I'm One Resilient Ass Mathafucka

[GeorgeJL]

I overcame many health issues, I beat the almost insurmountable odds against me overcoming anxiety, severe depression, mental illness, hallucinations, being hospitalized several times, depersonalization, derealization, dehydration so bad they had to give me two bags of blood. Weighing only 96 pounds at 6 foot. Being on a liquid diet for years. I use to use a wheelchair and a cane for years. Being physically and mentally abused by my father. Being bullied by other kids throughout grammar school and some of HS. My brother's death at the young age of 35.

Since then I went to college for two years and had a 3.8 GPA which is an A average. Weigh 195 now.

Currently I'm working full time. Working on writing two books. Feel pretty good about where my life is headed. I wanna die when I'm an old man. Currently 37. Will marry a fine Thai lady and have children. I have a painless method ready to use in case my health goes south in the meantime. And when I can't go anymore in life I will make a goodbye thread, play my end of life Spotify playlist. Meditate, take some psychedelics, put on some incense. Then peacefully exit life.

Even though I have experienced the depths of hell I also have experienced the highest ecstasy of my life when I took the psychedelics 2c-b and 4-aco-dmt. I was rolling in sublime bliss for hours. It was a magical mystical experience. Alcohol, Molly, weed didn't even touch the feet of what I experienced that day.

Oh and I'll take out a life insurance policy and wait two years for the sucicde clause to expire before I ctb. Leaving my family millions. How is that for planing and being resilient?

Life can be beautiful in the midst of the storm depending on how you look at it.

Now write about that news media.

Tag @eve2004 @oxymoron @Meretlein
@Centerism
@friendly99

 

[Rachel74]

Life can be beautiful hence why I am sticking around. I have god awful shit days and good days and a day like yesterday where all we did was laugh.
I've done the life insurance thing too. I'm richer dead!

 

[Blackjack]

What painless method do you have ready to use if you need it?

 

[GeorgeJL]

What painless method do you have ready to use if you need it?

Nitrogen hood kit. I did have nembutal powder from Johnson but I believe a family member accidentally threw it out.

 

[Rachel74]

What painless method do you have ready to use if you need it?

N and like George said shelf life doesn't last and now my intentions have changed maybe time to let it go as I'm frightened I'll use it in a meltdown when I don't want to.

 

[GeorgeJL]

N and like George said shelf life doesn't last

What? Powdered nembutal lasts decades, nitrogen lasts decades if not centuries.

 

[Blackjack]

Nitrogen hood kit. I did have nembutal powder from Johnson but I believe a family member accidentally threw it out.

Nembutal powder from Johnson? Who's Johnson?

 

[Dubs]

Has the media been complaining about us? Any links?

 

[Rachel74]

Nembutal powder from Johnson? Who's Johnson?

I was thinking Johnson and Johnson that make baby products lol

 

[GeorgeJL]

Nembutal powder from Johnson? Who's Johnson?

Johnson use to sell N it use to be listed in the pph. Ok now let's stay in topic.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Has the media been complaining about us? Any links?

Yes look up Shawn shatto. She left her browser open. Ok let's stay on topic .

 

[wendydong1]

What kind of life insurance would still pay out if you killed yourself?

 

[Berlin76]

Thats one hell of a story
You have gone a long way my friend.

 

[White_Room293]

Johnson use to sell N it use to be listed in the pph. Ok now let's stay in topic.

There is no topic in this thread. It's just you telling us about your life lol but I'm glad you're happy

 

[GeorgeJL]

What kind of life insurance would still pay out if you killed yourself?

You need to find out when the "suicide clause expires." it's usually two years. Google it. Ok let's stay on topic.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I was thinking Johnson and Johnson that make baby products lol

Lol Johnson and Johnson sodium pentobarbitol in Boots the chemist.

Back on topic glad your are doing well George.

 

[Rachel74]

Lol Johnson and Johnson sodium pentobarbitol in Boots the chemist.

Back on topic glad your are doing well George.

That did make me laugh!

 

[Lethe]

Lemme have a few million, Georgie boy~

Just a couple is fine...

 

[BlessedOffal]

Wow. That's some perspective.

How old were you when you got out of hell?

 

[Rachel74]

You need to find out when the "suicide clause expires." it's usually two years. Google it. Ok let's stay on topic.

It's 2 years on the one I've taken out in the uk but unsure of other countries but do read the clause. If they don't have to pay out then they won't.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Wow. That's some perspective.

How old were you when you got out of hell?

Well I got better around 33 years of age, so 4 years ago. The doctor's found 2 medications that gave my life back.

 

[Sadwind]

T

Well I got better around 33 years of age, so 4 years ago. The doctor's found 2 medications that gave my life back.

this gives me hope. Currently on a drug that is giving me my life back, a little fucked up but still, a life. You inspire me. I hope to get some of my life back and then if the drugs stop working, I'll have an exit plan.

Really smart stuff. Best wishes.

 

[Centerism]

@GeorgeJL

You touched me deep inside just now.

You basically sang my song. And I listened intensively.

I too am a self described psychonaut. I love psychedelics and believe they can be truly healing if taken with care. I've used 4-aco-dmt and find it comparible to mushrooms, considering the chemical value is basically the same, both containing psylocin. 2-cb is interesting, not my first choice by far. My mystical profile contains basic and powerful 5-mei-dmt, vaporized correctly you can "break through" and experience the true spiritual value of what ego-loss and spirit contact are like. Ayahuasca is another of my favorites. It's light, and powerful all at the same time. It allows you to talk to the spirit of the chemical, n,n dmt, mother aya. She is kind, nurturing, gentle, and loving all at the same time.

