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Crematoryy

Crematoryy

Wandering endlessly
Feb 12, 2025
157
My heart is aching as I write this. How long has it been? Two years since I first announced this would happen? This cardiovascular pain will kill me. Throughout my life I've had to resort to pornography and masturbation to have even the slightest sexual contact with women. It's always been lonely; no one has ever loved me; no one even knows I exist. I think when I finish writing I'll call an ambulance. My loneliness will be the cause of my pain. My addiction was a coping mechanism for the emptiness, for the suffering. Every day I wished I had someone by my side. I dreamed of it. Maybe the world will finally deny me one last time.
 
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goldenwitch

goldenwitch

Sleep peacefully, my most beloved witch, Beatrice.
Jan 18, 2026
36
What definitely helped me was trying to jerk off exclusively to my thoughts, no external influences allowed. The stimulation remains so you don't get withdrawal symptoms that are too bad but it's a good first step towards getting just a bit better. Though I have my ups and downs I'm definitely waaay better than how I used to be like. And once you actually start masturbating less your soul begins to heal a bit more. Which could allow you to finally find someone to share your life with.
 
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ghost-shock

ghost-shock

Member
Oct 21, 2024
66
What definitely helped me was trying to jerk off exclusively to my thoughts, no external influences allowed. The stimulation remains so you don't get withdrawal symptoms that are too bad but it's a good first step towards getting just a bit better. Though I have my ups and downs I'm definitely waaay better than how I used to be like. And once you actually start masturbating less your soul begins to heal a bit more. Which could allow you to finally find someone to share your life with.
Ive tried this but its just not for me. Thoughts dont get you to finish. Also when someone's inexperienced its extremely difficult to imagine the sensation of human touch and desire when you havent/barely felt it. I literally couldn't imagine human touch in my thoughts when i was a virgin. So it just caused self pleasure to become very frustrating. Some people need physical and visual stimuli to finish. Iam one of those people. If im not getting it physically then im going to have to get it visually.
 
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A

Always-in-trouble

Member
Jan 14, 2026
41
What definitely helped me was trying to jerk off exclusively to my thoughts, no external influences allowed. The stimulation remains so you don't get withdrawal symptoms that are too bad but it's a good first step towards getting just a bit better. Though I have my ups and downs I'm definitely waaay better than how I used to be like. And once you actually start masturbating less your soul begins to heal a bit more. Which could allow you to finally find someone to share your life with.
I feel like when you are a porn addict it is just better to go cold turkey for a short while (or fully) then try with thoughts as you would be jacking off to to the material in your head. I have this problem.
 
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PI3.14

PI3.14

what is chaos to the fly is normal to the spider
Oct 4, 2024
528
Pornography is bad, really really bad.

It will only intensify your depression. Masturbating is ok though as long as it's not associated with porn.

Something I don't see it talked about much is masturbating to relieve stress, not sure if that's healthy in the long term.

If you're doing it so much, like literally everyday and perhaps multiple times a day, then that's addiction. Try to at least drop the porn, it only makes you more depressed anyways so what's the point of it?
 
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Crematoryy

Crematoryy

Wandering endlessly
Feb 12, 2025
157
You all misunderstood me. I developed a heart condition from excessive cerebral orgasms. Study the physiology of orgasm and you'll see that blood vessels dilate during ecstasy. I did this compulsively for years, and now I'm extremely debilitated. I blame this world for my failure. If it had provided me with a partner, a girlfriend, as it does for other people, I would never have had these problems. I don't know how long I'll last since I'm addicted, and my addiction is leading me to death.

It's definitely not a metaphor, a hyperbole. It's literal.
 
fadedghost

fadedghost

Found SaSu after reading BBC & watching YouTube
Dec 10, 2025
246
You all misunderstood me. I developed a heart condition from excessive cerebral orgasms. Study the physiology of orgasm and you'll see that blood vessels dilate during ecstasy. I did this compulsively for years, and now I'm extremely debilitated. I blame this world for my failure. If it had provided me with a partner, a girlfriend, as it does for other people, I would never have had these problems. I don't know how long I'll last since I'm addicted, and my addiction is leading me to death.

