Menschenmühle
Member
- Jan 21, 2022
- 80
So I posted a thread here a couple of months ago expressing my grievances towards the behaviour and personality of my girlfriend. Now time has passed and I see no point in continuing a relationship where the other person is refusing all change, who is so far from being up to the standards, if I may say so.
As I mentioned before, she wallows herself in self-pity and pessimism. Some people here said to love her just for the sake of loving her, to expect no reward. But this is extremely difficult. As far as I know, she's not a family member nor a cherished friend that I've been with for so long. As cruel as it sounds, I don't believe I ower her anything anymore, and maybe it's for the best that our ships depart from course.
The tipping point is when I expressed some personal values that I seek to embody, she replied by laughing, and saying that the greatest thing I can do in life is to soothe the suffering of my loved ones, especially as she claims that I'm partially the cause of their suffering. She is talking about my mother here, it's as if she believes I'm mistreating my mother in some way. She disrespects values that I hold dear to my heart, and wishes to replace them with self-guilt and whatnot.
Now I don't know when to exactly break up with her. Should I do it now, tomorrow, or never? I don't want to hurt her, and I'm quite afraid that she'll use the event of a breakup to further her own convictions about how everyone abandoned her and how she deserves to be alone and depressed. In this way, I can't deny that I'd feel a sense of guilt, for further degrading a person's sense of worth. But why should I even care about this? Am I really responsible for the conclusions that she comes up with regarding her own life? Eh, I don't know when and how to act really, it's quite a delicate situation.
As I mentioned before, she wallows herself in self-pity and pessimism. Some people here said to love her just for the sake of loving her, to expect no reward. But this is extremely difficult. As far as I know, she's not a family member nor a cherished friend that I've been with for so long. As cruel as it sounds, I don't believe I ower her anything anymore, and maybe it's for the best that our ships depart from course.
The tipping point is when I expressed some personal values that I seek to embody, she replied by laughing, and saying that the greatest thing I can do in life is to soothe the suffering of my loved ones, especially as she claims that I'm partially the cause of their suffering. She is talking about my mother here, it's as if she believes I'm mistreating my mother in some way. She disrespects values that I hold dear to my heart, and wishes to replace them with self-guilt and whatnot.
Now I don't know when to exactly break up with her. Should I do it now, tomorrow, or never? I don't want to hurt her, and I'm quite afraid that she'll use the event of a breakup to further her own convictions about how everyone abandoned her and how she deserves to be alone and depressed. In this way, I can't deny that I'd feel a sense of guilt, for further degrading a person's sense of worth. But why should I even care about this? Am I really responsible for the conclusions that she comes up with regarding her own life? Eh, I don't know when and how to act really, it's quite a delicate situation.