is anyone decided to ctb but scared?

[Alreadylate]

I have finaly decided life is not for me, but I'm really about something going wrong when ctb. I'd like to find someone to talk everyday, this situation is making me really uncomfortable lol

 

[usernamesarehard]

If you want someone to talk to feel free to reach out. I'm looking for people to talk to as well.

 

[MarketValueadded]

I have been in limbo for so long now, I just can't seem to be able to do it. I wish I had the courage of other people.

 

[Manic Panic]

Wouldn't say I'm scared more like I'm waiting for the final push.

 

[s00ngone]

I'm scared, yeah. Of dying, but more so of leaving my sister and parents behind with the trauma and confusion.

 

[Alreadylate]

I'm scared, yeah. Of dying, but more so of leaving my sister and parents behind with the trauma and confusion.

aren't you more scared of ending up in a worse situation and not dying?

 

[s00ngone]

aren't you more scared of ending up in a worse situation and not dying?

I mean, that's my nightmare. No one in my life even knows I'm suicidal. To survive would be the absolute worst case scenario. I can't even predict how disastrous that would be.

So yeah, I'm afraid of that, considering my SN protocol is going to have to be over the counter at best. But I'm more immediately guilty over how much pain I'll cause my family.

 

[NonEssential]

Besides being scared to ctb, idk how much I would have already accomplished in life if I wasn't always crippled by anxiety.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

A reflection on "the pain you will cause others": honestly, anyone who has this kind of feeling should not even be thinking about leaving this existence. So, No. You are not ready. The probability of going wrong is high. And if you think life is bad as it is now, you believe that nothing is so bad that it cannot get worse. And why are you not ready? Mainly because there is a difference between understanding non-existence as a perfect state and simply thinking that the problem is you. The decision to die must involve giving up feeling pleasure within a nature where suffering is the rule. It is understanding that until the last day of life it will be a constant struggle to minimize suffering because this is basic to life. And this applies to everyone who accepts this as it is. It is in nature, it is in everything we know. If you have ties to existence to the point of worrying about issues like "the pain I will cause" it is a warning that you do not want to die. Think about it.

 

[concession]

Besides being scared to ctb, idk how much I would have already accomplished in life if I wasn't always crippled by anxiety.

You are not alone

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

Another point about life: People who accept the rules of the "game" are not exactly happy. They just accepted it. Some use tricks like belief in another life. Have you ever stopped to think that this "promise" means exactly that life is inevitable suffering? Religion, for example, is always based on something that does not exist and there is no guarantee that it will exist in this life. Always after. Meanwhile, people who accept the rules go looking for happy moments amidst the chaos of random events. How many have you seen who, in "complete happiness", suddenly found themselves with some fatal disease? How many in accidents, etc.? Does it make any sense? None. But it does if we understand what living really means: fulfilling tasks in order to survive. Nothing more than that. We just had the bad luck of being aware of being alive. Other beings are like us, but without the burden of thinking about why they are moving, hunting, feeding, etc.