Im an Incel loser and I hate it

[Alias Pluto]

lol at this thread. "Women don't owe you shit" is the right thing to say and I just popped in to say nobody owes you anything and got hated on. Ignoring this thread

 

[deadbidaylight]

Im not a fucking troll and i wasnt trying tear anyone down. I was being honest to OP and this JayJay twat harrased me out of nowhere, so i defended myself


just because im involuntary celibate doesnt mean i hate women

Sorry but if you're admitting you were a member of incels.is, you hate women and that's a fact. Go back there, it's where you belong.

@JayJay didnt harass you out of nowhere. Your comment to OP was way out of line. You know zero about the OP and claiming he's genetically unattractive off the hop is just twisted. He called you out on your bullshit, and now you're placing blame where it doesn't belong because people don't accept your hatred and foolishness and just all around fucking nastiness. Get outta here.

We're adults here. If you can't act like one, there isn't a place for you in this forum. Be kind, be helpful, or keep your mouth shut. Simple as that.

 

[whiskers]

you hate women and that's a fact.

No, I don't.

Go back there, it's where you belong.

This is a suicide forum. So naturally, there will be incels here.

@JayJay didnt harass you out of nowhere. Your comment to OP was way out of line. You know zero about the OP and claiming he's genetically unattractive off the hop is just twisted. He called you out on your bullshit, and now you're placing blame where it doesn't belong because people don't accept your hatred and foolishness and just all around fucking nastiness. Get outta here.

We're adults here. If you can't act like one, there isn't a place for you in this forum. Be kind, be helpful, or keep your mouth shut. Simple as that.

I was being kind to OP by telling him the truth. I didn't mean to say it in an insulting way.
And if anything, you're the one acting immature for starting shit with me for such a stupid reason.
I'm being a responsible adult by telling OP the truth rather than gaslighting the shit out of him like how some people love to do.

Didn't say you broke any law. But if you say something, it's probably logged and I'm very certain that the domain owner is very willing to corporate with authorities for some cash. There's also a ton of pedos on that site. Pigs love catching low-hanging fruit. Makes it easier for them. Just to let you know

The feds are too busy smuggling little kids into private islands

I don't think they prioritize a bunch of unattractive guys who NEET in their parent's basement and rot all day

 

[Wolf Girl]

Listen, I'm a woman who has struggled with relationships and I'm about to tell you the truth:

Most people you see around you in relationships are unhappy together. It's all a show they're putting on for themselves and others. There are very few healthy relationships out there. You're likely not missing out on anything special that you would have found with those women you've liked. It sucks, but it's true.

Work on yourself, your communication and relationship skills. Learn about your attachment style. Learn what an actual healthy relationship looks like. Stay off of incel spaces.

 

[JayJay]

Im not a fucking troll and i wasnt trying tear anyone down. I was being honest to OP and this JayJay twat harrased me out of nowhere, so i defended myself


just because im involuntary celibate doesnt mean i hate women

I think you need help. Way more than OP.

No, I don't.

This is a suicide forum. So naturally, there will be incels here.

I was being kind to OP by telling him the truth. I didn't mean to say it in an insulting way.
And if anything, you're the one acting immature for starting shit with me for such a stupid reason.
I'm being a responsible adult by telling OP the truth rather than gaslighting the shit out of him like how some people love to do.

The feds are too busy smuggling little kids into private islands

I don't think they prioritize a bunch of unattractive guys who NEET in their parent's basement and rot all day

No, I don't.

This is a suicide forum. So naturally, there will be incels here.

I was being kind to OP by telling him the truth. I didn't mean to say it in an insulting way.
And if anything, you're the one acting immature for starting shit with me for such a stupid reason.
I'm being a responsible adult by telling OP the truth rather than gaslighting the shit out of him like how some people love to do.

The feds are too busy smuggling little kids into private islands

I don't think they prioritize a bunch of unattractive guys who NEET in their parent's basement and rot all day

Yea that's true. Feds do turn a blind eye when you're mega rich. 460,000 kids go missing every year in the states. Many of those kids end up being turned into Adrenochrome so Taylor swift and rich celebrities stay looking young forever. Like how tf do half a million kids go missing every year and nobody is talking about it?

