Help I'm finally moving out, why do I feel like I'm making a mistake?

[RosebyAnyName]

I put an offer for a condo and it was accepted. I'm in my late 20s and I was ready to move away from my parents yesterday. I settled on a condo because I didn't think I would get better within my budget, but now I don't trust I'm making the right choice. My parents hate my choice, they want me to get a single family detached (but anything that's not a fixer-upper is outside my price range, and I'm not a handy person). Knowing my history they're right and I really am making a mistake. I never make good choices, I hate being controlled by them but they're always right in the end and I always look like an idiot after. I don't trust myself or my choices.

Yet, I'm so desparate to leave that I can only reframe this in a self destructive way and I'm not sure if that's healthy. The only way I can cope is thinking that I'd rather make my own mistakes instead of being railroaded by my parents. I just can't convince myself that I'm not making a mistake after hearing my parents hate it, so now I comfort myself by thinking I'd rather make a rash choice without thinking, then hate moving out and kill myself out of guilt for making the wrong choice than have to live with my parents for another year. I can only pray it's the right choice because I'm dumb and trying to decide with logic always fails me. I make choices based on learned hopelessness. Is this wrong? Should I just try to push through anyways?

(For more context, I made another post recently about suddenly feeling no motivation / hopeless from trying to move out).

 

[Hvergelmir]

A condo is perfectly fine. Just moving out, I think you ought to keep costs down, and remain flexible. You'll likely move again at some point.
I think you're mostly nervous about unknowns.

To me, a 2-3 room flat, is ideal, living alone with a dog.
A trailer proved too small, though very cheap. One-room flats have been small but acceptable.
A large house felt like too much maintenance, with heating and the garden, and all.
I've been moving around quite a bit, and the only true regrets have involved renting rooms.

What's the worst you think could happen? What are your parents arguments?

 

[thislifeisunfair]

I put an offer for a condo and it was accepted. I'm in my late 20s and I was ready to move away from my parents yesterday. I settled on a condo because I didn't think I would get better within my budget, but now I don't trust I'm making the right choice. My parents hate my choice, they want me to get a single family detached (but anything that's not a fixer-upper is outside my price range, and I'm not a handy person). Knowing my history they're right and I really am making a mistake. I never make good choices, I hate being controlled by them but they're always right in the end and I always look like an idiot after. I don't trust myself or my choices.

Yet, I'm so desparate to leave that I can only reframe this in a self destructive way and I'm not sure if that's healthy. The only way I can cope is thinking that I'd rather make my own mistakes instead of being railroaded by my parents. I just can't convince myself that I'm not making a mistake after hearing my parents hate it, so now I comfort myself by thinking I'd rather make a rash choice without thinking, then hate moving out and kill myself out of guilt for making the wrong choice than have to live with my parents for another year. I can only pray it's the right choice because I'm dumb and trying to decide with logic always fails me. I make choices based on learned hopelessness. Is this wrong? Should I just try to push through anyways?

(For more context, I made another post recently about suddenly feeling no motivation / hopeless from trying to move out).

I'm in the same position, but with a slight difference. I am moving out of my home. My parents, with whom I currently live with. Don't agree with this decision. They don't trust me and believe I am going to go even more backwards. It's scary. But it is also an opportunity to find a life for yourself. And get to experience freedom, I guess. Try it out. You never know what it could be like. And worst-case scenario, you could move back in with your parents. If things get out of hand, talk to someone before you make an impulsive decision.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

What's the worst you think could happen? What are your parents arguments?

It's in a noisy spot (it's off not quite a highway but a major road), won't appreciate in value as much as a single family detached, and condo fees are a money sink.

My arguments are that it's 5 minutes away from my work + walking distance from all amenities, I can invest the rest of my money to more profitable investments instead of "more house" and being house poor, and a single family detached is a money sink while also being a time sink (my current price range is all fixer-uppers and I'm not handy).

I also want to only live there for maybe 5-10 years, hoping investments can out-pace the insane rising costs of housing. Previously I was only staying at home to minimize costs and save as much as possible, but the cost of housing was rising faster than I could save cash. If I at least get my foot in the door and build *some* equity, then hopefully I won't be left completely behind.

... but knowing my luck, they're right and the value of SFD homes will skyrocket even faster than a condo, investments, and saving cash combined. Then, if I wanted to move again, my only options would be a senior condo with more amenities and insane fees, or giving up on real estate and renting.

It's mostly a matter of finances, I wish money weren't such an issue.

 

[Flubber]

@RosebyAnyName - Just saying I empathise and sympathise with you, having read this thread and your earlier post linked above. A few years ago, I spent a couple of months living back with parents while I was looking to rent another place as my landlord put my rental on the market. It wasn't easy going home when used to full independence for many years.

I fully understand why you need your own space and that you would want to get out ASAP; parents have an amazing/unique ability of pushing buttons that induce utter frustration and unimaginable levels of fury in oneself, They don't mean to but somehow they just do it

As much as you want to vacate your parents' house, could they be right in suggesting other properties?

You mention your condo is is a noisy spot near to a major road and that you'd upscale after 5-10 years. How are at coping you with noisy environments? From past experience of living near noisy households and a busy road. Noisy things were initially anticipated - and you DO get used to 'typical noise'... eventually (for the most part). Wet roads increase tire noise significantly, idiots driving past at ridiculous speeds can be startling, loud exhausts, loud stereo systems with stupid subwoofers can be heard from half a mile away in every direction, people throwing trash out of the windows... plus a myriad of other stuff that can be really annoying. The worst shit always happened in the dead of night as it was the only sounds that could be heard.

Living in a building separated by walls and ceilings was in a different league and an infinitely more horrifying experience when bad neighbours moved in. Thankfully, most didn't stay long. But that's my experience - yours may be a lot more pleasant. It would be great to hear that you're happy in a new home. Just saying that if noise doesn't bother you much, or if your home is adequately sound-proofed. you may be onto an absolute winner

You're in a the midst of a nightmare house price Vs income situation and it does make sense to act *now (like you've already done) before it gets worse. Just wishing all the best to you.

 

[Off_Switch]

The only problem with a condo is if there is a huge economic downturn soon. AKA crash. Like 2008. And it's looking very much like this will be the case soon. If your neighbors start foreclosing, they have to redistribute the loss in HOA revenue to the remaining homeowners in the complex and your HOA fees will skyrocket. In 2008, mine quadrupled over a period of 3 months. So I was forced to foreclose as well.

If you want the honest truth, if a condo was the only thing in your budget, renting would've probably have been the wisest thing to do. I really wish the stigma of being a renter would go away. But best of luck to you. I am not trying to scare you or make you regret your decision. Just my honest 2 cents based on experience. I hope everything works out for you in the end.