Is anyone ctb soon?

[phoenixx]

When are you going to do it? What type of method are you going to use?

 

[Escaper Boy]

Honestly, even if I have N in front of me, I doubt I can ctb right away. I still haven't come to term with my passing. I already ordered SN yesterday. The package is expected to arrive in few days. I also got my anti emetic (domperidone) already.

When will I ctb? I still don't know.

 

[JohnUK]

I'm hoping around 20th May time either jumping from somewhere or CO

 

[Volomori83]

I intend to hang myself during the summer. (July/August).

 

[Olach]

I'll ctb next month

 

[Please_stop]

I'll probably hang myself soon. I did a test run recently, and it didn't scare me. I just hope I can pass out fairly quick

 

[Divine Trinity]

There's a trick to this, you have to angle it correctly or it won't tighten enough. I'll go when I figure it out, at least those physics classes weren't a complete waste of time.

 

[seekingoblivion]

I feel like I'll be trying to go soon though I don't even have a method yet. I'm just increasingly feeling I shouldn't be here.

 

[pole]

I wanna do it before june hopefully and well before my 20th birthday. I just need a method that isnt too crazy or complicated that i can do and have no problems setting up and doing. Iv overcame the fear and unsettlement with death, i just wanna get it over with to be honest.

 

[Mr2005]

End of the year for me. Unless a miracle occurs I'll be 33 and will have wasted fifteen years. That's long enough, nothings getting better after that. I'm not ready for a new decade, I wasn't even ready for this one

 

[Peeloffallmyskin]

In the hotel room currently with SN. just finishing up a letter.

 

[pole]

In the hotel room currently with SN. just finishing up a letter.

Hope you'll be at peace soon and i hope the method is peaceful and painless.

 

[FreeFallin]

As soon as I can figure out a method that involves paracord and not cutting off airways. I cannot stand choking, but I have no drug or firearm method. Researching paracord ballbearing knots.

 

[Mr2005]

Some of you are so young. You were just kids when my shit started and I was your age. You've grown up while I was sleeping. It freaks me out I don't belong here at all in this year at this age. The fact you're online talking about doing it before 20 makes me feel so stupid. That's not your fault it's mine. I still thought I had forever at that age and didn't sort my problems out whilst I could
Nothing will ever make that easier except N. It pains me because I squandered such potential

 

[pole]

Some of you are so young. You were just kids when my shit started and I was your age. You've grown up while I was sleeping. It freaks me out I don't belong here at all in this year at this age. The fact you're online talking about doing it before 20 makes me feel so stupid. That's not your fault it's mine. I still thought I had forever at that age and didn't sort my problems out whilst I could
Nothing will ever make that easier except N. It pains me because I squandered such potential

Awh, dont blame yourself. Maybe you had optimism and hope that it would get better? I've had those same thoughts since i was around 12. Now im 19, and ive released it was false hope and false optimism that just prolonged the time that i had and in turn made me suffer sadness even more. Sucks though, cause everyone keeps rejecting me as a partner to CTB with cause of my age :(

 

[FreeFallin]

48 years old here. Have been in and out of mental hospitals since I was 12. I'm just tired and there's no one left that gives a shoot. Really tired.

 

[pole]

48 years old here. Have been in and out of mental hospitals since I was 12. I'm just tired and there's no one left that gives a shoot. Really tired.

Hope you find peace :(

 

[Mr2005]

Well it's different for everyone. Experiencing these feelings at 12 probably caused you to grow up a lot sooner. I didn't. The worst part is knowing I had six years to sort my problems out and did nothing. I remember my 20th birthday panicking slightly but then going back to telling myself I still had time and it would sort itself out. All I had to do was get on a forum like this. It makes no sense why I didn't. I can't bear it. I feel like I'm forgetting something

 

[Kikoo Loool]

In the hotel room currently with SN. just finishing up a letter.

Good luck, you're not alone. May you find the peace you're looking for.

