Venting I'm so tired of living this way. Might CTB soon.

[AprilsOrangeSpring]

I can't fucking stand the people that prevent me from CTB. I'm so tired. I'm so sick. I'm so done with this. I can't believe anyone would be so cruel and tell me they hope I continue living. I hope a meteor kills me and takes all these disgusting people away too. I fucking hate it here.

I wake up in pain everyday. I am always nauseous, always sick. I can't keep track of all the meds I take. None of it helps though. My legs, my feet, my joints, my heart, my head, my eyes, my body. It all hurts. I'm not even 25 and it all hurts. It hurts so bad.

An everytime I open up to someone about this, I get "just keep holding on to hope". i hate these people. It really makes me angry. It makes me angry, and sad, and pissed the fuck off.

I practically never cry, I'm so emotionally drained. This shit make the tears uncontrollable. This fucking cruel earth and its crueler inhabitants. I cant stand the people who make me feel guilty for feeling this way. Make me feel worthless, weak, selfish, deranged, dramatic.

I'm so tired, I can't even describe it any other way. I'm just so tired. I can't do it anymore. I wanted to wait. I wanted to get better, but I just cannot anymore.

I might try tomorrow. I will get some sleep and see, I just don't want it to be impulsive. I cant stand it because I vowed that I would wait.

I said I would wait until I could secure my family financially. I said I would wait until I moved, I said I would wait until my family is safe. I said I would wait until I'm safe. I can't fucking wait. I dont care, call me weak. I can't do it, I can't do this shit anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering, I understand why you'd feel so tired, it really sounds like you've suffered a lot and it must be so dreadful what you are going through. I also cannot stand those who believe in prolonging existence no matter what and are against the personal decision to die, it's terrible to me how insensitive they are.

 

[enough of this]

I can tell I'm getting a lot closer. It's going to be such a relief to leave the insanity of this world.

 

[Raven2]

Just through your words I can hear your despair. I'm sorry your in pain both emotionally and physically. I hope you can find peace.

 

[SMmetalhead36]

I can't fucking stand the people that prevent me from CTB. I'm so tired. I'm so sick. I'm so done with this. I can't believe anyone would be so cruel and tell me they hope I continue living. I hope a meteor kills me and takes all these disgusting people away too. I fucking hate it here.

I wake up in pain everyday. I am always nauseous, always sick. I can't keep track of all the meds I take. None of it helps though. My legs, my feet, my joints, my heart, my head, my eyes, my body. It all hurts. I'm not even 25 and it all hurts. It hurts so bad.

An everytime I open up to someone about this, I get "just keep holding on to hope". i hate these people. It really makes me angry. It makes me angry, and sad, and pissed the fuck off.

I practically never cry, I'm so emotionally drained. This shit make the tears uncontrollable. This fucking cruel earth and its crueler inhabitants. I cant stand the people who make me feel guilty for feeling this way. Make me feel worthless, weak, selfish, deranged, dramatic.

I'm so tired, I can't even describe it any other way. I'm just so tired. I can't do it anymore. I wanted to wait. I wanted to get better, but I just cannot anymore.

I might try tomorrow. I will get some sleep and see, I just don't want it to be impulsive. I cant stand it because I vowed that I would wait.

I said I would wait until I could secure my family financially. I said I would wait until I moved, I said I would wait until my family is safe. I said I would wait until I'm safe. I can't fucking wait. I dont care, call me weak. I can't do it, I can't do this shit anymore.

I understand this exact feeling. The "keep holding on to hope" sounds so dismissive. Wishing you the best.