Hello!
I'm currently a biochem major and formerly someone who sh'd using a santoku knife. (basically a large meat knife.)
1. Using sandpaper can be risky because to get something sharp enough, you'd need both high grit and low grit sand paper. You might run out of usable surface before you get through completely sanding everything down.
2. If you wash it thoroughly, the risk of metal poisoning or something similar is low. You'd need to deposit quite a bit of metal scrap before it would have an effect beyond some discomfort.
3. About oxidizing, it's hard to answer without knowing what kind of metal the can is made of. If you figure it out, let me know and I can answer that.
4. You probably won't be able to cut deep enough to do any real, lasting damage, like severing and tendon. You will likely scar, and probably very apparently due to the tool you're using. I used to use a knife, which is made for creating clean cuts. They healed pretty well. A sanded down can won't afford you this luxury.
A vein is much easier to accidentally cut through. You'll know if you do, it'll be very apparent. It'll bleed very heavily, and the cut will be decently deep. It will also clot fairly quickly (probably within 2 minutes) and there won't be a risk of bleeding out, so don't worry.
5. Just some tips to do it safely.
> apply little to no pressure with your tool (if possible). You're much less likely to do damage this way, and recovery will be much less painful.
> after the fact, clean off the tool with water and wipe it down once with alcohol and allow to air dry if you intend to reuse it. Also, when you initially go to start, make sure the alcohol has dried completely. Sterilization with alcohol takes about a full 60 seconds.
> clean your wounds with water and soap. Do not wipe them with alcohol. Not only does alcohol hurt like a bitch, but it isn't any more effective than soap and water at keeping a wound clean. It's more suited for surfaces.
> Once your wounds are scabbed over, try not to pick them. Picking will increase the chance of infection and slow down healing, prolonging the period of time you have to wait before being able to sh again. Which can very detrimental to your mental health, since for most people it's a form of stress relief (and in rare cases self punishment.)
Sorry for word vomit, hope it helps.
Can't answer the sand bit since I'm not experienced with it, but if you have any metal that is thin enough to rip with your bare hands that tend to be quite effective. Maybe stick to surface cuts to be safe, if you need them to hurt more then put salt, acid or soap on. As for infections just make sure to clean them and keep an eye on them and it should be fine, assuming you don't have a weak immune system or something that is. Btw, might be a good idea to stay away from doing it on your arms as it can be trickier to cover it up there. The stomach area is the best hiding spot from my experience, although if you get stripped it might be better to cut in a way where it doesn't look like sh. After all, the best hiding spots are the ones in plain sight. ;) Whatever you do, DO NOT get caught as they'll strip you of off all your stuff and privacy witch is not fun, believe me! I've had it happen to me several times and it's an agony every time! But most of all, pls stay safe! Hope you get out of there soon, these places are no fun to be in, been in and out of the psych myself for several years and I hate it there. Wouldn't wish it upon anyone. Sending you some love, hope all goes well for you :)
Soap in wounds? I think skin ointments would be better then. I could never use soap in my wounds, ouch!
Don't do it! You're in a mental health facility and trust me, they have ensured everything is safe! They do 15 min checks on everyone 24/7. If for some miracle you are successful (I highly doubt it) you only have at minimum 15 min to bleed out. Some employees love theor job and go above and beyond and will visit more frequently, so you may have less time than that.
All you will do is make your stay more uncomfortable and be at higher risk. You are lucky to have the internet, on my psych unit we vouldnt access it or I would have. If you get busted, they can possible add more time and place you in restraints!
All attemps should stop until you are out of there! They will find you and save your life! Don't waste your time trying. You have a better chance at convincing them that you are doing better and their plan is working then what you're cooking up.
The only way out is 2 options, your insurance cut you, or you look at act better! I did both and made it out in 3 days
Thanks far all replies, things are really difficult for me at the moment so I haven't gotten around to replying yet, and I need to change WiFi network, find my username and password and use Tor. Just as an update since last week, I have since managed to take two finger pickering needles and some fine sandpaper (got caught the first time with the sandpaper but second time was a charm). I have SHed twice in the last week, first time I hacked at my arm for two and a half hours with a plastic knife and didn't even draw a meaningful amount of blood, so gave up. Second time I stuck my upper arm with the needle around 200 or so times, you can either call them deep scratches or very shallow cuts, but lots of nice blood, with respect, but no real damage at all and not much pain, I did it in the shower and cleaned the blood up after if anyone was wondering.
To answer some of your questions;
The can is almost certainly aluminium, as for aerosol cans at least, it seems like they are either tinplate (steel with a very small amount of tin coating), or aluminium. Due to the fact that it is magnetic I'm fairly certain it is aluminium. The can is also now also finished.
I am not worried about metal poisoning, I am only sanding it down to get rid of the paint and protective layers. I didn't have any plans to sharpen it, and will of course clean it thoroughly before use.
As for the cleaness of the cut, I can fashion the metal to be quite flat, not looking to do something in a few minutes, (One time I SHed for 11 hours, which I will get into later).
For the healing process, after the incident I will go out and get it seen to, again will go into more detail later.
An aerosol can is designed to hold quite a lot of pressure, I highly doubt I will be able to pierce it with my bare hands.
As for getting caught, I highly doubt I will during the act. To give a bit of context, I SH to what you could call minor and moderate degrees multiple times here. Before I continue it's worth noting that I am on hourly observations and my bed faces the door. The first time I SHed, for two hours, I was checked on twice with the second time a member of staff opened my door to talk to me, after I was finished I went out bleeding. They pulled the alarm, got the doctor and removed some stuff from my room and put me on 10 minutes until the morning, and that was it. I minorly SHed a few times after that with 30 visible light cuts and no one noticed. The other times I majorly SHef were for 4 hours, 4 hours and 11 hours (yes 11 hours). Each time being checked on hourly, once a nurse even came right to my bedside, I held my legs to my chest and they didn't notice a thing. Another time I asked for my medication and just put my arm under my blanket, and again they didn't notice a thing. After each time I would wait for the bleeding to stop, wrap a towel around my arm and casually go out and ask a nurse for a dressing. They would call the doctor and dress it, but no alarm, no increased observations, no one going into my room, nothing, I even gave them a random piece of plastic on occasions and they bought it. Each time I used a plastic knife.
To to put long story short, I am not worried about caught and I will not have any privileges taken away (They can also not restrain people here, unless they are violent). The ward I am on isn't the most competent at night, also due to my condition I have additional privileges, such as staff not going near my stuff (I have a quite a lot stashed away that they would not be best please if found).
Some final things to answer, I am a voluntary patient and I could leave when ever I wanted, but I am not going to because I want to get better. As for WiFi I know, I have heard that in some places you are not even allowed your phone, while I have a phone, a laptop and could have headphones, a handheld games console and a bunch of others things if I wanted, and this is still an acute ward.
Finally just to be perfectly clear, I most certainly do not want to CTB (Although I don't really want to live ATM either) and do not want to do any serious damage.
