Venting Is anyone else getting worse ?

[Buddha.e.c]

I feel more and more ready to CTB feel more disconnected then ever before my depression and anxiety is getting worse . I cant focus its unconformable I sleep most of all day and I just cant live with this major depressive disorder anymore i can live in peace so ill die in peace. I'm gathering all my resources together and ordering my SN and a few other things very soon


life is game and I'm choosing to opt out.....

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Life is definitely a game. Too bad I realized it late. I hope you find the peace desired

 

[Buddha.e.c]

Life is definitely a game. Too bad I realized it late. I hope you find the peace desired

Peace is all I want this life is getting painful deep down inside I know I'm not meant to be on earth . I wish you the best as well ...

 

[Treeline589]

Yes things are getting worse for me as well. My depression is beating me down. Missed today from work, already called off for tomorrow as well. Hard to act like everything is okay.

 

[Toxic Positivity]

Yeah, I barely get out of bed anymore and don't talk to anyone. Getting better is too much work, so I would rather put work into the singular and decisive moment of ending my life.

 

[Buddha.e.c]

Yes things are getting worse for me as well. My depression is beating me down. Missed today from work, already called off for tomorrow as well. Hard to act like everything is okay.

Its so much when society has made you feel different and alienated forced to put up a "I'm fine" act I'm done my time is coming very soon .I'm sorry you feel this way hope it goes well for you in whatever your choice be .

Yeah, I barely get out of bed anymore and don't talk to anyone. Getting better is too much work, so I would rather put work into the singular and decisive moment of ending my life.

That can be the worse
I don't even feel like I connect with anyone IRL not experiencing true happiness is killing me rather CTB soon while I can

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, each day I am more and more tired of living. I believe that I have suffered enough at this point but one of the most horrible things about this life is, that things can always get much worse and there is no limit as to how much pain we can experience. In my case there is no escape from the feelings of dread and hopelessness. Things will never get better for me and I know that they will only get worse. Life is something I wish I never had to experience in the first place.

 

[justtiredofit]

I'm so tired too. I had finally gotten past the fear and anxiety and tried to CTB a few weeks ago, only to fail. Today I'm just so wiped and praying/begging to die, but know I have no more pills left to do it.

 

[Niirvana]

I think life is a game too and i dont want to play anymore, best wishes for u

I'm so tired too. I had finally gotten past the fear and anxiety and tried to CTB a few weeks ago, only to fail. Today I'm just so wiped and praying/begging to die, but know I have no more pills left to do it.

What pills do you mean?

 

[justtiredofit]

I think life is a game too and i dont want to play anymore, best wishes for u

What pills do you mean?

Don't think I can say, but they were a prescription cocktail.

 

[Maaizr]

definitely getting worse, my end will be swift and violent i just keep trying to think of what dying is gonna feel like, no way you can grasp it lmao veryvery numb/dissociated/whatever

 

[raghu1977]

I am actually feeling very happy / relieved. Two months ago - I was super stressed, worried. I couldnt even be motivated wnough to get out of bed and shower.

However - now that I have decided to ctb and found a viable (and reliable) method - I am a lot more relaxed and happy.

I am just going about cloaing out my affairs and having a bit of fun.

I think by the time I ctb - i will have zero stress / worry

 

[olkf]

Yeah I'm tried of having to function each day when it will not matter

 

[rehtsedead]

Life really is a very difficult game. We always have to be prepared :/

 

[Luchs]

I'm not getting worse per se but my moodswings definetly are. One day I feel great and amazing, the next I want to ctb. It is just extremely tiring.

 

[Al Cappella]

In the end we all get worse—in the middle there's a cycle of peaks and troughs. Unfortunately, with some folks the peaks are small, stumpy little fire ant hills—and the troughs bottomless, shark-filled pits. The whole thing is rather absurd, and makes no sense…

 

[rationaltake]

Me too. Got to go soon. Got the stuff I need. Got my will sorted. I'm hanging on for someone I know. But no point. It's not a life at all.

 

[Buddha.e.c]

Yes, each day I am more and more tired of living. I believe that I have suffered enough at this point but one of the most horrible things about this life is, that things can always get much worse and there is no limit as to how much pain we can experience. In my case there is no escape from the feelings of dread and hopelessness. Things will never get better for me and I know that they will only get worse. Life is something I wish I never had to experience in the first place.

I'm sorry you feel this way its true for many of us on here life is too unbearable to continue any longer. I'm slowly losing myself I can no longer can take this depression and pain ,and hopelessness. your right there is no escape ...

 

[ClownMe]

Each day as of late it seems to be getting worse for me.

 

[deleted]

For me too but I don't have the courage to kill myself I think I'll only have the courage when I lose a limb or get evicted, tired of all this

 

[Hotsackage]

Ya im completwly gone

 

[headwood]

Definitely. Walls closing in with no way out. I have what I need to CTB, but I'm stuck because my conscious won't let me follow through with it due to the pain that it will cause my mother. My chronic illness, fatigue, and brain damage make the necessary efforts required to sort out my affairs, write my notes and create a will seem insurmountable. I also intend to enact revenge upon my ex who abused me, and that also requires planning and gathering of materials that my dwindling finances and impaired cognition get in the way of. I fear that things will continue to deteriorate until I simply cannot fight anymore, and I will die leaving a mess behind and a trail of grief.

 

[rudebeat]

My life was steadily improving a lot until some health issues started a couple years ago and almost all of them could've been completely avoided. One issue that popped up in the past few weeks would've still brought my life to a halt though. My life could've been great for 22 years though, I just mismanaged my life horribly.

 

[ready to go....]

Yes. I have now gotten to the stage where I have completely disconnected from everything. I quit my job 2 weeks ago, I've not replied to friends for weeks, I've completely lost interest in things that used to bring me joy, I've cancelled of my medical appointments and have started to sell most of my belongings. I have everything ready to ctb, notes written, instructions of what to do with my belonging etc, the equipment that I need, I know it will be soon, I just don't care anymore, I want this all to end, the only thing keeping me here is my dog. She won't understand.

 

[lmon]

I feel more and more ready to CTB feel more disconnected then ever before my depression and anxiety is getting worse . I cant focus its unconformable I sleep most of all day and I just cant live with this major depressive disorder anymore i can live in peace so ill die in peace. I'm gathering all my resources together and ordering my SN and a few other things very soon


life is game and I'm choosing to opt out.....

me too, and my dr wont prescribe me any controlled meds. it's the only thing that helps me. so it makes me wanna ctb sooner. the meds make like more bearable. good job docs

 

[Ticket 2 Heaven]

I'm worse

 

[StarryStarry]

Yes, each morning I wake up my life is worse, my depression deepens, my desire to ctb is greater. I'm very tired. Tired of living in a world where no one gives a shit about anybody else. I don't belong in this world.

 

[drowning]

Every day it gets worse. Getting really intrusive thoughts too. Not just about myself, which is strange.

 

[anxious_depressive]

Yes, it's getting worse every day.
Fatigue.
It is very difficult to breathe, as if a stone is resting on my chest.
It takes incredible effort to get out of bed.

 

[Hurt]

Yes. I'm getting worse and I am losing interest in every aspect of my life.