 

[Kanoh]

This may be due to your young age but you really don't need a woman or a relationship for a fulfilling life. Times have changed and there's many many single people who are living good, productive life. As was said earlier, focus on yourself and your personal interests and development. Your parents will be happy if you are happy regardless if in a relationship.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Men dont typically get attractive till their late 20s-30s and romantic love is just hormones trying to trick you into procreating. Most relationships are temporary and end after the honeymoon stage. You have plenty of time to experience all the heartbreak out there

True. Most women will be looking at older more established guys to date. Late/teens early 20s must really suck for a lot of guys. Hang in there though OP, you really don't need to worry about dying alone and never having a wife or family at this point in your life.

 

[divinemistress36]

Yep early 20s are for going out and having fun

True. Most women will be looking at older more established guys to date. Late/teens early 20s must really suck for a lot of guys. Hang in there though OP, you really don't need to worry about dying alone and never having a wife or family at this point in your life.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

@divinemistress36 definitely! I wonder if it's societal pressure for relationships that is driving all this? Mind you I did feel the same and we're talking a while since I was OP's age. The worst pressure I felt was in my teens and early 20s. After that I just didn't care that much. So I do get it, because you feel like you're being left behind if you haven't had those experiences early. But really in this day and age people are getting into relationships later and later.

 

[iamrealandyouarenot]

Pretty much the title, girls just arent interested in me. They all think that Iam just some awkward weirdo, which Iam. There was this one girl I liked and I thought liked me back, but she rejected me some time back and now pretends to not know me.

I have some friends, and a loving family, I always was that smart kid with good grades back in school, but what use did that serve. Iam not even mad, just sad and desperate, I dont wanna die alone, I dont wanna disappoint my parents and family, Iam scared.
When I talk about it with my dad, he just says that I need to be patient and that someone will eventually come along, but I doubt that. He says that, because he is my father and loves me, and I honestly believes, that he thinks that this will happen, but the experiences I had and have dont give me much hope

I post this here, because I know people on here understand and might know how it feels like and might even be able to give me some advice, because this whole thing is really dragging me down. I fr dont want to die and I dont plan to ctb anytime soon, its too early to lose all hope (Iam in my very early 20s, I still have some time), but living a lonely life, as some weirdo, who has no wife or family of his own doesn't sound appealing either...

I'm not gonna sit here and police the la gauge you're using. There is sort of a weird history to the term incel, and people are reacting strongly because people who decide they are part of that movement are 100% sexist, but just being a guy who isn't getting laid is certainly not a character flaw. What I want to tell you is that as a woman, I used to spend a lot of time researching the topic. I found the forums interesting when they weren't being explicitly hateful, and the major thing I feel that has helped people is for them to realize there is no one in the world who is too ugly/weird for love, there ARE people in this world who cannot foster a healthy relationship due to self hate. Every one of the "ugliest" (based on traditional standards) guys I know are married. Every single man I've ever dated, all of my friends think are ugly and I have never felt that way. The only thing you cannot be and be successful with women is creepy. And there are ways I've noticed that men are creepy to women without realizing it. I'm not assuming you're doing these things but if you are, you're going to have to quit. Do not force yourself into a social situation (like asking for an invite to a party you weren't invited to). Don't talk about sex in front of women unless someone else brought it up, we assume there's a reason you're bringing it up. Don't overshare with someone you don't know well. Don't talk about the internet too much. Don't talk about your problems with women. Pick up some hobbies and expect to make friends, some of which may be women, do not expect them to be romantic with you, and eventually you will meet someone. This BIGGEST red flag to a woman is if ANOTHER woman already thinks you're creepy. That is hard to come back from without a sincere apology.

Sorry for the wall of text.

 

[loser4ever4life]

I was once where you were, angry at the world and women, thinking that if I was good looking/ rich/confident enough that I would've been able to get lucky with women, that life had just dealt me the wrong hand. Then, as time went on, I met some amazing women, had relationships, one night stands, the works. And after all that... I still hated myself lol

The incel community will have you convinced that the reason you're feeling the way you do is because you're a virgin, I will tell you that it is nothing more than a lie. While it may be contributing to your negative self view, if you do achieve what you hope, you will still find yourself empty, be cautious

 

[gothbird]

You're not an incel. You're just lonely.

The word incel has taken on a different meaning in recent years — it's no longer just a term for someone who feels romantically isolated. It's become soaked in propaganda. A label that's now tied to misogyny, resentment, extremism. A culture that breeds anger and turns pain into blame — mostly aimed at women.

