I’m dying, I want to know the most peaceful way to go

[Unspoken7612]

I have used multiple different ligatures.

I have tried using a skipping rope. It was painful enough to make me abort my attempts long before I could lose consciousness. I used a noose, secured the knot behind my head, and had the rope pressing against my carotids.

Next I used something thicker, about 3cm diameter. This spread the force slightly more. I tried this both with and without "night night" style pads to try and focus the compression on my carotids. I found this more bearable than skipping rope but it took me a long time to lose consciousness. I could feel capillaries burst in my eyes (if that doesn't sound too dramatic - I had bloodshot eyes afterwards) but couldn't bear to maintain suspension long enough to lose consciousness.

I think I could kill myself this way if I had full suspension and no way of aborting, but I wouldn't look forward to it. I would be anticipating a painful death and several minutes of consciousness, but with a fear that I would botch the attempt and remain conscious for several hours, possibly suffering brain damage.

 

[edensend]

Hi, I'm really sorry for what you're going through. Is there any chance that in the country where you live, considering your conditions, there are associations you can contact to practice MAID?

sadly no. I'm just hoping to find someone to help me