Venting I'm in Hell

[Daxter_87]

I'm suffering immensely, this is fucking horrible. I hardly sleep, I eat twice a day - forget breakfast - I do nothing. Absolutely nothing but suffer all fucking day long. This is not to belittle the pain of others at all, but even here people talk about doing stuff, whether it's watching TV, playing games, listening to music, etc. I do none of that. I just fucking suffer because it takes forever to eat a meal or do whatever other basic things need to be done, or because I'm seriously disturbed and upset by any sound, like my dog barking like hell or my father hammering or whatever the fuck he's doing. And now it's much worse than ever, and before it was really bad. So, the badness of before multiplied by a thousand. How fucking great!

And then MDS gets shut down, and I couldn't even order my SN because of the payment methods. We'll see how it goes. I need a way out of this fucking hell. I might even hang myself, not with a rope, but with my bare fucking hands! Or asphyxiate myself with my pillow. God-damn, this shit sucks so bad I want to slit my throat or commit harakiri! And the worst part about life is that it can always get worse. Isn't that charming?

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I have very similar tendencies. I suspect it is due to a combination of mild autism spectrum and high functioning anxiety. Aggressive noises make me so jumpy. That's why I can't stand all of these asshole rice rocket drivers and Harley riders driving around with maliciously-loud modded exhausts. When the source of the noise is someone I know, like family or coworkers, it can be paralyzing. My ADHD makes doing the most menial tasks, such as doing laundry, pretty much impossible.

If it wasn't for my Adderall scrip, I would probably wouldn't get out of bed either. I hear about other people that do things like play in intramural sports leagues or watch all these shows on NetFlix, and I wonder how they even have the time or energy. I don't wat to do anything. I just want to die. I am so jealous of dead people.

 

[divinemistress36]

I can't handle noise either it makes me want to ctb even more

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really horrible and torturous what you go through, it truly is such a hellish existence where people have to suffer so much yet with no straightforward way to die in peace. It's evil to me how this society is so incredibly anti-suicide even know there is literally no limit as to how much agony one can feel in this cruel and futile existence but anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.