But you are not that. You don't sound cruel. You don't sound hateful. You sound like someone who's been disappointed, someone who feels lost in a world that tells you love is proof of your worth. And it's not. You were born with worth. You don't have to earn it through someone else's affection.

You said it yourself: you have friends, you have a loving family. You were bright, thoughtful, academically strong. None of that is useless — those are foundations. You've just convinced yourself they don't matter because they haven't yet delivered the one thing you feel like you're supposed to have.
But romantic love isn't a prize you get for being "good enough". It's not a reward for enduring pain. It's chaotic. It's messy and often inconvenient. Sometimes it comes late. Sometimes it doesn't look like what you imagined at all.

Stop treating yourself like you're defective.

That girl you liked — she didn't owe you love, but I know it still hurts. You're allowed to grieve that. But she gets to set her boundaries too, and her walking away isn't proof that you're unlovable. It's just life, painful and ordinary.
And I promise — I mean promise — the worst thing you could do right now is let some extremist incel space co-opt your story. They will sell you despair dressed up as identity. They will teach you that your suffering is someone else's fault. That women are your enemy. That anger is more powerful than kindness. And it's all lies.

Go walk somewhere quiet. Make something. Break a routine. Touch grass, honestly. Read about things that aren't relationships. Create a life that feels like yours, not one you think someone else would want to join. And when you do? That's when people tend to show up.

 

[moya117]

im sorry that some of the replies are rude to you.
i think its just normalized in the west to have a lot of relationship even though its not very meaningfull starting from teenage years.
i know it feel like you're different from everyone, but trust me, if you're desperate to find a partner, you'll pretty much guaranteed to be in unhappy relationship since your relationship is based on your loneliness, i know this bcs i have been through the same thing.

like anyone said, work on yourself first, it will take time and its not easy, i myself struggled even though its been like more than 5yrs
its not about physical appearence, if you're really getting into a relationship bcs your girl just like your face, i don't think she's good for you man.
take care of basic hygiene, maybe do some skincare and make yourself more stylish, nothing fancy, just clothes that the colours go together is good enough.
about you being "weird", as long as you don't stepping out of someone'sboundary then i don't see the problem. i see a lot of "weird" people getting into a relationship and they're happy, ik some will think or say "well they're attractive" attractiveness doesn'tjust mean physical stuff, if we'retalking abt physical stuff here, i see some objectively unattractive ppl have a relatinship so that's not the problem here.

anyway, im not good with words but if you want someone to talk to then im here, feel free to dm : )

You're not an incel. You're just lonely.

The word incel has taken on a different meaning in recent years — it's no longer just a term for someone who feels romantically isolated. It's become soaked in propaganda. A label that's now tied to misogyny, resentment, extremism. A culture that breeds anger and turns pain into blame — mostly aimed at women.

But you are not that. You don't sound cruel. You don't sound hateful. You sound like someone who's been disappointed, someone who feels lost in a world that tells you love is proof of your worth. And it's not. You were born with worth. You don't have to earn it through someone else's affection.

You said it yourself: you have friends, you have a loving family. You were bright, thoughtful, academically strong. None of that is useless — those are foundations. You've just convinced yourself they don't matter because they haven't yet delivered the one thing you feel like you're supposed to have.
But romantic love isn't a prize you get for being "good enough". It's not a reward for enduring pain. It's chaotic. It's messy and often inconvenient. Sometimes it comes late. Sometimes it doesn't look like what you imagined at all.

Stop treating yourself like you're defective.

That girl you liked — she didn't owe you love, but I know it still hurts. You're allowed to grieve that. But she gets to set her boundaries too, and her walking away isn't proof that you're unlovable. It's just life, painful and ordinary.
And I promise — I mean promise — the worst thing you could do right now is let some extremist incel space co-opt your story. They will sell you despair dressed up as identity. They will teach you that your suffering is someone else's fault. That women are your enemy. That anger is more powerful than kindness. And it's all lies.

Go walk somewhere quiet. Make something. Break a routine. Touch grass, honestly. Read about things that aren't relationships. Create a life that feels like yours, not one you think someone else would want to join. And when you do? That's when people tend to show up.

anyway, this is better said than mine, idk if i have to react this with hearts or informative lol

 

[ramon]

Listen, I'm a woman who has struggled with relationships and I'm about to tell you the truth:

Most people you see around you in relationships are unhappy together. It's all a show they're putting on for themselves and others. There are very few healthy relationships out there. You're likely not missing out on anything special that you would have found with those women you've liked. It sucks, but it's true.

