Venting I'm sure I don't belong in here.

[depressedsoul3]

I have had suicidal thoughts since I can remember, I never attempted though, its always my family that stops me when I have enough courage, I love them but I also believe its my life and if I'm the one struggling I'm free to end this pain, but my mind always tortures me with feelings of guilt. have you passed that? and if so, how? does it go by time? I'm just venting.

 

[unexplainedExplorer]

if you feel like ending your pain, you belong here. in the meantime, you are safe with us.

 

[Azzuree]

I ended up in SS for almost the same reasons.

Honestly, I've never been able to find an assured way to get rid of the negative thoughts in my head. Whenever they pop up, I'd search online what I was feeling or thinking, only to end up being disappointed or more guilty with the answers I recieved. After a while, I grew tired of recieving the same bs again and again, and that's when I ended up in SS.

The only way I found to remove or supress these thoughts was by distracting myself with different shit, but even that isn't enough. Once I stop distracting myself, it just goes back in my head again.

Overtime, I find this solution to just slow down everything, but it'll never be a 100% fix to everything.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that when it comes to guilt, the way that I see it, nobody is obligated to continue existing here and anyway grief and loss are just inevitable, we all have to die and lose everything someday. Eventually we very likely won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here. But it must be tiring feeling trapped in that situation, I wish you the best.

 

[TapeMachine]

The thought of hurting some of my family members is why I'm still here.

I have everything ready to go, and I know I'll undoubtedly put it to use some day...but I guess I'm just waiting for the day to come when my anguish finally outweighs my compassion and tolerance.

 

[Endkrieg00]

I think is somewhat normal to feel like that... I feel like that too in some way. My good parents are one of the principal reasons that keeps me locked for ctb due to the effects that will cause in my family after my leave. A good portion of people with this type of problem have the dilema with the aftereffects that will leave behind to their loved ones. So in my point of view I think is normal to think like that...