• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
penginwrist

penginwrist

The bells are twined around the dancer’s feet
Jul 25, 2024
12
I'm such a pushover. All I do is try to help people be happy and cheer them up, but I always switch personalities around every single person. I can't even tell who I am. I just want my friends to be happy but it's killing me. I plan to CTB on January or March. I'm gonna feel horrible doing it though, I hate my life but I love my mother, friends and my cats, But everything else other than that sucks. I want my pain to stop though, it's so tiring to even walk or talk. I just want to rest forever without pain or being forced to do something. It doesn't help that I'm extremely unattractive, big button nose, big eyes with bad vision, gross eyebrows, ugly mouth, bad hair. I cant look at myself in the mirror without feeling horrible. I just want to be at peace. :-(. I'm.not talented
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Aww..
Reactions: Grimpoteuthis, b9km5, Imagined_Euphoria and 6 others
DrearyAsh348

DrearyAsh348

Member
May 8, 2023
53
I'm so sorry you're in such pain, you sound like a very caring person. Lots of hugs <3
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: penginwrist and CTB Dream
Imagined_Euphoria

Imagined_Euphoria

Student
Aug 5, 2024
159
I have no desire left to go around and cheer them up, every time I tried to spread happiness I was rewarded with anger or sadness from those around me, even family. Some people want to be angry 24/7.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DrearyAsh348
SilentSadness

SilentSadness

In somewhere else
Feb 28, 2023
1,555
That must be frustrating to not be comfortable with who you are. I hope you find peace and a better situation.
 
  • Like
Reactions: penginwrist and DrearyAsh348

Similar threads

Burdenphilic
Replies
0
Views
159
Suicide Discussion
Burdenphilic
Burdenphilic
livingdeaddyke
Replies
1
Views
195
Suicide Discussion
Frxtagooox
Frxtagooox
T
Replies
12
Views
717
Suicide Discussion
deadngoresurgery
deadngoresurgery
AFoxMissingAMagpie
Venting Just done...
Replies
1
Views
197
Suicide Discussion
Hopeindeath!
H
ari0519786011
Replies
0
Views
221
Suicide Discussion
ari0519786011
ari0519786011