Work on yourself, your communication and relationship skills. Learn about your attachment style. Learn what an actual healthy relationship looks like. Stay off of incel spaces.

While I strongly agree with this statement, it wouldn't be a surprise if I end up interpreting it in a very different way.

Therefore, @Wolf Girl , PLEASE don't carve my testicles out with a wooden spoon for ACCIDENTALLY twisting your words!

So, Here goes nothing, @NPCaesar :

For appearances, assuming that you're broke, go to online communities (specially YouTube) related to seduction and hand pick everything you need to LOOK your best (hygiene, exercising, grooming, and fashion). You don't need to become an underwear model overnight! You just need to pick up the attitude of a man who LEGITIMATELY wants to become better by the day. Girls can detect that attitude and that makes them interested in you (Not attracted to you, but it's a good start).

For confidence, read Rollo Tomassi's "The Rational Male". This book will teach you not to chase women, but to chase that self love we all must have before before being loved by others.

For relationship skills, I don't recommend most of the ideas provided by the online seduction community. Instead, get the following type of books or videos and figure out a way to ingrain part of these materials into you modus operandi:

*. One book on negotiation (Similar to Chriss Voss's "Never Split The Difference").
*. One book on persuasion (Similar to Patrick King's "Persuasion Tactics" or R.B. Sparkman's "The Art Of Manipulation").
*. A short video or two on JUST approaching women in public (This is the exception to my prevention towards online seduction advice).
*. One book on intention detection (Similar to David J. Lieberman's "Never Be Lied To Again").

Q: ¡¡¿¿TOO MUCH HARD WORK??!!
A: Please let me know about anybody who became good at relationships in a year or two. Even the legitimate lady's man learnt what he knows in a decade or two by improving his game via trial and error, and by stop giving a monkey's butt about getting rejected by a thousand women.

Q: ¡¡¿¿WILL I TURN 99 BY THE TIME I MASTER ALL THIS CRAP??!!
A: You can spend your whole life trying to get women, get zero results, and still tell yourself "I tried the HARDEST and that's why I'm proud of myself"; or you can spend decades blaming others (in this case, women) for your failures... like I did in the past... DON'T REPEAT MY MISTAKE!!!

Q: ¡¡¿¿WHAT GUARANTEES I HAVE THAT THIS CRAP WILL EVER WORK??!!
A: Chances are you'll never get the girl of your dreams; but, in the process, you became the man you always wanted to be. The kind of man who needs nobody (even girls) to enjoy every new day. The kind of man who can choose to be happy around women or to be happy all by himself. Again, women can detect that and can't help feel attracted to that.

Q: ¡¡¡BUT I FEEL LONELY!!! ¡¡¡ I NEED TO HAVE SOMEONE NEXT TO ME, RIGHT NOW!!! ¡¡¡I FEEL LIKE I'M WASTING MY YOUTH!!!
A: I say it's a good deal to forfeit company in your 20s in favor of becoming that someone you admire and would like to become, so that your 30s and 40s will become the most memorable decades of your life. Besides, as you age, your testosterone levels decrease to a point in which your emotions will no longer take control over you as they usually do in your 20s, therefore making your perception of life more enjoyable.

Send me a postcard when you reach this life goal of yours, but don't take too long. The bus can come pick me up any time soon.

 

[HighFlight]

Pretty much the title, girls just arent interested in me. They all think that Iam just some awkward weirdo, which Iam. There was this one girl I liked and I thought liked me back, but she rejected me some time back and now pretends to not know me.

I have some friends, and a loving family, I always was that smart kid with good grades back in school, but what use did that serve. Iam not even mad, just sad and desperate, I dont wanna die alone, I dont wanna disappoint my parents and family, Iam scared.
When I talk about it with my dad, he just says that I need to be patient and that someone will eventually come along, but I doubt that. He says that, because he is my father and loves me, and I honestly believes, that he thinks that this will happen, but the experiences I had and have dont give me much hope

I post this here, because I know people on here understand and might know how it feels like and might even be able to give me some advice, because this whole thing is really dragging me down. I fr dont want to die and I dont plan to ctb anytime soon, its too early to lose all hope (Iam in my very early 20s, I still have some time), but living a lonely life, as some weirdo, who has no wife or family of his own doesn't sound appealing either...

