Venting I’m going to kill myself tomorrow

[Mustkeyknow]

I don't know for how long I'm gonna be saying this but I'm so fucking stupid! My life is ruineeeed oh my fucking god! Why me? Why am I so stupid why did I have to born in this family? We're so poor I can't fucking function anymore.

I got a new job and everyone is so young and passionate about what they're doing. Meanwhile all these years I've been concerned about looks and weed. I don't know what I was expecting. I'm making minimum wage and the chances of me going back to school are slim as fuck.

I fucking loathe everyone around me. I am so upset no amount of antidepressants will do the trick. I just wanna hang myself right now.

The truth is I could've been a software developer but NO I had to go for finance in a career that ultimately went absolutely nowhere. It feels like I could've been well positioned in my career right now but I just, I will never know. I lost in life. I fucked up.

I'm gonna hang myself. Chris Cornell style. Fuck SN I deserve to suffer for being so mindnumbingly stupid.

I am so mad, I can't do this anymore I wanna fucking cut myself.

Somebody shoot me please.

 

[jgm63]

Sorry to hear what you're going through.

If you start at the bottom, but dedicate yourself to whatever you are doing, have patience, and play the "long game", it might be possible to make a big success out of where you are now, but it would require you to surrender to the situation, and decide to make the very best of it....
You would need to really put everything into absorbing as much knowledge as you can. This would be very demanding, but in 1 year from now you could be light years ahead of where you are currently..... Note : But don't try to "beat" others, that will only drain your spiritual energy. Just be the best you that you can. And learn to deal with negative people (which you will always encounter) skillfully - an art that takes a while to master (years actually), by never sinking to their level, and returning love in exchange for hate (a very disarming thing, and empowering for you), but don't always expect a "perfect outcome" from that, so don't be disheartened. Sometimes, when negative waves hit, we can only do our best, "hold on" as best we can, and ride out the storm.....

And in general, keep in mind that it may well be a "bumpy ride", so don't kid yourself that a positive mindset will "make all the problems go away". It almost certainly won't be that simple....

However, only you know of course whether you could bring yourself to act on that idea.....

Wishing you the very best, anyhow, and you have my support whatever you decide.....

 

[Thebuddhacel]

I think hanging is not so painful as people say. It will be my method.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Sorry to hear what you're going through.

If you start at the bottom, but dedicate yourself to whatever you are doing, have patience, and play the "long game", it might be possible to make a big success out of where you are now, but it would require you to surrender to the situation, and decide to make the very best of it....
You would need to really put everything into absorbing as much knowledge as you can. This would be very demanding, but in 1 year from now you could be light years ahead of where you are currently.....

However, only you know of course whether you could bring yourself to act on that idea.....

Wishing you the very best, anyhow, and you have my support whatever you decide.....

This is some solid advice, your words calm me in a way I can't explain. Thank you.

 

[All an illusion]

I'm sorry to hear that...i don't wish that you leave us...but if you decide to do so i wish you eternal peace and happiness in your transition.

 

[jgm63]

This is some solid advice, your words calm me in a way I can't explain. Thank you.

Glad to be of service. I edited my reply with a couple of other points that may also help, so perhaps have a re-read if you like...

 

[randomz]

I understand how you feel. I myself feel like you. Complete and utter failure in life but you gotta admit that we should not estimate our worth by what society norms have established. We should establish one's worth by his deeds and his behaviour towards the world around them. Yes you might not be making a lot of money but who cares? You still make enough to eat and maybe buy yourself something nice every now and then.
I once heard this quote, I think Roosevelt said it but I am not sure "comparison is the thief of all joy". Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone lives at their own pace and has his own problems. Enjoy the little things because they are what matter.
I hope everything turns out great for you.
@Mustkeyknow