miserable as they feel their concerns are ignored, minimized, or even blamed on themselves.

All to say, help is a risk game. There are so many variables in play in "help" it feels like a coin flip. There's no direct answer, the choice is yours, and I implore you take this decision very seriously.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

In my opinion and lived experience, "help" is not worth trying, particularly if a significant amount of you wanting to ctb is related to things that cannot be changed. If you're in poverty with no tools/resources/network connections/knowledge/experience to get you into opportunity and remote comfort or abundance, I DGAF what anyone says, "help" that is available is not going to change those things or your life in the vast majority of cases.

Maybe in cases of abuse, PTSD, or crimes against you, talking may make you feel better vs bottling it up however, there are no guarantees and many people say they have not gotten much from therapy or the help given to them and some like myself have had bad experiences with therapists.

Still, a fair number of others forced into hospitals say it didn't do anything but make them sadder, angrier or more determined to ctb because it did not help their actual situation, took away their autonomy, dignity and choice and made them feel like a criminal as this is what those places for "help" can often look like.

Some really unlucky people seeking or accepting "help" forced upon them are abused verbally, physically, sexually and/or financially by those tasked with the job of providing "help."

All I can say about help is that too many are not actually helped. That gives me too great a reason to avoid it. To each his own. Good luck

That first line is partly why I am contemplating whether it is worth going or not. A huge part of me is leaning towards ctb.
This is why I keep saying therapy is only helpful for venting. If you truly stuck in poverty, nothing can be done to help you in therapy.
Therapy could actually be helpful if your therapist was more like an advisor. If you struggle with a career, they should be able to connect you to resources to land you a job in your career. If you struggle with finance, they should be able to offer you temporary fund to help you.
These are things that can actually give you something to relieve you temporarily.
Instead, in therapy, you vent, leave the session feeling great, then next day reality sets back in.

The involuntary hospitalization is part of my hesitation to seek for help. I want to go in voluntarily to seek help. But just because you go in voluntarily does not mean they can't change your status to involuntary and put you into a psych ward. That's highly unlikely because they most likely dont have enough space. But still, its just like its hard to trust them.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Hello. I haven't posted in awhile. I was TDO'd by my therapist on February 11th and spent some time inpatient. I was pissed because I was going to ctb on February 14th. Since then, I quit my job and I'm slowly running out of money. Which kinda provides motivation to get tf out of here for good.

Though right now, I was considering checking myself into a treatment center but they don't have any beds available at the moment. I'm on the edge of wanting to try to ctb once and for all since my previous plan was interrupted, but there's a side of me that is willing to receive help. Even though every time I do receive help, it lasts for maybe a couple of years and then I'm right back to where I was. Miserable and depressed. I just don't know if it's worth going through treatment again when deep down I really don't want to be alive. I don't know what to do.

Yeah I hope everyone else is doing well.
xx

It probably depends if you actually get help not. That's a big if. And in my experience that's a no on getting it.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

That first line is partly why I am contemplating whether it is worth going or not. A huge part of me is leaning towards ctb.
This is why I keep saying therapy is only helpful for venting. If you truly stuck in poverty, nothing can be done to help you in therapy.
Therapy could actually be helpful if your therapist was more like an advisor. If you struggle with a career, they should be able to connect you to resources to land you a job in your career. If you struggle with finance, they should be able to offer you temporary fund to help you.
These are things that can actually give you something to relieve you temporarily.
Instead, in therapy, you vent, leave the session feeling great, then next day reality sets back in.

The involuntary hospitalization is part of my hesitation to seek for help. I want to go in voluntarily to seek help. But just because you go in voluntarily does not mean they can't change your status to involuntary and put you into a psych ward. That's highly unlikely because they most likely dont have enough space. But still, its just like its hard to trust them.

Humanity shows me time and again to not trust others or have faith that things will get better. I can hope this is not the case for others but for me it's never-ending, the troubles and setbacks that come my way