I consider this mortal realm to be nothing more than a plane for demise, pain. There's a reason we all are or have been suicidal. And it's not because this world is a teddy bear. The belief that we can become more than what our mortal bodies possess is the consideration of beauty. Psychedelic can help you reach that spirit world. The world where pain does not exist.

I'm a Wiccan, and part of my belief system contains the belief that when we leave this mortal realm, we will become the energy of mother gaia's inner being. We eventually become mortal again, through resurrection, in one of thousands of forms. Basically, we are eternal. Living through the spirit of Gaia, becoming an eternal child of our goddess. Existing only for the energy we as a whole bring to this pregnant world.

This is our mother,
Y


I too have a method, a painless one, to fall back on if my life once again becomes unbearable/unmanageable. Or if my health does begin to fail again, I will take fate into my own hands. I refuse to die in a hospital bed with tubes and wires connected to me while my friends and family sit back helplessly crying. I want people to know I went on my own terms, happily, and peacefully.

This world can be truly cruel, truly diabolical. There's a upside to it though. If we learn to consider life as a journey to be loved and not forsaken we can allow ourselves to live. Permanently, until we do decide it's come to an end.

There is love in the air with this post. George is a great person, he really exudes honesty, compassion, bluntness, and intelligence through his threads and comments. I think we should all give him a hand for being one of the best mod's. We love you George.

To everyone here. I love you, and care for you. You're amazing. Keep your heads up, reach for the stars.

 

[GeorgeJL]

@GeorgeJL

You touched me deep inside just now.

You basically sang my song. And I listened intensively.

I too am a self described psychonaut. I love psychedelics and believe they can be truly healing if taken with care. I've used 4-aco-dmt and find it comparible to mushrooms, considering the chemical value is basically the same, both containing psylocin. 2-cb is interesting, not my first choice by far. My mystical profile contains basic and powerful 5-mei-dmt, vaporized correctly you can "break through" and experience the true spiritual value of what ego-loss and spirit contact are like. Ayahuasca is another of my favorites. It's light, and powerful all at the same time. It allows you to talk to the spirit of the chemical, n,n dmt, mother aya. She is kind, nurturing, gentle, and loving all at the same time.

I consider this mortal realm to be nothing more than a plane for demise, pain. There's a reason we all are or have been suicidal. And it's not because this world is a teddy bear. The belief that we can become more than what our mortal bodies possess is the consideration of beauty. Psychedelic can help you reach that spirit world. The world where pain does not exist.

I'm a Wiccan, and part of my belief system contains the belief that when we leave this mortal realm, we will become the energy of mother gaia's inner being. We eventually become mortal again, through resurrection, in one of thousands of forms. Basically, we are eternal. Living through the spirit of Gaia, becoming an eternal child of our goddess. Existing only for the energy we as a whole bring to this pregnant world.

This is our mother,
YView attachment 17089


I too have a method, a painless one, to fall back on if my life once again becomes unbearable/unmanageable. Or if my health does begin to fail again, I will take fate into my own hands. I refuse to die in a hospital bed with tubes and wires connected to me while my friends and family sit back helplessly crying. I want people to know I went on my own terms, happily, and peacefully.

This world can be truly cruel, truly diabolical. There's a upside to it though. If we learn to consider life as a journey to be loved and not forsaken we can allow ourselves to live. Permanently, until we do decide it's come to an end.

There is love in the air with this post. George is a great person, he really exudes honesty, compassion, bluntness, and intelligence through his threads and comments. I think we should all give him a hand for being one of the best mod's. We love you George.

To everyone here. I love you, and care for you. You're amazing. Keep your heads up, reach for the stars.

Thanks for the support and kindness. Nice to see someone see my journey for what it is without getting only caught up in the specifics.

And yes welcome to a rare club of people that have a suicide method with no forseeable exit date?

Though I wouldn't describe Ayahuasca as only loving, it can be unforgiving if you have a big ego, but I get your point.

 

[AnnaJaspers]

I commend you on your amazing resiliency; however, do you really want to bring more beings onto this godforsaken planet?

You mentioned having children. I can't emphasize enough how selfish that is.

 

[White_Room293]

I commend you on your amazing resiliency; however, do you really want to bring more beings onto this godforsaken planet?

You mentioned having children. I can't emphasize enough how selfish that is.

You're not allowed to say someone's opinions are stupid around here. blaaah blah blah. Do yourself a favor and call whoever you want an idiot in your head unless you want a ban hammer on probably one of the only suicide forums on the internet not including the dark web

 

[GeorgeJL]

I commend you on your amazing resiliency; however, do you really want to bring more beings onto this godforsaken planet?

You mentioned having children. I can't emphasize enough how selfish that is.

From the dust of our hardships will arise a new age and a whole new species with new bodies that don't have the problems we have.

The question you should be asking me is am I going to raise my children to be greater than me?

 

[GeorgeJL]

You're not allowed to say someone's opinions are stupid around here. blaaah blah blah. Do yourself a favor and call whoever you want an idiot in your head

It's ok I got this?

 

[White_Room293]

It's ok I got this?

I'm not defending you. He's completely right.

 

[omoidarui]

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Nitrogen hood kit. I did have nembutal powder from Johnson but I believe a family member accidentally threw it out.

so glad for u not just how things have turned out, but that also you've found a new reliable method should you need it.