 

[pole]

Well it's different for everyone. Experiencing these feelings at 12 probably caused you to grow up a lot sooner. I didn't. The worst part is knowing I had six years to sort my problems out and did nothing. I remember my 20th birthday panicking slightly but then going back to telling myself I still had time and it would sort itself out. All I had to do was get on a forum like this. It makes no sense why I didn't. I can't bear it. I feel like I'm forgetting something

Guess its just us as humans, wanting to believe it gets better and could get better. Everyone has those thoughts. Can't blame you for even having them even at 20. Maybe it happened for a reason, who knows.

Hope you find you're peace though, wish you the best.

 

[Mr2005]

Thankyou. I don't really want to die I just want to have done something in 2005 that I didn't. An impossible ask but I'd take being brainwashed into believing it. It causes me mental trauma that I can't deal with for much longer. You're right about it being part of the human condition. We're doing the same thing about climate change but on a much larger scale. Just sweeping it under the rug and ignoring it instead of doing something about it.

 

[FreeFallin]

Well it's different for everyone. Experiencing these feelings at 12 probably caused you to grow up a lot sooner. I didn't. The worst part is knowing I had six years to sort my problems out and did nothing. I remember my 20th birthday panicking slightly but then going back to telling myself I still had time and it would sort itself out. All I had to do was get on a forum like this. It makes no sense why I didn't. I can't bear it. I feel like I'm forgetting something

I thought these problems would sort themselves out. 30+ years and the only thing that's convinced me the world was the loss of both parents, my brother that I held in my arms as he passed then my fiance passing. I don't really want to ctb just to have never existed in the first place.

Just a perfect day, drink sangria in the park...
May you find the happiness that you didn't find here.

 

[pole]

Sorry to hear about your pain through your losses. Cant even begin to imagine what that feels like cause i just cant. Hope you find your peace.

 

[Mr2005]

Maybe life is inherently evil but it's good too. I think heaven and hell are just on earth. Of course depending on your circumstances and life experiences it's going to alter how you see things. All the worlds a stage. I have issues with things but I think to some degree painting a picture of it all being pointless is to make us feel better. I'm just speaking for myself when I say this but I had no problem with life until the age of 17 when I decided to throw it all away for no reason. It makes no sense I had everything going for me I think I just lacked direction. What I did was as good as commit suicide then but without knowing it. Of course now this happened to me the thought I can avoid the deaths of parents etc gives me more inventive. There simply isn't enough good left in my life to make the bad worthwhile

 

[FreeFallin]

I really can't imagine anyones loss being anymore than anyone elses. We feel differently, we have different tolerances. My pain how can it measure to your pain? It can't and it never will. We all break, your breaking point and mine are no different friend.

 

[pole]

Do you believe you'll CTB in the near future? Cause you send like your in between about it and still deciding. But yeah, i dont wanna wait any longer and let the years go by and grow up for because i "think its gonna get better" and have false hope just to regret looking back when i was younger and ending my life earlier when i realized and had the chance.

 

[FreeFallin]

Do you believe you'll CTB in the near future? Cause you send like your in between about it and still deciding. But yeah, i dont wanna wait any longer and let the years go by and grow up for because i "think its gonna get better" and have false hope just to regret looking back when i was younger and ending my life earlier when i realized and had the chance.

I don't know. I want it to be. I have 3 furry guys I need to re-home. I realistically don't see it going past April.

 

[pole]

I really can't imagine anyones loss being anymore than anyone elses. We feel differently, we have different tolerances. My pain how can it measure to your pain? It can't and it never will. We all break, your breaking point and mine are no different friend.

Beautifully well put. I'd always compare my pain and heartache to other peoples for some reason. I was talking to a girl at work, that was going through sadness and i told her how i felt like shit even feeling bad cause her pain was way worse than him and she had told me that even though our experiences might be different, we both still are going through pain. Pain is pain. No one should compare or belittle or even undervalue someones pain and sadness.

And what you just said reminded me of that again. Amazing perspective.

 

[phoenixx]

Well, I wish everyone the best. I hope we all find peace eventually

 

[pole]

Well, I wish everyone the best. I hope we all find peace eventually

Hope you find the peace your looking for also.