Is anyone else's reason due to a combination of financial troubles and mental illness?

[14s5dex]

I've tried working many times in my life but I've never been able to for more than 3 months without either quitting or getting fired. I'm severely mentally ill, it takes all my energy just to get out of bed in the morning and when I do I'm a blur, I cannot function in my day-to-day life and because of this, I applied for disability, I was denied so I applied again, got denied again, applied once more, also denied. I was about to get a lawyer before I finally said "fuck it" and just decided I was going to end my life. I currently live with my parents who are just as fucked as I am, and they have no money that they'll be able to leave behind so my options are either homelessness or working a soul-sucking job, so I give up.

 

[couragetodie]

not exactly the same but I can relate to feeling like the future is bleak

 

[Fgogrl]

I too have been denied SS benefits. I've suffered with depression and anxiety most my life. My mom is my guardian angel. I'm terrified of when she passes and I'll be completely alone.

 

[14s5dex]

I too have been denied SS benefits. I've suffered with depression and anxiety most my life. My mom is my guardian angel. I'm terrified of when she passes and I'll be completely alone.

christ you sound exactly like me. i'm thinking of trying to get a lawyer again, maybe you should do the same? idk

 

[Bread]

I have not yet been beset by financial woes but I have no doubt that that will be me in the future. I still live with my parents due to chronic illness and am about as mentally developed as a 12 year old in relation to independence and life skills. I have no skills and I am sure that if or when I ever live by myself I will be terribly poor. I have had mental health problems most of my life and find it inconceivable that I would ever be able to support myself like a normal person.

 

[onegoodreason]

Some of my depression is financially related at this point. I have various physical issues that need money to alleviate and I don't have any. I used to be independent, though it was always tough, living pay check to pay check just to get by. Now, though, I'm completely dependent on husband and since he's gotten to hate me, he's gotten stingier with the bucks. But even his money is limited and it's dwindling bit by bit as we go on. Eventually the house will be sold, if/when he ever fixes it up as we'd planned and then he'll have more, but I'll be gone by then, when my plans work out. So when I get of here, I'll actually be saving him some money - won't he be delighted by that!! I've been asking him for a little bonus as he got some more of his inheritance the other day, but he's holding back. If I get it, I can get my N and get the hell out of here finally.

No, he wouldn't help me if he knew that's what I was going to do. Or maybe he would, I don't know anymore. Many years ago, I brought up killing myself and he got so angry, he went and got our big kitchen knife and stuck it in the table in front of me, swaying back and forth from the tip that got bent, and still is, from the force. He said "Go ahead". He was just mad, though, and didn't mean it then, pretty sure. Course I never did follow through, I was just upset about whatever was going on in that moment.

Been thinking about applying for Social Security benefits, but I suspect it will be months before I see a check from the time I apply. So it's really pointless to bother with it. Will check that out further, though, to be sure.

I've been out of the job market long enough, helping him take care of his mom for 8 years, that my skills are kaput and I'm not able to stand or sit for too long anymore. Too old for getting a decent job, I think. Who would hire a retirement age woman at this point? So I'd be looking at either a shelter or the streets in my future, and neither of those options would work for more than a day or two at most. Looking ahead, I see nothing very good or nice for me, any dreams I had are gone, all the things I used to enjoy are pointless to me now and have no interest or desire for anything except the return Home. Oh, and also making sure my furbaby, Shane, is well-looked after, so I intend to stay in spirit with him through his transition, whenever that may be. There's no time on the other side so it'll seem quick, and then we'll go on together with all my other Angel Babies to space truck through the multiverses! Can't wait! :-D

 

[TAW122]

I've tried working many times in my life but I've never been able to for more than 3 months without either quitting or getting fired. I'm severely mentally ill, it takes all my energy just to get out of bed in the morning and when I do I'm a blur, I cannot function in my day-to-day life and because of this, I applied for disability, I was denied so I applied again, got denied again, applied once more, also denied. I was about to get a lawyer before I finally said "fuck it" and just decided I was going to end my life. I currently live with my parents who are just as fucked as I am, and they have no money that they'll be able to leave behind so my options are either homelessness or working a soul-sucking job, so I give up.

Your situation is similar to mine. I too have applied for disability but apparently the gov't thinks I'm not crippled enough to qualify for them as I'm not anywhere close to retirement age, I have even less job experience (jobs that last only a few weeks at most), and I'm also pretty financially strained myself (just enough to pay for rent, eat, and little else). I'm working on getting a lawyer to fight for disability benefits though.

@onegoodreason That sounds like a really tough life and I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you been through. I hope you are able to find peace whether it is a windfall of fortune to turn your life around or to be able to succeed in your plan to ctb.

