Venting im feeling so hopeless

[pulltheline]

ive never been this bad before. so much has happened in three weeks and i want it all to stop. sometimes i feel like i want the help and most of the time i just want it all to stop and to just ctb. i dont have anyone anymore. ive lost all my friends over the past year, i dont speak to my family, ive pushed my partner away. i dont want to hurt people anymore. ive always known the day will come one day, now im just waiting for the trigger. ive stayed up countless nights on ss just reading threads and reading other people's thoughts. its the only comfort i can get for myself right now. sometimes im looking for methods, sometimes im looking at people's recovery and wondering if one day i could ever get to be like that. i just want a hug really. i miss him, i pushed him away because i dont want to hurt him more when i do ctb. i miss being in his arms and i might never get that feeling again.

 

[natali4]

I feel you. I really hope things get better for you. I know the feeling of wanting it all to stop, tired of surviving, and never really living. I hope you find peace and happiness. Here if you feel like you need someone to talk to

 

[gorgonzola]

ive never been this bad before. so much has happened in three weeks and i want it all to stop. sometimes i feel like i want the help and most of the time i just want it all to stop and to just ctb. i dont have anyone anymore. ive lost all my friends over the past year, i dont speak to my family, ive pushed my partner away. i dont want to hurt people anymore. ive always known the day will come one day, now im just waiting for the trigger. ive stayed up countless nights on ss just reading threads and reading other people's thoughts. its the only comfort i can get for myself right now. sometimes im looking for methods, sometimes im looking at people's recovery and wondering if one day i could ever get to be like that. i just want a hug really. i miss him, i pushed him away because i dont want to hurt him more when i do ctb. i miss being in his arms and i might never get that feeling again.

I hope you find peace soon

 

[FuneralCry]

Life can be cruel to us and it can be exhausting. I know what it's like to just want it to stop. I hope you find relief.