LittleAngel
When life gives you lemons, squeeze em into ur eye
- Jun 26, 2023
- 25
This is all speaking from my experience, but I cannot fathom why being truthful is now labeled as being 'delusional' or being an 'overthinker'.
Many times when I believe something is terribly wrong without 'solid' proof, I get turned down. "You're paranoid" is a phrase commonly associated with me, as I trust no one and will second guess somebodies intentions, no matter what they have done for me. I have one particular friend who's spent at least $150 on me, and I still cannot bring myself to trust them because I can feel their remarks in my head. I can tell they are judging, and I cannot love them wholly because of this. I had another friend whom I held to the same beliefs, except I did trust them a bit more, I even loved them, and today I found out my standard assumptions where right. I read with my own eyes the words spoken about me, the insults about my mental health, the hatred, everything. I am crushed, but I am not surprised. I am always right. Humans are backstabbers and not to be trusted. I have a deep fear of other beings, not 'social anxiety' (bullshit diagnosis), but I am afraid of them. I am scared of their words, thoughts, opinions, eyes, ect. This does not make me delusional, this makes me cautious, this makes me smarter than most. In my old therapy session, these thoughts of mine where labeled as 'thinking traps'. Why can one not just be safe? America normalizes risky living too much, I am tired of being seen as crazy for not wanting to be let down constantly.
Many times when I believe something is terribly wrong without 'solid' proof, I get turned down. "You're paranoid" is a phrase commonly associated with me, as I trust no one and will second guess somebodies intentions, no matter what they have done for me. I have one particular friend who's spent at least $150 on me, and I still cannot bring myself to trust them because I can feel their remarks in my head. I can tell they are judging, and I cannot love them wholly because of this. I had another friend whom I held to the same beliefs, except I did trust them a bit more, I even loved them, and today I found out my standard assumptions where right. I read with my own eyes the words spoken about me, the insults about my mental health, the hatred, everything. I am crushed, but I am not surprised. I am always right. Humans are backstabbers and not to be trusted. I have a deep fear of other beings, not 'social anxiety' (bullshit diagnosis), but I am afraid of them. I am scared of their words, thoughts, opinions, eyes, ect. This does not make me delusional, this makes me cautious, this makes me smarter than most. In my old therapy session, these thoughts of mine where labeled as 'thinking traps'. Why can one not just be safe? America normalizes risky living too much, I am tired of being seen as crazy for not wanting to be let down constantly.
