Venting I'm not suicidal, I just don't want to live

[peerlesscucumber]

I know this may sound like some kind of suicide idealization, but I don't think it's the same.
I've been actively planning my suicide and I have also attempted before.

I do have some mental issues, that I won't deny, but I am fully aware that I would be able to live a normal life even with these.

I just feel like I don't want to live. It's not too much pressure, it's not stress or sadness, I just don't want to.
Like when you don't want to eat because you're not hungry, or when you don't want to sleep because you're not tired.

I have great grades, I have a normal life, my family loves me, my friends do too (not that I care), I wouldn't say I'm ugly, and my health is relatively good. There's no logical answer for me to not want to live, it's just a mere feeling that I don't belong here, that life isn't something my soul should have been blessed with.

 

[danzk]

I know this may sound like some kind of suicide idealization, but I don't think it's the same.
I've been actively planning my suicide and I have also attempted before.

I do have some mental issues, that I won't deny, but I am fully aware that I would be able to live a normal life even with these.

I just feel like I don't want to live. It's not too much pressure, it's not stress or sadness, I just don't want to.
Like when you don't want to eat because you're not hungry, or when you don't want to sleep because you're not tired.

I have great grades, I have a normal life, my family loves me, my friends do too (not that I care), I wouldn't say I'm ugly, and my health is relatively good. There's no logical answer for me to not want to live, it'd just a mere feeling that I don't belong here, that life isn't something my sould should have been blessed with.

It's not your fault for feeling this way, maybe you're mentally ill, the right thing to do would be to seek psychological help.

 

[sos]

fully understandable and your last few words pretty much sums it up

"it'd just a mere feeling that I don't belong here, that life isn't something my sould should have been blessed with."

i bet it is somewhat confusing for yourself to be dealing with this feeling. to be in a world where you don't feel a part of

 

[peerlesscucumber]

It's not your fault for feeling this way, maybe you're mentally ill, the right thing to do would be to seek psychological help.

Ahhh I've tried, but turns out I'm a very nervous person when it comes to talking about my issues and I compulsively puke whenever Im forced into one of these situations. Not to mention just how expensive psychological help is in my country