 

[onegoodreason]

Your situation is similar to mine. I too have applied for disability but apparently the gov't thinks I'm not crippled enough to qualify for them as I'm not anywhere close to retirement age, I have even less job experience (jobs that last only a few weeks at most), and I'm also pretty financially strained myself (just enough to pay for rent, eat, and little else). I'm working on getting a lawyer to fight for disability benefits though.

@onegoodreason That sounds like a really tough life and I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you been through. I hope you are able to find peace whether it is a windfall of fortune to turn your life around or to be able to succeed in your plan to ctb.

Thank you, thrw_a_way1221221. I've been working at winning some dough through PCH and Winloot, if you can believe it. It's getting really old now and I've only been playing since September. There's another big giveaway coming up at the end of February and will continue to play until then, then I'm done. When I win (being positive), I know precisely what I'm going to do with the money. Have had lots of time to dream it all up. But, of course, I can't count on it ultimately. Just keep playing the silly games and hope for the very best.

Money was always a struggle and hot topic growing up, too, so it's no surprise that theme has continued through my own life. It's so difficult when you picture your life a particular way but you need money to make it happen, and it just doesn't come. Through the years, whatever drive and motivation I may have had (and it was always sketchy at best), dried up bit by bit so now I have none at all. I just sit here trying to win sweepstakes!??!? What the hell kind of life is that??? This isn't life at all, it's just all there is for me right now. So no wonder I'm depressed and continuing on that never-ending downward spiral.

Had a bitch of a day today for some reason, very upset and angry. Feeling very alone and empty and usually alone doesn't bother me, but it seems even my spirit guides have abandoned me, and that hurts. I know it's not true, it just feels that way when I'm crying out for help and none comes to me. Gonna go cry for a while now. Peace.

 

[Misanthrope]

@thrw_a_way1221221 I'm working on getting a lawyer to fight for disability benefits though.

Is this a common occurrence over there? Do doctors learned in their field not count for anything? Sounds worse than here!

 

[Redt2go]

I've tried working many times in my life but I've never been able to for more than 3 months without either quitting or getting fired. I'm severely mentally ill, it takes all my energy just to get out of bed in the morning and when I do I'm a blur, I cannot function in my day-to-day life and because of this, I applied for disability, I was denied so I applied again, got denied again, applied once more, also denied. I was about to get a lawyer before I finally said "fuck it" and just decided I was going to end my life. I currently live with my parents who are just as fucked as I am, and they have no money that they'll be able to leave behind so my options are either homelessness or working a soul-sucking job, so I give up.

Well shit yeah I understand. My parent deals with depression too and just seeing the way depression manifests into old age I don't want to love through that. On top of depression, the financial trouble just makes me feel like I'm suffocating by life

 

[Ldog9]

Therapy and prescriptions all cost money. My parents are not wealthy and are close to retirement. I feel like I need a lot of help, so treatment would be long and expensive. if money or cost wasn't an issue, maybe id think living is worth it.

Healthcare is awful in america. Ppl talk about mental health stigma and being pro life, but when it comes down to it no one really cares.

 

[deflagrat]

As someone who expected to be rejected I was very surprised when they actually approved me for disability benefits in November 2018. I don't really need the money so I will save it in case I need it. All it took was a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia (3 doctors saying that I have it). Who knew the illness that made me so unhappy would end up making me rich. If everything keeps going the way it is going now I won't kill myself in more than 10 years from now (maybe more than 20). I know the money will eventually run out but I will always have 20 years to save up to the moment where I am homeless and alone.

 

[mattwitt]

For me it would be mostly physical and then financial.

 

[furax53]

me the trouble is that I can not manage to hold a job of the ah of very strong anxieties and yet I have graduates and I managed ah to have a disability thinking

 

[Ldog9]

Wonder how many would still want to ctb is there was universal basic income/job guarantee, universal health care, and housing was a human right.

But in that fantasy, I'd imagine right to die would also be a right.

 

[AveryConure]

Healthcare is awful in america. Ppl talk about mental health stigma and being pro life, but when it comes down to it no one really cares.

Yuuuuppp you basically hit the nail on the head with that one.

 

[AveryConure]

even if i somehow worked my ass off at my local burger king and got the usual 40 hours a week it still wouldn't be enough to buy a car, get gas for it, get an apartment and pay rent, etc. My mental health definitely doesn't help matters and I got denied SSI more than 5 times.

So it's like even if I do everything right, I'm still fucked cause this country is ass backwards and probably still will be until I'm 50 or this planet gets fucked cause of climate change before that. So it seems extremely pointless to even bother.

