I am worried how my parents and my grandma will react. Whether they will survive it I don't know. And I have a guilty conscience. I think my friends will be warned enough. My dad assumed my suicide talk was just empty bla bla. And he was surprised when I actually bought something to kill myself. Lol.
Not so close friends and the people in my self-help group won't care. The same goes for my therapists.
I'm worried but I also have a mental illness (I guess, doesn't feel like one) that says they are all dead. If I'm wrong, they will be strong enough to deal with it anyways. They will understand one day why I couldn't continue on. Who wants to live in a world when you think everyone is a zombie alien out to get you and hurt you? Nothing is fixing that for me.
It does hurt to think about though. Sometimes though it's just your time to go
My parents will be sad temporarily, but then they'll be relieved at not having to help me anymore, and their marriage will improve. My partner has said multiple times that he hates me and that he feels trapped with me, so he'd be better off too. I don't have any close friends.
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