Discussion Is anyone else extremely clingy?

[Hellish Ore]

I'm an extremely clingy person, to the point of invading people's personal space. I can't help it. I get worried and constantly need reassurance that my friends are doing okay. I don't want to be this person. I feel like an annoying piece of gum stuck to the back of their shoes or mold growing on bread. I'm so controlling that I suffocate the people I love. By doing this, I scare people away. Additionally, I have severe attachment issues. I am destroying all of my relationships, and soon I might end up alone because of it.

 

[PetrichorBirth]

Yeah, for me that mostly surfaces in romantic relationships. Bad stuff. Would be so cool to have a secure attachment. Relationships from the past (that i still think about regularly) could have probably gone on for much longer then. Very sad

 

[Rocinante]

Yeah I need constant attention and validation

 

[Pluto]

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Idk. I remember, before coming to terms with my feelings for him, I would send my bf text messages begging him not to leave me or abandon me and to not get tired of me whenever I wasn't sober. I also used to constantly become paranoid over the idea of him growing tired of me and leaving me. The first guy to who I sent an explicit photo to I remember constantly checking my phone to see if he messaged me or checking his profile to see if he was online (I think he stopped using the app) on a daily basis. I didn't even know him that well but I felt kind of attached to him.

I don't know if I would necessarily consider myself to be a clingy person but I guess I have had times where I've felt clingy towards others.

 

[shorecomingsee yah]

yah think it is from bpd though. would be nice to be on the other side of it and see what its like as a avoidant person

 

[idontfeellikeimreal]

yah think it is from bpd though. would be nice to be on the other side of it and see what its like as a avoidant person

For some reason, I've managed to be on both sides. I have experienced what it's like to be the clingy person, and I have been the avoidant person.

I can't fully explain it, since it has only happened once. He was quite delusional. I'm not saying this to insult him, but he had some problems that were diagnosed. I feel like he also had some kind of attention deficit. He always needed me to respond within seconds, which I understand perfectly, since I used to be like that too. This experience has made me realize how draining it is when someone is THAT clingy. The constant calls, texts, etc.

There was always some kind of drama going on. For instance, if I didn't answer him, he would suddenly claim to have taken an overdose. In the end, he was faking a lot. He also pretended to crash a motorcycle to CTB.

He often threatened to CTB whenever I tried fixing things with my partner at the time. He also texted my ex to threaten him, saying, "If you come to see her, I will end you."

He wanted me to understand me, which I did. He just could not understand my POV. When I tried to CTB I was the one comforting him, telling him I wouldn't CTB while literally attempting. That was a crazy time, I do not wish to ever experience this again.

He has found someone else to cling to now, and it is such a relief, knowing he won't spam me with hundreds of messages, going absolutely insane just because I was asleep or couldn't answer.

 

[eatantz]

I'm so clingy but I think that's the daddy issues and autism. I hate it honestly I wish I was casual and calm in relationships/ friendships. It's always been one of my worst traits plus my fear of abandonment

 

[Throwawayacc3]

From reading the forum the past few months it seems very common with autistic people. I try to help and give information and not care about myself. Once we have a person that shares interests or likes it's very rare so we want to continue and evolve the dynamic.

People pleasing is just trauma. I do that. That's from childhood fuck ups from parents and school.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I definitely see myself as clingy, particularly in romantic relationships. For me I definitely feel a part of this is RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria). Here's a great article about RSD.

 

[etherealspring]

i think im clingy but ppl often tell me that's not the case at all

 

[DefinitelyReady]

Idk. I remember, before coming to terms with my feelings for him, I would send my bf text messages begging him not to leave me or abandon me and to not get tired of me whenever I wasn't sober. I also used to constantly become paranoid over the idea of him growing tired of me and leaving me. The first guy to who I sent an explicit photo to I remember constantly checking my phone to see if he messaged me or checking his profile to see if he was online (I think he stopped using the app) on a daily basis. I didn't even know him that well but I felt kind of attached to him.

I don't know if I would necessarily consider myself to be a clingy person but I guess I have had times where I've felt clingy towards others.

At least we realized and stopped right? How long have you been sober?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

At least we realized and stopped right? How long have you been sober?

All day, lol. I did shrooms last Thursday and that's it.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

All day, lol. I did shrooms last Thursday and that's it.

Lol. Does it help? Do you microdose? I've always meant to try. Well your posts never seem high. My poor posts always do with the errors and meshed, intertwined thoughts; run-on sentences, or thoughts AND sentences... and I'm always sober...

 

[Hellish Ore]

I definitely see myself as clingy, particularly in romantic relationships. For me I definitely feel a part of this is RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria). Here's a great article about RSD.

Thank you for that. I will definitely read it.

 

[tezw]

No rly buds, people just tend to get sick of me for some reason, I struggle with that a lot, initial impressions seem to be good they seem to thrive off me, then the discard happens I think when they realise how boring and depressing I am

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

No. I could'nt care less about having any kind of relationship with other humans.

to me chatgpt and other ai seems more knowledgeble and patient in conversations anyway

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Lol. Does it help? Do you microdose? I've always meant to try. Well your posts never seem high. My poor posts always do with the errors and meshed, intertwined thoughts; run-on sentences, or thoughts AND sentences... and I'm always sober...

It did help me get out of a rough spot but they cam also end up just intensifying your negative emotions if you aren't taking them while you are in a good headspace and while you are in a comfortable environment. I don't microdose, I usually take around 2.5-3.0g since it's something I mostly do for fun.

 

[Agon321]

I am your opposite.
I am very distant and I mainly focus on my own affairs.
I also try not to impose.

Honestly, I get incredibly annoyed by people who interfere too much in everything.
Sometimes I feel like smashing some of these people's heads in with a baseball bat.
No offence.

 

[Not A Fan]

I experienced a lot of insecurity during my first relationship between the age of 17 - 20. I suppose this is to be expected, people need to have that experience to learn something about themselves and others.

Subsequently, I had two other serious relationships. I won't date someone just because 'they're around,' or compulsively, nor have I ever attempted to pursue someone who wasn't interested. Also, its a requirement that we must have similar interests, values, and levels of independence. Ideally they would develop organically out of strong platonic connections. Leaves less room for doubt.

I'm also maybe unusual because I'm not really prone to jealousy. I've always told my partners up front that I neither require nor expect exclusivity, and are free to come or go as they please. It allows for a more open and honest communication and you don't have to try and guess what the other person is thinking.

So suppose you are dating someone who you really enjoy. But for whatever reason, they are no longer into it. Maybe they have even become interested in another particular person. Would you rather them stay in the relationship and lie to you, or tell the truth and leave, thus you don't have to be left guessing? I realize this may not be a popular perspective, as most people seem eager to defend jealousy and enjoy feeling entitled to it.

For me, the feeling is, you never really "have" someone else, thus you don't really "lose" them. A person's decision to stay 'faithful' to you is completely meaningless and invalid if it is the result of emotional manipulation.

Sorry for the rambling unfocused reply. I tried to formulate a thought but instead, this happened^