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squillykilly

squillykilly

Stupid Chud
Dec 15, 2025
86
I've been battling with depression my whole life, and even on anti Depressants I still end up self harming and planning my inevitable CTB... The only thing that makes me genuinely happy is being tipsy/drunk. "Ohh Squilly, that's a depressant! It makes things worse" why do I feel so happy when I drink and then feel the exact same (depressed) when I sober up. I don't ever want to be sober, I just want to be happy
I understand it's factually a depressant but I DONT CARE
 
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SASU-KE

SASU-KE

Mage
Nov 26, 2025
554
As Jeff Goldblum said,That's how it starts in the beginning. And then comes the crying and screaming.
 
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Afterglow

Afterglow

if found, return to closest moss covered rock
Feb 22, 2025
341
Just as you said in the last line, yes, it is classed as a depressant.

Both of my friends who died by suicide were drunk when it happened.

It feels good at first, but when it becomes the new normal, everything comes crashing back down.
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
3,695
It is a depressant because of what it does physiologically not psychology. It slows CNS activity. This makes some people happier while others are sadder. Your mood can also change over time as you build tolerance with repeated use.

 
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NotSoEnchanted

NotSoEnchanted

Member
Dec 26, 2025
64
It feels good at first, but when it becomes the new normal, everything comes crashing back down.
Exactly this. I got black out drunk last night and awoke this afternoon to a noose hanging in my kitchen, and my wrist cut. I used to just wake up to a mess or something, maybe some cookies I'd baked drunk. But now after 3 drinks I get incredibly sad. 1-2 I'll be alright, but anything past that is the 'danger zone' I miss the days where I didn't drink nightly and where I was actually happy when drunk.
 
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VegasLyra

VegasLyra

Member
Jan 16, 2021
54
It is a depressant because if what it does physiologically not psychology. It slows CNS activity. This makes some people happier while others are sadder. Your mood can also change over time as you build tolerance with repeated use.

Exactly this. When people say a drug is a depressant they mean it slows down your central nervous system, not that it makes you feel emotionally depressed
 
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apistatcommander

apistatcommander

Member
Mar 16, 2023
27
I've been battling with depression my whole life, and even on anti Depressants I still end up self harming and planning my inevitable CTB... The only thing that makes me genuinely happy is being tipsy/drunk. "Ohh Squilly, that's a depressant! It makes things worse" why do I feel so happy when I drink and then feel the exact same (depressed) when I sober up. I don't ever want to be sober, I just want to be happy
I understand it's factually a depressant but I DONT CARE
When I first started drinking, it did make me feel better. But after a while I just started being such a miserable drunk. I started blacking out and waking up with my clothes wet and scratches on my body from what were probably drunken attempts to drown myself. I have super vague memories of being outside and literally crying and screaming about how I don't want to live. The loss of control is starting to scare me
 

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