Venting I'm like a dead shell

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm a living dead shell, rotting at home, with no hope for a suitable recovery. Failure in life killed me. Dead enough for a terrible life, yet too much alive and not being able to just CTB.

 

[iloverachel]

I am here with you. Also rotting at home every day

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm like a dead shell too. I am really unattached to humanity as a whole. I don't have any interests or anything that I want to voluntarily do. Everything that I do in life is done because I'm forced to, not because I want to. Living like this is no way to live and I believe that I deserve euthanasia because I don't even enjoy living to begin with. I hate at how the only method that I can access to is drowning

 

[tbroken]

I'm in your same situation. There's a part of me who wants to live, but the other part just cannot be in peace with itself and this sh*t you can't call life. But SN is here, one day or another I'll have the right inspiration to drink my last cocktail.

Btw, this isolation is becoming really unealthy for me, but it is like it is... Also i already tried recovery and it didn't went well, because i knew I was just existing while being extremely frustrated. I'm not an idiot, an incel or a simp.. living like this is pure hell. But peace will come.

 

[rozeske]

Same! Am also rotting at home over here waiting for the sweet release of death.

 

[vak]

I know the feeling, and I understand what it's like to live with feeling like a failure I think I closed too many books while preparing for CTB, never to reopen them. I'm just going through the motions, like a small boat in a vast ocean. They say time is the great healer... I'm not sure about that, but maybe that's where our hope is waiting for us? I wish for this to happen to you, you're a good person and deserve to get better

 

[Unknown21]

I'm a living dead shell, rotting at home, with no hope for a suitable recovery. Failure in life killed me. Dead enough for a terrible life, yet too much alive and not being able to just CTB.

Rotting at home as well, no hope, no energy, no money.

 

[vitbar]

Same, though I work and do have some hobbies. Struggling to face the things in the way of a life worth living.

 

[rollingthunder]

Me too, all I do is wake up, go to work, get home, smoke weed and play video games, and go to sleep, to do it all over again the next day. The days I don't work I usually just stay in bed all day and do nothing. I have no hobbies or interests anymore. My ex left me, my friends left me. I was unable to complete college and dropped out and I don't want to go back. I used to have a lot of dreams; now I just look forward to when my sleeping meds finally knock me out and I can be blissfully unconscious for a little while. I just wish I didn't have to wake up.

 

[Dark Moon]

I'm a living dead shell, rotting at home, with no hope for a suitable recovery. Failure in life killed me. Dead enough for a terrible life, yet too much alive and not being able to just CTB.

The same is true for me, I just can't pull the trigger for fear of failure and lack of available methods.

 

[Illegal Preclear]

At least we're all rotting together. I actually can't remember the last time I left my house. I'm getting closer to being able to finally do it, but it's an inner battle. It's an inner battle for all of us, since we all have a subconscious mind, and in that subconscious mind is SI - so two halves of ourselves are literally at war with each other - the logical and illogical. SI lives in the subconscious, illogical side. Chaotic, and hard to overcome.

 

[hopeless08]

I'm a living dead shell, rotting at home, with no hope for a suitable recovery. Failure in life killed me. Dead enough for a terrible life, yet too much alive and not being able to just CTB.

I'm sorry to hear you're not doing well.
We're in the same boat I've been rotting in bed for a while. I hope somehow you'll be able to feel better about yourself

 

[sukiduki]

i feel the same. if you wanna get better, i hope you do. and if you don't, i hope you are able to find a way out peacefully. it's hard :/