I feel what you're going through - I've lived it. I was an incel before the term incels existed, and way before they got the reputation they have now days. Your feeling ae real and I don't have a magic wand that can fix the problem. What I can suggest is a shift in focus - it took me till my mid-20's to figure this out. Instead of focusing on how sad, lonely and desperate you are, try focusing on helping others - like your family or even volunteer. Focus on your education and/or career; on hobbies or projects. In short, find the things that make you happy and spend you're time on those.

Why?? Because while you're desperately looking for someone else, you're forgetting to live your own life. Once you start living for yourself, you'd be amazed at how things change. And who knows, you might just begin to meet and connect with other people who share your same interests, including a possible future wife.

Please feel free to DM's me (not chat) if you'd like to discuss further. Regardless, I hope that you can find some peace and happiness as you move through this lifetime.

---

P.S. @whiskers, please be sure that your replies are respectful to OP, and others on the thread. It wouldn't look too good if you got banned from both incel.is and SaSu. Continuing the incel spat in this thread will result in formal warnings. If you have any questions, you can DM me as well.

 

[NPCaesar]

idk, if you build your whole life around a future woman you're never going to be happy, especially when you do find someone to be that woman. Make your own happiness, find fulfillment in your own life. A partner will naturally appear in the process.

I rly hope that you are right man, but I have so many things to take care of, like improving my personality by alot, finally being able to changw my hair in a way that it stops looking like Iam some fucking nerd, getting other things in my life together. Idk its just so much standing in my way...

You have to enjoy your time to yourself a bit more. I enjoy solitude. There's plenty of things you can do. There are a lot of people stuck in extremely miserable relationships. Statistically, most relationships and marriages are doomed to fail. And even the couples that stay together aren't really happy for the most part. Only few, I would say less than 10% are truly happy.

Also, you're too young to be so worried about being single. You have plenty of time to find the right person.'Cause the wrong person will have you regretting every second.Also, if your happiness is based on someone else, it is never going to succeed, you know that right? Your happiness can only depend on you. Giving someone else that power over you is a recipe for disaster.

Yeah, thats why I said that its too early to lose all hope, but these unhappy people at least achieved something in their lives, like having kids that they can raise and stuff, if you know what Iam saying. Iam just worried that Ill never achieve stuff like that myself

Women don't owe you shit. Your life (or death) shouldn't be based on whether or not a girl likes you back.
If you give off weird and sad vibes people are going to pick up on it and it will seem "less attractive"
you gotta make your own happiness. It can't be determined based on women

I get your point, but for me personally its about my own happiness, I want to have a family later, want to raise kids, if I dont manage that I will have to live a lonely life, which I dont want to do in the slightest

 

[pretentioussuika]

I rly hope that you are right man, but I have so many things to take care of, like improving my personality by alot, finally being able to changw my hair in a way that it stops looking like Iam some fucking nerd, getting other things in my life together. Idk its just so much standing in my way...

I get your point, but for me personally its about my own happiness, I want to have a family later, want to raise kids, if I dont manage that I will have to live a lonely life, which I dont want to do in the slightest

You're doing a lot of putting the cart before the horse. Talking about how you need to sort your hair and you want a family is like watching an anime and saying you're in your way to being a master swordsman. It's okay to dream, but don't delude yourself into thinking every single thing you do can only matter if it gets you closer to marriage. Seriously, just get a hobby for now.

 

[NPCaesar]

I truly understand how you feel. I just turned 26 and, to this day, I've never had any kind of interaction with the opposite sex. Not once.
The insecurity of never having had a girlfriend started to hit me around the age of 22, when I looked around and saw all my friends in relationships, while I was the only one still single. Over time, that feeling became heavier and started to really hurt.
My self-esteem has never been strong. There have been girls who, in some way, showed interest in me, but I never knew how to respond. I was, and maybe still am, too awkward, too shy, too… out of place.
And now here I am, 26 years old, still a virgin, never even kissed anyone, with the constant thought of CTB in the next month. Relationships are just one of the many reasons I'm thinking of ending it all… but they're not the most important one.

Yeah, I get that. Many people around have their partners, while Iam stuck inside this situation. I made out with a girl one time when we both were 15 and hella shitfaced at a party, but thats basically it. Iam rly sorry about the situation you are in, however. I rly hope that you find what you are looking for. In either life or death, if you wanna talk to someone, Iam here :)

I'm telling him the truth bud.

