I'm officially in recovery because I can't take SN as my suicide would break my mum :(

[heretogethelp]

I can't do it as my mum will intercept the SN. Even if she doesn't, she will be heartbroken & probably never recover if i commit suicide :(
So for all intents & purposes, i'm stuck here.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I'm so sorry...the road to recovery can be long and hard. If you ever need someone to talk to, I have two perfectly working ears ( eyes)

I wish you strength!

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be a really hard situation to be in, feeling like you are trapped on this earth
I wish you well.

 

[WornOutLife]

Same here but with my dad!
If I ctb, he'll be unhappy for the rest of his days or just have a heart-attack or stroke. Horrible!!!

 

[ihnaus419]

I think about my parents a lot too and to be honest, I don't know if my mum would ever get over it. I think it would ruin her life. Especially today, I just want to die so badly and to be at peace, but I don't want her to have to suffer through that. She is always happy to talk to me and I can be honest with her and rant about things I just can't to other people. She is the only person that really tries to understand me. Although, I don't feel "stuck" because it's ultimately my choice whether to CTB and she wouldn't be able to stop me, especially since we don't live under the same roof.

She made a lot of bad decisions in my childhood, but she's changed a lot and has been a better mother to me in the past year than she ever was before, so I've chosen to forgive her for the past. If my parents weren't around I would've CTB years ago.

 

[heretogethelp]

I can't do it as my mum will intercept the SN. Even if she doesn't, she will be heartbroken & probably never recover if i commit suicide :(
So for all intents & purposes, i'm stuck here.

I've changed my mind. Maybe, I'll be able to do it. Maybe not. I'll just have to wait until I have enough money in my debit card account to order SN.