It's definitely not a metaphor, a hyperbole. It's literal.
Did you have any other co-occuring disorders? I've never heard of too many orgasms causing a heart condition. Were you also exercising and eating healthy? It's hard for me to believe. Is there any medical literature showing this can happen?

I feel like the whole "porn is evil and bad for you" is something that pretty and handsome people, who lack empathy for less attractive people, say because of religious reasons, or sometimes religious people just say that because they are indoctrinated into fantasy beliefs about a non-existent spiritual world of make believe.
Pornography is bad, really really bad.

It will only intensify your depression. Masturbating is ok though as long as it's not associated with porn.

Something I don't see it talked about much is masturbating to relieve stress, not sure if that's healthy in the long term.

If you're doing it so much, like literally everyday and perhaps multiple times a day, then that's addiction. Try to at least drop the porn, it only makes you more depressed anyways so what's the point of it?
I disagree with this, having sex with people is a normal part of human existence and when a person isn't having sex, they are going to get depressed no matter what unless they are very old or very religious. Normal people need sex to function normally. For people who are involuntarily celibate, I don't think that if you take away the porn, the result is going to be happiness; the result is just going to be even more misery. A lot of time these anti-porn crusaders just hate that some men and women are willing to take off their clothes for money and it grosses them out; it's a prudish judgemental reaction to empathy for people who are not able to find someone.
 
GoSan1

GoSan1

Misfit
Nov 7, 2024
331
My heart is aching as I write this. How long has it been? Two years since I first announced this would happen? This cardiovascular pain will kill me. Throughout my life I've had to resort to pornography and masturbation to have even the slightest sexual contact with women. It's always been lonely; no one has ever loved me; no one even knows I exist. I think when I finish writing I'll call an ambulance. My loneliness will be the cause of my pain. My addiction was a coping mechanism for the emptiness, for the suffering. Every day I wished I had someone by my side. I dreamed of it. Maybe the world will finally deny me one last time.
As someone whose only wish was to have true love as well, I feel those words of despair and sadness in my heart.
I get that coping mechanism, in just wanting to feel good and have a "feeling" of being shown interest in, even if its fake.

I gave it up to Jesus, I would rather have my wishes be in his hands than seeing them die out.
But my heart still aches and begs for that love...

Sorry for you having to go through this.
Being born to love and forced to stay alone is a curse in itself.
 
goldenwitch

goldenwitch

Sleep peacefully, my most beloved witch, Beatrice.
Jan 18, 2026
36
I feel like when you are a porn addict it is just better to go cold turkey for a short while (or fully) then try with thoughts as you would be jacking off to to the material in your head. I have this problem.
mm, that might be true, i was never really addicted to porn itself so i didnt know
that sucks, and yea youre probably right, going cold turkey might be better for some people
 
N

Nighthawk

Member
Jan 13, 2026
8
Not judging yourself for doing it can help. And if you catch yourself judging yourself, try not to judge yourself for that either. I know it's easier said than done, but that's often how most addiction cycles work, no matter what the addiction is. We get addicted to something because it temporarily relieves pain, and when we judge ourselves for it, that judgment just creates more emotional pain. Then we feel the need to rely on it even more, and before we know it we're caught in that vicious cycle.
 
Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Visionary
May 7, 2025
2,449
On the Devil's Advocate angle... if you developed a heart condition because of what orgasms were doing to your body... then your problem isn't the masturbation, but the orgasms... and if you had a partner jerking you off, or having sex with that partner, you'd still be in the same place with the physical ailment.

I'm with you on the being alone and having no other options and all that bit... I live there myself... but just wanted to say that whatever physical situation you're dealing with sounds like it's not because of the masturbation and you'd still have that even if you had a partner all this time.
 

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