It's ok, you're just physically unattractive and that's just genetic. So don't blame yourself for being born on the lower end of the stick. The blackpill shall set you free.

Uhm, thanks for your words, I guess? Iam not rly into this whole looxmaxing thing, with Blackpill, redpill and shit. Its just seems somewhat weird to me.

Sorry your vent got hijacked into whatever incel debate that was. Us humans are social creatures and many us of crave intimacy to feel cared for and loved. Being upset over that doesn't make you an incel and you definitely do not deserve the "women don't owe you shit" rhetoric. You weren't even being misogynistic, but people here can be sensitive. It's tough man.

Yeah thanks for your words man, appreciate it <3. These Looksmaxing guys/incels/whatever these people call themselves are rly rly weird. I dont hate woman for not liking me, I think its kind of a me problem, that Iam not good enough to be loved.

 

[NPCaesar]

GASP Y-you said the controversial word! Quickly, everybody! Let your opinions be known! Hijack this thread with your worthless opinions ASAP! Awesome "support" forum. Sorry OP.

Yeah, I kinda expected it to be going this way
But there are also alot of you normal folks here giving me advice, which I rly appreciate!

You're doing a lot of putting the cart before the horse. Talking about how you need to sort your hair and you want a family is like watching an anime and saying you're in your way to being a master swordsman. It's okay to dream, but don't delude yourself into thinking every single thing you do can only matter if it gets you closer to marriage. Seriously, just get a hobby for now.

I know my previous reply sounded kind of cringe, but I have hobbies, I have interests and I have some friends, which whom I sometimes go out with and do alot of stuff with. If it werent for girls my life would be somewhat decent, if you get what Iam trying to say

 

[SecretDissociation]

I had a friend that complained about being constantly blocked by women, and was tired of dating and how everything was about sex... And then he wouldn't tell me anything about his life and I just wanted to be his friend but the conversations were just filled with dead memes and him being a gooner over Marvel Rivals and the fem characters. I ended up getting really tired of this surface level thing and said bye and that it was fun but I can't do it anymore and blocked him.

Sometimes, you just need to find your people. And sometimes, some people are just really unlucky. He has a group of friends, but they never talk about 'deep' things (i.e mental health, how they're feeling) just constantly joking. instead of seeing the problem, he just moaned about loneliness and women. Sometimes you need time to ponder on these things.

Now, i'm biolically female. And I have a hard time befriending everyone. But that doesn't mean it's their fault. i'm just unlucky and that's okay. I have a very good online friend, and sometimes it's just really hard to find people you'll click with.

 

[NPCaesar]

I'm not gonna sit here and police the la gauge you're using. There is sort of a weird history to the term incel, and people are reacting strongly because people who decide they are part of that movement are 100% sexist, but just being a guy who isn't getting laid is certainly not a character flaw. What I want to tell you is that as a woman, I used to spend a lot of time researching the topic. I found the forums interesting when they weren't being explicitly hateful, and the major thing I feel that has helped people is for them to realize there is no one in the world who is too ugly/weird for love, there ARE people in this world who cannot foster a healthy relationship due to self hate. Every one of the "ugliest" (based on traditional standards) guys I know are married. Every single man I've ever dated, all of my friends think are ugly and I have never felt that way. The only thing you cannot be and be successful with women is creepy. And there are ways I've noticed that men are creepy to women without realizing it. I'm not assuming you're doing these things but if you are, you're going to have to quit. Do not force yourself into a social situation (like asking for an invite to a party you weren't invited to). Don't talk about sex in front of women unless someone else brought it up, we assume there's a reason you're bringing it up. Don't overshare with someone you don't know well. Don't talk about the internet too much. Don't talk about your problems with women. Pick up some hobbies and expect to make friends, some of which may be women, do not expect them to be romantic with you, and eventually you will meet someone. This BIGGEST red flag to a woman is if ANOTHER woman already thinks you're creepy. That is hard to come back from without a sincere apology.

Sorry for the wall of text.

Thanks for your reply, no need to apologise for the wall of text, its alright, I enjoy reading things. I dont do these things that you just stated. Are there any other things in regards to coming over as creepy or weird, that I should know of and are important?

 

[NPCaesar]

You're not an incel. You're just lonely.

