Discussion Is anyone else postponing plans as to not ruin Christmas for others?

[undecidedfool]

I wish I could say I consistently want to die, but I unfortunately bipolar disorder does not lend itself to that. Truly it is better that I ctb, because I don't see myself having a future.
That being said, I have a plan that can be fully enacted within a day or two (requires cleaning my room first, which is the long part), so I can get it done with when I hit a low when I'm confident in my death again.
I was finally at that point today and yesterday. I was so ready, but then I realized what time of year it is. I can't do that to friends and family. Whether they actually like me or not, they'd still be losing someone close to them. Now I have to wait both until all the holidays are completely over and to be in the right headspace.
Then again, maybe I'm just making up excuses and don't really want to do it, even if it's for the best.
Anyone else have thoughts on holidays and if it's possibly a lame excuse?

 

[TheHolySword]

Not a lame excuse. If I didn't have a reason to stay until May and I had the means to, I would be struggling to not end it all right now. But I would still give all my family and friends one last holiday to remember. I wanted to make it a big special one.

 

[LostLily]

I come from a religious family and I don't want to taint the holidays for them.

 

[hereornot]

This is something I have considered. Although not for my family, for them it would be irrelevant.

But out of respect for the people around me.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I wanted to CTB a couple weeks ago but decided to wait until after the holidays.

 

[foreverlanguish]

I am. It'll probably be my last holidays with them and I don't want my family to have to deal with a good ol' dead body during the holiday season, so I'm waiting until at least after before I actually go through with CTBing.

 

[prone2fury]

Yes, I was hoping to get around to going through with partial suspension after this season was over. But someone close to me suddenly had to deal with a miscarriage today, so I'll have to delay again so as not to compound the misery. Isn't life so beautiful?

 

[Jon Arbuckle]

I wish I could say I consistently want to die, but I unfortunately bipolar disorder does not lend itself to that. Truly it is better that I ctb, because I don't see myself having a future.
That being said, I have a plan that can be fully enacted within a day or two (requires cleaning my room first, which is the long part), so I can get it done with when I hit a low when I'm confident in my death again.
I was finally at that point today and yesterday. I was so ready, but then I realized what time of year it is. I can't do that to friends and family. Whether they actually like me or not, they'd still be losing someone close to them. Now I have to wait both until all the holidays are completely over and to be in the right headspace.
Then again, maybe I'm just making up excuses and don't really want to do it, even if it's for the best.
Anyone else have thoughts on holidays and if it's possibly a lame excuse?

I wanted to be dead already, but ive just been postponing it and procrastinating on it over and over again and now its the holidays so I have to push things back even further. I want to attend a gun show in secret and buy a gum sometime in january but knowing me ill probably take until february or even march until I bother.