I'm at peace with CTB in the future.

[justletmego_]

I'm almost 30, and I know I won't l see my 50s. I only live for my parents, but they're both very ill. To make matters worse, my dad is displaying dementia symptoms and he's only 51.

I know I'm not scared of death, which I guess is a good start. I've wished for it for so long, and I genuinely believe that I would have CTB years ago had it not been for the love of my parents.

I've spent weeks trying to prepare, and I'm 95% sure my method will be inert gas. The only worry I have is ensuring the purity of the gas, so hopefully I'll be able to trust the companies saying a 99.8% purity of nitrogen and helium. There's something really comforting about drifting off without knowing what's happening.

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine it must be a relief to feel at peace, I wish you the best in your plans.

 

[justletmego_]

I imagine it must be a relief to feel at peace, I wish you the best in your plans.

It's weird. My life is in turmoil, and the only thing that gives me peace is the end. But, I also resent a lot of things because I do think under certain conditions, I'd be happy.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

It's weird. My life is in turmoil, and the only thing that gives me peace is the end. But, I also resent a lot of things because I do think under certain conditions, I'd be happy.

I can relate to this. 20/20 hindsight is brutal and I can perfectly see how I could have easily been happy but my life went to shit and it's now not possible.