The word incel has taken on a different meaning in recent years — it's no longer just a term for someone who feels romantically isolated. It's become soaked in propaganda. A label that's now tied to misogyny, resentment, extremism. A culture that breeds anger and turns pain into blame — mostly aimed at women.

But you are not that. You don't sound cruel. You don't sound hateful. You sound like someone who's been disappointed, someone who feels lost in a world that tells you love is proof of your worth. And it's not. You were born with worth. You don't have to earn it through someone else's affection.

You said it yourself: you have friends, you have a loving family. You were bright, thoughtful, academically strong. None of that is useless — those are foundations. You've just convinced yourself they don't matter because they haven't yet delivered the one thing you feel like you're supposed to have.
But romantic love isn't a prize you get for being "good enough". It's not a reward for enduring pain. It's chaotic. It's messy and often inconvenient. Sometimes it comes late. Sometimes it doesn't look like what you imagined at all.

Stop treating yourself like you're defective.

That girl you liked — she didn't owe you love, but I know it still hurts. You're allowed to grieve that. But she gets to set her boundaries too, and her walking away isn't proof that you're unlovable. It's just life, painful and ordinary.
And I promise — I mean promise — the worst thing you could do right now is let some extremist incel space co-opt your story. They will sell you despair dressed up as identity. They will teach you that your suffering is someone else's fault. That women are your enemy. That anger is more powerful than kindness. And it's all lies.

Go walk somewhere quiet. Make something. Break a routine. Touch grass, honestly. Read about things that aren't relationships. Create a life that feels like yours, not one you think someone else would want to join. And when you do? That's when people tend to show up.

Wow, thanks that reply, it was very nice reading this and all the other comments. Its kind of ironic that of all the places, where one could find courage and support, its a suicide forum. About the things you wrote, yeah Iam not one of these weird ass Incels you find online and Iam not planning on become one of them anytime soon . Iam not rly into these terms and didnt know that it had taken such a radical meaning nowadays lol, if I had known, I probably would have chosen a different tigle. I know that the girl I liked didnt own me any form of love, it just broke my heart (and the way she treated me afterwards wasnt entirely ok either, but I wont bother you with details about some heartache of some random guy online). I thought that me and her were so close and when I opened up to her, she just rejected, told me that we had known each other for too long. I bet you know how awful that feels...

 

[Grav]

Going to sound red pill but you need to work on yourself, yes easier said than done. Desperation isn't an attractant. Unfortunately many of the things that help to meet people are things people on here have problems doing.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

not sure what happened to this thread, but back to the start... Yeah, I'm an awkward loser who somehow did get married and it's been hell for me and more so for her. I remember the longing and desperate wish for a girl to like me, but beware, there are worse things than being alone and miserable. You might actually be better off as you are, sorry to say that. It's odd because I want to say "you'll find someone eventually" but that doesn't really help does it. It sucks either way.

 

[TheSeeker]

I'm about the same but I always find comfort when I remember my magic instructions "in the mouth at a 15 degree angle" and I go about my day.

 

[thelookingontheway]

People who don't really consider ctb are asking for comfort from others here in Suicide Discussion. Could not come up with a more _____ thing to do.
I'm not saying my empathy is for suicidal only, but I just thought I'd get rid of these (vividly) controversial topics at least in this Suicide Discussion board.

 

[Izzythebelle]

Pretty much the title, girls just arent interested in me. They all think that Iam just some awkward weirdo, which Iam. There was this one girl I liked and I thought liked me back, but she rejected me some time back and now pretends to not know me.

I have some friends, and a loving family, I always was that smart kid with good grades back in school, but what use did that serve. Iam not even mad, just sad and desperate, I dont wanna die alone, I dont wanna disappoint my parents and family, Iam scared.
When I talk about it with my dad, he just says that I need to be patient and that someone will eventually come along, but I doubt that. He says that, because he is my father and loves me, and I honestly believes, that he thinks that this will happen, but the experiences I had and have dont give me much hope

I post this here, because I know people on here understand and might know how it feels like and might even be able to give me some advice, because this whole thing is really dragging me down. I fr dont want to die and I dont plan to ctb anytime soon, its too early to lose all hope (Iam in my very early 20s, I still have some time), but living a lonely life, as some weirdo, who has no wife or family of his own doesn't sound appealing either...

