o/
I'm maybe at the same stage. Psychiatrists bombard my body with pills, and whilst I feel different (maybe more calm) it sort of... makes me realise more how fucked i am... i really like asmr videos, and i think lonely people like them too. but look at the view count. thousands upon thousands. i'm just another miserable person in an ocean of like minded people. the more i try to interact with others the more it seems that this is just life, and most people don't like it. i feel trapped and broken, but i think that's normal, and theres nothing you can do about it. everyone's acting. there's no reward. pretend to be happy. happiest person alive? doesn't matter. you don't win anything.