I’m the only one who deserves a painful death

[sapphoslastpoem]

I have CPTSD and severe anxiety (potentially autism as well, it runs in my family but my parents refused to get me tested for it). I'm only in my early 20's but I've already fucked my whole life up. I live in my car, I'm being bullied in my college classes, I'm paranoid and terrified of everything and everyone because everyone is out to get me. I'm a fucking alien, I don't belong here, I shouldn't exist, I'm not supposed to be taking up space here. I'm a horrible person and I'll only be doing everyone a favor by leaving. Unfortunately, I'll be adding to the statistic, people as mentally screwed as I am are usually gonna CTB just like me, except, none of them are bad people, none of them deserved to feel the way I do, they weren't bad people, I am. I deserve this, I'm the only one who deserves this. I'm the worst person in the world and it was a horrible mistake for me to be brought into this world. In reality, I deserve to be killed in the worst way possible, my death shouldn't be peaceful, I don't even deserve that. My whole life has been pain, it's all I deserve, I should go out painfully.

 

[Slark]

I have CPTSD and severe anxiety (potentially autism as well, it runs in my family but my parents refused to get me tested for it). I'm only in my early 20's but I've already fucked my whole life up. I live in my car, I'm being bullied in my college classes, I'm paranoid and terrified of everything and everyone because everyone is out to get me. I'm a fucking alien, I don't belong here, I shouldn't exist, I'm not supposed to be taking up space here. I'm a horrible person and I'll only be doing everyone a favor by leaving. Unfortunately, I'll be adding to the statistic, people as mentally screwed as I am are usually gonna CTB just like me, except, none of them are bad people, none of them deserved to feel the way I do, they weren't bad people, I am. I deserve this, I'm the only one who deserves this. I'm the worst person in the world and it was a horrible mistake for me to be brought into this world. In reality, I deserve to be killed in the worst way possible, my death shouldn't be peaceful, I don't even deserve that. My whole life has been pain, it's all I deserve, I should go out painfully.

I also think the same about myself

 

[777cave]

I understand.

 

[Lulzacruel]

everyone is entitled to a painless life or death

i might not know enough about your situation to fix it but i can definitely tell that it is not a situation that any human shall ever go through

 

[Tulip<3]

It makes me so sad you feel like this. I truly understand self hatred but from an outsider, you truly don't sound like an awful person who deserves pain or a painful death. It isn't your fault you struggle with the things you struggle with, you didn't choose your anxiety etc. just try to remember that, you didn't choose your mental illness.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

You're not a horrible person because of what happened to you and the diseases you have. You don't deserve a painful death. See a person who deserves a painful death is me. I'm an actual horrible person. I'm being serious like I actually hurt people with my words in the past. I've done actual stupid shit. That's objectively horrible and the only responses I got were (reasonably) anger.

Also who tf has time to bully you in college??