I'm more ashamed and I'm sorry

[Jezzibell]

This forum, and my question on another post about people's reasons have truly humbled me. I'm even more ashamed than ever before of myself. There are people dealing with so much.physical and mental distress. Whilst I may suffer both of these, it is totally self inflicted. My reasons to ctb are from cowardice and shame. How superficial. I just want to apologise to everyone. I would be angry at me for being so shallow. Seriously sorry.

 

[Amaterasu]

You have absolutely nothing to apologise for, your reasoning is just as valid as anyone elses here.

 

[pickajack]

Life is complicated and painful for lots of different reasons. I relate to your comment. I've been handed a lot in my life and people suffer some horrific shit. Not sure it's helpful or valid to try and compare in this way though.

Especially not if it results in more shame. Shame is not superficial. It fucking sucks.

Anyway, sending you some encouragement. Not sure what your time zone is but I just pushed myself to eat some breakfast and it was the right thing to do.

 

[kwho]

This forum, and my question on another post about people's reasons have truly humbled me. I'm even more ashamed than ever before of myself. There are people dealing with so much.physical and mental distress. Whilst I may suffer both of these, it is totally self inflicted. My reasons to ctb are from cowardice and shame. How superficial. I just want to apologise to everyone. I would be angry at me for being so shallow. Seriously sorry.

The fact that you feel this so intensely just shows how beautiful you are, you little angel.

 

[Huntfish34]

I can certainly understand and agree with what you said. LIke others have mentioned,.... Everyone is different with their own reasons, no matter what they are. No need for apologies , but I get it. You are Not alone .

Take care of yourself if possible, Godspeed -

 

[CentreMid]

This forum, and my question on another post about people's reasons have truly humbled me. I'm even more ashamed than ever before of myself. There are people dealing with so much.physical and mental distress. Whilst I may suffer both of these, it is totally self inflicted. My reasons to ctb are from cowardice and shame. How superficial. I just want to apologise to everyone. I would be angry at me for being so shallow. Seriously sorry.

I understand why you would feel this way, but if it's any consolation, I don't think any reason is "too big" or "too small" to ctb or want to ctb. People die for all sorts of reasons, some of them lead "healthy" lives and still choose to die.

Your reason for wanting to ctb is absolutely valid, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Take care

 

[Worndown]

Everyone has internal demons and external problems. Everyone is able to cope with these issues at different levels. We cannot accurately weigh another's problems and the stresses they endure.
Communication here is important. Everyone shares and supports one another. To you, your problems are great. That is all that matters.

 

[FuneralCry]

I never understand the people who go on about suicide needing a valid reason when the reality is that we are all destined to die whether there is a reason behind it or not. Continuing to exist here could never be an obligation no matter what and I think that all suffering is valid. Suicide is a human right, not a privledge only reserved for certain people that needs to be earned, to suggest such a thing is absurd to me.

 

[EmpathyMinded]

You have nothing to apologize for or to be ashamed of. Just because the conditions others are dealing with could be argued to be "objectively worse" doesn't change that your pain is real for you. If it is severe enough in how you experience it to make you consider CTB, who the fuck cares where it comes from, that is absolutely real.

Think of it like feeling hungry. Just because there are kids in other countries or wherever that are literally starving to death, doesn't mean hunger you experience isn't valid or doesn't matter. And it's not like caring about what you are dealing with stops you from being able to care about others anyway.

If anything, sharing your pain is a gift, not a nuisance or burden. You are giving people who are suffering in their own way something and someone to connect to. A bridge for them to cross and find common ground. It may come from something ugly, but it at least is builds to something meaningful. That matters. You matter. And you matter to us.

The only mistake you've made is being sorry for being human. Don't be.

 

[dannysgrave]

Your reasons for being here are just as valid as everyone else's. No one's trauma is "bigger" or "smaller" it's all trauma no matter if it's self inflicted or not. We all experience it differently and it impacts each of us differently as well.

 

[AsAboveSoBelow]

This forum, and my question on another post about people's reasons have truly humbled me. I'm even more ashamed than ever before of myself. There are people dealing with so much.physical and mental distress. Whilst I may suffer both of these, it is totally self inflicted. My reasons to ctb are from cowardice and shame. How superficial. I just want to apologise to everyone. I would be angry at me for being so shallow. Seriously sorry.

i dont think u need to apologise for feeling how u do, let alone feel ashamed. no experience of individual suffering or mental anguish is comparable. everyone's diff and thats okay, we all got diff lives with diff challenges

 

[OceanBlue]

Once you're born, you're in a serious predicament. Some people definitely suffer more than others, but that does not make your problems less real - you're still an animal in prison, I suppose we're like a zoo.

You seem sweet for sure.