I'm Scared and Don't Know What To Do

[lemonandcapers]

Maybe this is just medication withdrawal talking, but I am genuinely scared. I am losing touch with reality.

I cried for several hours today while I was at my parents' house. I couldn't breathe. Eating made me feel nauseous. I felt trapped inside of my room there.

I was so excited to CTB, but all of a sudden, I am just terrified of everything. I am so scared. The future scares me, not having a future scares me.

However, I know the reasons I would CTB are legitimate, and living through life would involve a lot of suffering.

I'm so scared right now and feel like crying.

It all started when I went back there. Maybe it's because I have PTSD from them.

I don't feel real right now or connected to reality, and it scares me so bad.

 

[Jisatsu]

Sounds like you're not actually disconnected from reality. Sounds like you're dissociating because you're overwhelmed. That feeling passes. It always does, even if it feels like you're stuck in it.

Just breathe for now. You don't have to solve the future right now. You don't have to commit to anything. You just have to get through this moment and let your system settle. You're not alone in this. I get it more than you think.