Venting Im never gonna have any friends

[nys]

This is such a dumb vent & what happened is rlly trivial & doesnt even matter so idk why I'm even posting this, but here it is:

I've been a part of this group chat since sept/oct 2021. In it there were a lot of ppl in the same classes I was taking, & theyre all friends with each other but I dont rlly have any friends so Im not friends with them. They were more like acquaintances to me but they were friendly to me & I stupidly naively thought that me being in a gc with them was a sign that some of them could be my friends soon. Like it meant they wanted to hang out with me & liked me

It felt nice to be a part of the group chat bc I like to feel included. The chat was always active & whenever I felt bad I'd go on it & see what everyone else was doing & chatting abt & I'd feel more connected to ppl. Like it helped me feel less alone. But now Im pretty sure they didnt add me to the gc bc they actually liked me but bc they wanted to be polite

Today they wanted to add someone else to the gc so they kicked me bc there wasnt enough space. I was the first person they thought of kicking, probably bc Im rlly shy & none of them like me bc of that (I dont blame them bc I literally barely ever talk). I rlly wanna be included in the gc again but I dont wanna be annoying & clingy or anything

Idk why im feeling so bad abt being kicked lol bc it makes perfect sense- I'd do the same if I were them. I guess its just a reminder that no one likes me & I'm never gonna have any friends no matter how much I try

Todays also my birthday & none of them seemed to remember & no one texted me "Happy birthday" or something like that. Again i know it doesnt rlly make sense to feel this bad over something so minor but it still hurts to not be remembered or cared abt & to be excluded like that bc I rlly thought they liked hanging out with me & wanted to be friends with me

 

[Jrmull1993]

@nys Sorry to hear about that. Even if it's a trivial thing on their side, I understand how it can cause pain emotionally.

I'm not entirely sure how to go about reconnecting with the entire group, but the only thing that came to my mind was to reach out to one person from the group (whomever you liked most) and just ask if they want to grab a drink or bite to eat, worst that can happen is they say no.

If you get someone to say yes, you can casually bring up the group chat, and mention that you appreciated being in it.

If you don't mind me asking, did you actively chat with the group, or were you just an observer? If you never sent any messages, they might have assumed you weren't interested.

 

[Zzzzz]

I've noticed people are extremely selective about who they spend their time with or speak to. I have virtually zero friends among my own family. I feel very much alone among my own relatives. And everywhere I go.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

Idk if it helps but here's at least one person wishing you a very happy birthday . Treat yourself to something nice! I hope life improves for you.

I relate with what you say. To me the world seems full of cliques none of which I'm able to penetrate despite a lot of effort. I also never had any friends, real or online. Just acquaintances (forced by work/study etc) who lose interest shortly and move away. The "only person to be excluded from a group thing" incident has happened to me so many times in different ways. I don't blame them of course, they're the normal ones and I'm the one that's abnormal. I just wish I knew why. Oddly enough I sometimes get the same feeling about cliquey-ness even here on this forum.

 

[Disappointered]

I get the feeling that real friendships are getting scarcer due to the inherent bullshit on which wokeism is founded.

The only "friends" I ever had turned out to just be part of an exclusionary tribe that advances its interests by lying and undermining everyone else's. I was in the "everyone else" category as well as a visible minority: bingo, that's a useful prop for said "friends". They're disgusting and will bring the world to a very dark place.

It's hard work being a loser and an outcast, especially when its full scope and true causes are systematically obfuscated. Sadly, it's even harder work getting to ctb. But that is the rational response. Thanks be given to all those who founded and sustain this site. May we all find peace.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry this has happened. It would have upset me too. I think we all search for belonging at some point. I'm shy too and I get it- there are moments in life that make you feel like you might be able to live a 'normal' life and become part of a group like everyone else. Then, something like this happens to slap you in the face.

Someone once said to me it was about finding 'your tribe'- people who have the same interests as you and that it doesn't take effort to be around. It may be that you need to find these people to feel like you fit in.

Not to say that there's no hope in re-integrating back into this group- it's just that they sound kind of fickle if they just drop people for others just like that. Still, I guess that's sadly the way of the world.

Happy birthday by the way. Sorry it's not a great one.

 

[Marktheghost]

Happy birthday

 

[Lily (Osako)]

I'm so sorry. This breaks my heart.
Sending you a big hug and belated happy birthday.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

I feel you. I am in the same boat. Once my use has ran out they just go away. The only time they come around is when they want something or need to vent then they go away again. Tired of the fakeness of people. Trying different things to go some exposure for the vain hope that someone would like in your life, make memories and have fun....but nope. Always something stupid why no one wants that from us. So very tired from trying. Struggling for over a decade to find a stable friendship, but I am getting to the point where I am done. My wings are shattered, heart massacred and soul annhilated. I hope you had a decent birthday. You know.. when we are young Bdays get celebrated greatly, but when we are older...no one gives a shit. Just another day for me. I just get smashed and cry to some phil collins on mine. Shouldn't be this way.

 

[nys]

@nys Sorry to hear about that. Even if it's a trivial thing on their side, I understand how it can cause pain emotionally.

I'm not entirely sure how to go about reconnecting with the entire group, but the only thing that came to my mind was to reach out to one person from the group (whomever you liked most) and just ask if they want to grab a drink or bite to eat, worst that can happen is they say no.

If you get someone to say yes, you can casually bring up the group chat, and mention that you appreciated being in it.

If you don't mind me asking, did you actively chat with the group, or were you just an observer? If you never sent any messages, they might have assumed you weren't interested.

I mostly observed. During the school year when some of them wanted homework answers, or when someone new was added to the gc & I didnt know who they were, I'd send a msg, but I was probably the least active person in it. I guess that might have made me seem uninterested in them or something

 

[Darkover]

i've never had any real friends except when i was at school 36 years old now

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, people can be very disappointing and unreliable. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. Life is just too unfair and none of us should ever have to suffer.

 

[Lost21]

Happy Birthday Feel free to chat with me . I am also a fellow loner