Venting i'm terrified of death but also scared i'm going to miss my opportunity

[vulkann]

iirc i joined around the time that guy selling SN from Canada was arrested. After that happened I felt so defeated knowing i just missed my chance.
Well now with this new SN supplier i can't help but be scared. I went through the effort of finding the site but my entire body starts shaking while i think about planning to CTB.

I've had CTB on my mind every single day for the past few years, even CTB in my dreams. I wont have access to any other drugs to take the SN which makes me even more anxious.

I think i will just end up missing my chance to find peace.

 

[DeathSleep]

If you don't want to miss your chance and you're able to buy it now you could just store it for when you're ready. I've seen threads on here before talking about how to store it properly.

I've had my method ready for a little while now. It actually makes me feel a lot better knowing that I have it. I have a date set but really I could go at any time and that makes me feel ...safe.

I wish you the best no matter what you do.