Hey bubba,

You got some really good advice here (and some less than stellar words lmao) and I wanted to pitch in with a friendly voice. There's a quote from Star Trek that your rejection reminded me of: "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." I think of it to remind myself that when things don't go your way, it isn't a reflection of you or your value. Rejection sucks, and I'm sorry that that girl reacted that way, but that's not on you. you seem like a good person and it'd be a shame if you lost sight of that cause someone said no.

Anyway, 'd tell you that if you want to meet women and develop a relationship, your best bet is to, counterintuitively, stop giving a fuck. I struggled with meeting people of any kind bc social anxiety, and when I made my life goal "meet someone and make friends" I got really lost in trying to socialize "the right way" and it all went to shit.

But when I kinda gave up on meeting people and focused on doing my own thing, people kinda just sprang up around me. I didn't really try to make human connections, they just happened over time while I was exploring whatever I felt like trying out.

Your dad's right; be patient, but don't be idle. Fuck around and find out what you love doing and get lost in, y'know? Ask yourself "What does NPCaesar love doing?" and run with it.

Fwiw, I think you're gonna do great. The fact that you're willing to post and talk about it and be open minded and accepting of advice from people who mean well tells me that you've got a good heart. Don't lose hope. Best of luck out there, buddy.

 

[rs929]

I'm watching Adolescence. I might be old but I remember the manosphere wasn't evil years ago. You had the red pill and forums like Sosuave, and guys like David DeAngelo saying you had to be "cocky and funny" to seduce women. That kind of helped me getting into a relationship to be honest (IF I WAS ABLE TO GET A GIRLFRIEND, THE BLACK PILL IS DEFINITELY WRONG) . Then the incels and the black pill came along. They were no evil either, they were mostly depressed teenagers that came into the realization that they wouldn't ever have success with women because of their looks.
Somehow, something happened and nowadays everything related to the manosphere is labeled as mysoginistic and potentially terrorist. I guess some guys became really resentful towards women and started to spread hate. But even then, aren't they just a minority?
Maybe someone can explain it to me.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I'm really sorry you feel this way. I felt a similar way for most of my teenage/adult life. A bit of an incel, but just in the sense that I was involuntarily celibate, I never actually held those awful sexist views against women or interacted with incel communities online. If you are that way, I would highly recommended leaving any online incel communities you're part of and working on overcoming mysoginistic views you have, possibly with a therapist. But I realize you might not be this way, and it's likely you have more negative views toward yourself than towards women.

When I talk about it with my dad, he just says that I need to be patient and that someone will eventually come along, but I doubt that. He says that, because he is my father and loves me, and I honestly believes, that he thinks that this will happen, but the experiences I had and have dont give me much hope

Your father means well, but I don't think this is very good advice. Ultimately, people usually don't find love because someone just 'comes along', and this is even more true for men. The reality is just that our societies typically place more responsibility on the man to 'pursue' or initiate dates. Practically speaking, this just means that it's usually the man who has to ask out women, as many women won't ask out a guy on a date even if they ldo like him, since this is the 'man's role'.

My main advice to you would be to try and work on your confidence. There are many ways of doing this, and maybe therapy would be helpful, but honestly for me this came from starting to go to the gym and improve my appearance. I don't mean to echo the 'blackpill' or anything and say it's all about looks because it's not, but getting regular exercise does wonders for your mood and helps make you feel more confident about your body and your self as a whole.

Another thing to try is to get out of your comfort zone. I remember the first time I asked out a girl, I was so nervous and stumbled over my words... and she said no, but she was nice about it (most people won't be mean!), and I simply said 'okay, no worries' and that was that. After you've done it a few times, you realize it isn't that scary. But I would advise not trying to start to date right away, but instead to first ry and work a bit on your mental health and confidence.

Sorry if this whole response is a bit scatterbrained, but I also want to say I understand your pain and I'm sorry you feel this way, but also that I think you have the potential to make your life better. My DMs are open if you want to talk!

 

[SleepSoon1]

This thread is wild, you are not unattractive and even if you were there is always someone you would consider uglier, what you are however is either boring or have no personality or worse both, what's great is you can work on both very easily for free. I have seen straight up disfigured people get in relationships and are happy, why? because they don't have the personality of a rock, do some interesting things or are just fun to be around. I never considered myself good looking by any means and have done fine. Get out there and get some hobbies to mix with people, talk to people to work on social skills, volunteer somewhere.