Venting I'm scared, I'm such a coward

[pesicola]

I have the SN cup ready but I'm scared of dying. I'm scared of it going wrong and I ending up handicapped. When I think about it logically, there's no reason not to do it. But still, I feel scared of dying.

 

[wyo777]

It is normal. It is only easy to write about it. Maybe it is not Your time?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

You are not a coward. It's not like you're choosing a new hairdo.

Maybe think about it one more time?

 

[ADBoy777]

It's legitimate to fear death or failure don't blame yourself for it.

If it is failure you fear from try to be calculated and increase the chances of success, if it is AE, Benzos, Place where you can be alone and won't be found fast, whatever.

As for death I would try to figure out if death is what I wish for myself, if I really want to end it. Don't rush to commit try to think about it and understand where that fear comes from.

Hope it will somehow help you, best wishes

 

[pocket7]

I feel the same way. There is no point to live, but I can't put an end to the suffering. Something happened and I no longer feel the urge to end it. But it feels weird because my life is ruined. I don't know, I feel like I'm stuck.

 

[EternalSummer]

SN is not such an ez ride, although better than other alternatives, maybe you shouldn't do it today since you feel that way. Always trust your instincts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd also fear trying to die going wrong, it's truly so extremely cruel how people cannot just have the option of a guaranteed way to die in peace and instead have to worry about the possibility of worse suffering in the first place. All I wish for is a painless death like never waking again with no risks and complications involved.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Most share your thoughts. It's annoying that it can't be easier. Still, I have to do it.

 

[divinemistress87]

Its ok to wait dying is scary

 

[sugarb]

Failing and being handicapped is a legitimate fear. A different method might be better if this one scares you too much or seems too risky (in terms of surviving, that is).

Also- fear of death is an extremely primal thing! A coward wouldn't have even mixed the SN.

Wish you luck. <3

 

[Praestat_Mori]

You're not a coward! Are u still with us? How r u? You can stop your attempt and think about everything again and don't be too hard to yourself.

 

[pesicola]

Thanks for every reply, in the end I couldn't drink because I felt scared, I took a sip and dropped the cup on the ground. Nothing happened in a few hours, but I have a terrible headache. I can't get out of the bed and I feel tired, but I'm usually like this because of my depression.

I need to plan better and think more about how I am going to do this, because going against the survival instinct is very hard.

 

[EternalSummer]

Thanks for every reply, in the end I couldn't drink because I felt scared, I took a sip and dropped the cup on the ground. Nothing happened in a few hours, but I have a terrible headache. I can't get out of the bed and I feel tired, but I'm usually like this because of my depression.

I need to plan better and think more about how I am going to do this, because going against the survival instinct is very hard.

You should try using some benzos, it does a nice job of handling SI. Also makes you sleep faster.