Tried explaining this to my therapist and of course they don't seem to get it.

 

[Made4TV]

Yes. I think disability in the US is like a trial where if they can't drive you to suicide then you aren't mentally ill and can therefore work. They see it as win-win for them.

 

[Lefty]

I've worked jobs before, but I have a hard time keeping them due to mental illness and not having the best social skills. I'm pretty worried about the future. Someone I know said I should try to find a nice girl who makes good money and can take care of me, while that sounds nice, it is a very doubtful possibility.

 

[Titania]

Mainly part of my main reasons for CTB. Luckily, we're doing okay-ish, but it'll only take not much until we are put back into the same situation where we're financially suffering a lot again. As for mental illness, of course that doesn't go away even when things are okay or good. Still feel like crap or they are one of the causes for not doing my own responsibilities. Been suffering much more of that lately while trying to fight it in addition to some new symptoms (paranoia and minor hallucinations).

 

[wishfulthinking]

beside my mental illness, i also have some physical issues and would need money to fix them.

 

[NorthAmericanQc]

Yes,

I don't have much money. I'm actually on financial social help, but it doesn't give much. And I don't have much saved.

I am depressed, a social worker and doctor is following my situation. I also got diagnosed adhd with general anxiety and BPD.. I am actually taking Vyvanse and Zoloft everyday.

I always lose interest in everything after short period of time. And give up. Same applies with jobs. I've had bad experiences in the past. I can't keep a job. After a week or two I get tired and depressed from it. And I don't feel ready to go back. Or I don't want at all.. I don't even know. I always keep telling myself that I don't want to work 40hrs/w in this society and feel like a slave.

I didn't ask for this life. Everything that seems normal to everyone else, it's hard for me, everything scare me.

I really wish I could end it painlessly and peacefully.

Edit : I also have toothache since a month and not even enough cash to go for the dentist. :(

 

[Ruffian]

I've tried working many times in my life but I've never been able to for more than 3 months without either quitting or getting fired. I'm severely mentally ill, it takes all my energy just to get out of bed in the morning and when I do I'm a blur, I cannot function in my day-to-day life and because of this, I applied for disability, I was denied so I applied again, got denied again, applied once more, also denied. I was about to get a lawyer before I finally said "fuck it" and just decided I was going to end my life. I currently live with my parents who are just as fucked as I am, and they have no money that they'll be able to leave behind so my options are either homelessness or working a soul-sucking job, so I give up.

This. I am too mentally healthy to qualify for disability, but every 7 years or so I just completely fuck up my life. Like Grounghog Day over a longer period of time. I'm in that mode right now, in fact. About to head out for the job I'm hanging onto by my teeth.

 

[SeekingSolace]

christ you sound exactly like me. i'm thinking of trying to get a lawyer again, maybe you should do the same? idk

I've applied and been denied disability three times now, the third time I had a lawyer and we went to court. I'm debating whether I will try again or not. I suffer from seizures, severe anxiety, and depression - but the state that I live in is among the most difficult to get disability approval in. The disability process has been going on since 2015. It's starting to feel hopeless.

 

[Roadkill]

yes, financial problems are the main source of my fears and anxiety

 

[311]

yes, financial problems are the main source of my fears and anxiety

where you from?

 

[Roadkill]

where you from?

Pennsylvania

 

[Final Escape]

I've tried working many times in my life but I've never been able to for more than 3 months without either quitting or getting fired. I'm severely mentally ill, it takes all my energy just to get out of bed in the morning and when I do I'm a blur, I cannot function in my day-to-day life and because of this, I applied for disability, I was denied so I applied again, got denied again, applied once more, also denied. I was about to get a lawyer before I finally said "fuck it" and just decided I was going to end my life. I currently live with my parents who are just as fucked as I am, and they have no money that they'll be able to leave behind so my options are either homelessness or working a soul-sucking job, so I give up.

I can relate, I think I could work if the job was really fun lol! We all know it's not gonna be fun most of the time at most jobs.

 

[Deivis]

Define mental illness...

Is low IQ a mental illness?
Is depression a mental illness?

To me, mental illness is hearing "voices" or having some crazy ideas and persecution mania.
But if your brain naturally can't produce or retain dopamine and other shit, it's not an illness. It's your nature, your personal trait, like a penis pointing leftwards...

 

[Redt2go]

Define mental illness...

Is low IQ a mental illness?
Is depression a mental illness?

To me, mental illness is hearing "voices" or having some crazy ideas and persecution mania.
But if your brain naturally can't produce or retain dopamine and other shit, it's not an illness. It's your nature, your personal trait, like a penis pointing leftwards...

Depression is an illness