Venting Intrusive thoughts and grooming

[lainsitooo]

This is more a vent but I would like help.

Sometimes, very frequently I have this thoughts. I don't like them, they can go to harm someone which is more simple to sexual related or more violent things. Sometimes I think that this thoughts may come since I was exposed to adult material since I was a kid and I was groomed, I am not sure though.
I wish I didn't have them. I hate them and I rather die than having this thoughts again in my life.

I was groomed when I was 12 by a girl who asked me for pictures, which I obviously agreed to gave. I won't enter into more details, but it was a really gross experience, it wasn't only pictures.
I always talked about it like it was like an actual sexual abuse, because I just thought no one would take me seriously, I feel guilty about that.

Hope this doesn't triggers someone, I am sorry if this is gross for other people
everything is so nonsense

 

[alligatorsister]

ive been groomed too,, always was afraid about talking about it because online grooming didnt seem serious.

i have similar intrusive thoughts aswell and i believe it stems from that.. it makes me feel like a disgusting horrible person and i cant really control them. I can't offer much help but you arent gross for this, you can only control your actions not your thoughts.

 

[lainsitooo]

ive been groomed too,, always was afraid about talking about it because online grooming didnt seem serious.

i have similar intrusive thoughts aswell and i believe it stems from that.. it makes me feel like a disgusting horrible person and i cant really control them. I can't offer much help but you arent gross for this, you can only control your actions not your thoughts.

Same thing. Ive always thought that no one would take me seriously, but if i am honest is nice to see people with almost equal experience because sometimes it genuinely feels embarrassing.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

Hi friend! I deal with terrible intrusive thoughts too. It's gotten so bad I've reached out to a therapist. I have violent and sexual intrusive thoughts that I would never act on. Just remember your thoughts don't define you. They're just thoughts. You can't help it. I have no idea how to get rid of them, but just know it has nothing to do with you. Who would want to have thoughts like that? I was born in 2000 with completely unrestricted internet access so I think that's where my thoughts come from. Also sexual trauma. I understand you and I see you. I'm sorry you're going through this. Just remember your intrusive thoughts don't define you. If we could get rid of them, we would.

 

[lainsitooo]

Thank you so much for understanding, Hope that you are fine.

Hi friend! I deal with terrible intrusive thoughts too. It's gotten so bad I've reached out to a therapist. I have violent and sexual intrusive thoughts that I would never act on. Just remember your thoughts don't define you. They're just thoughts. You can't help it. I have no idea how to get rid of them, but just know it has nothing to do with you. Who would want to have thoughts like that? I was born in 2000 with completely unrestricted internet access so I think that's where my thoughts come from. Also sexual trauma. I understand you and I see you. I'm sorry you're going through this. Just remember your intrusive thoughts don't define you. If we could get rid of them, we would.